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Filed under: General — Julie @ 2:11 pm Sun 20th September 2020

It’s been a while since I posted here …. or anywhere, for that matter. And I need to overcome this hurdle quickly, because I’m venturing into an online magazine dedicated to ‘Empowering Single Parents & their Families’, both dads and mums. (btw, your input is valued and desired)

Something is blocking my willingness to expose corruption and abuse of power while I’m highly motivated using anger and rage (considered dark energy by Jim Bagnall that’s formed during interventions (I.e:, CYFS, Family Court)) heightened when dealing with corrupt interventionists who abuse their power.

(Btw,I have wondered if you saw my dealings with Police 10/7). That was before I learned to manage the ‘dark energy’ that simply appears when dealing with new interventions similar to CYFS and their corrupt,power abusing, destructive, interventionists.

I do visit and write posts while preferring to use office word, 🙂 so you can’t read the embarrassing drafts.

But THEN…. grrr, shoot, bummer….
I’m stuck….
I can’t post…

Instead I save the post, hide it away, and leave.. only to return when once again, angered or enraged.

I think perhaps, I am affected by expected consequences and empathy whilst I’m in a ‘priviledged’ position having the best of information and knowledge.

I am also sad and sorry for attacking Sue Bradford which may be the last post I wrote. As I become wiser, I understand things much clearer. Was she placed in a bad position as was Peter Dunne from United Future (given the CS portfolio when wanting to empower families, especially nuclear families)?

Have you ever experienced what I am dealing with? Do have some advice to share?


  1. Election 2020
    12 Days till voting opens

    There’s so much imo to reveal.

    PS: Since seeing you, I almost again died. This time, I had a week to live, hehe.
    There’s much to share on Hospitals and pther infrastrure. Straight the mouths of hopaital specialists.

    OMgosh: You can see Nationals work at play . I dont think any of us analysed the changesd national made to WINZ, CS, etc that had zero to do with Family interventions.
    Their changes are going change the whole system, imo. Workhouses, poorhouses, institutions for people unable to work, etc, etc.

    Comment by Julie — Sun 20th September 2020 @ 2:21 pm

  2. The family court system is enabling parental alienation.
    Child abuse in any shape or form should not be tolerated, let alone enabled by a justice system which provokes the abuse of power mentioned. For the sake of the innocent people being effected, raising awareness is necessary.

    I believe it would be in any child’s best interest to experience the love from both of its parent’s.
    Why do parent’s need to fight in a court regarding child custody / access for the right to give their child the love they need, deserve and want?

    Targeted parents and their children are torn from each others lives on a daily basis simply due the ease protection order’s are served – left right and centre. All one has to do is write to the court making claims and allegations which will be deemed as true – no evidence needed.. “Next”.

    In my opinion if a person really needs protection then pick up a phone and dial 111 or hire a body guard.
    It will help filter the innocent people effected by the DV racket.

    The impact and long term effects of emotional neglect alone are devastating to a child who suddenly experiences the loss of a parent/s they love. Emotional effect to the other parent who suddenly has to experience the loss of a child they love can be described as crippling and quite often fatal.

    Why not have proceedings go in front of a jury with an equal gender ratio and outcomes made based on key facts and actual evidence evidence to determine the best interest of the child / children involved.

    Scientific facts researched are available which should help a judge identify whether a persons emotional state is normal or abnormal behaviour.

    Raise the question with the prime minister around the corruption concerns ruining innocent children and parents lives, perhaps a few law corrections for the sake of peace.

    In the end of the day the only real victims are the children. Too many wreckless judgments destroying families.

    Comment by RobinNoah — Sun 20th September 2020 @ 9:27 pm

  3. spot on noah (2), ‘protection’ orders are the most extreme of all child abuse: Legalised Child Kidnapping. those who don’t campaign on this sentence alone are clearly agents of the the govtpedoring. my Tregear-Watts have been legalised kidnapped against their original will and brainwashed (stockholm syndrome) not to contact me 2012-2020+ and NO ONE HAS DONE JACK SHIT TO EVEN ARRANGE MEET BETWEEN ME AND MY KIDNAPPED CHILDREN NOW ADULTS. NO ONE.

    Comment by phil r watts — Mon 21st September 2020 @ 2:29 pm

  4. Yes Phil, it is very sad and the frustration of it all is indescribable. Its hard to let go of a child who you love dearly (law enforced) but it is literally the only way to heal and focus on personable well being.

    – I agree with you in regards to the lack of law assistance and disregard for emotional well being of the child and target parent – in the Family Court.
    The District court however… will lock a man up for even daring to text message their wife.

    It can be the most civil text message to a wife, your Childs other parent it doesn’t matter, its a “breach” and is a conviction at a high level. #NoFilter

    District Court:
    – It is a “breach” of the law to practice good co – parenting with an alienating parent.
    – It is a “breach” to directly show concern for their Childs well being
    -It is a “breach” to show any attempt of expressing their interest in their Child’s life with the alienating parent.

    Family Court:
    – Alienating parent breaches parenting order’s with no concern or investigation’s.

    Parental Alienation and/or Syndrome (PAS) Awareness idea’s.
    – leaflet’s or quick tv advertisement like the Covid announcements we hear on the radio and see in the paper, on the web and on the television. The aim focus is educating and encouraging support for the parents and the children in all aspects – emotional, mentally, physically and psychological.
    – A lot of good and nothing bad can be done by raising awareness of what parental alienation is and the effects it has on some people. A lot of the alienation / abuse happens “unknowingly” apparently.

    – Legal documents to explain openly with how equality of human right’s are assessed and addressed.

    Unfortunately, it seems to be a case of “it takes one to know one.”

    -Raising awareness will be great to help educate parents of certain behavior’s.
    “parenting through separation course” means nothing when only one parent does the course and is not mandatory. All separation / child access / marriage dissolution cases must have both parents do the courses.

    – Parental Alienation to be deemed as illegal (Parental alienation is illegal in some countries e.g. Brazil and Mexico.

    Hope this info helps Julie, some idea’s on raising awareness 🙂

    Comment by RobinNoah — Sun 27th September 2020 @ 8:32 am

  5. Hello Julie.
    Good to hear you are still fighting for the people.

    Been in deep thought lately (Month’s) about men’s issues.
    It is clear to me that society has developed serous problems.
    Many of those that you encounter, are the results of bigotry against men.

    It’s a cycle of violence.

    Bigotry towards males.
    Males respond with failure.
    Males punished for failure.
    Males punish society for failure.
    Proof of need of bigotry.
    Bigotry towards males.

    I recently looked at what I could find on the death of a man.
    He committed suicide.
    His poor defenceless child will be left with the knowledge that something they said in a family court interview, was the justification for his loss of parenting rights. No allegations of physical violence, sexual abuse, or any other abuse was made.
    They took his home, his business, his income, his freedom, his dignity, his beliefs, his future, and in a profoundly disgusting way, his children.
    The child said dad got angry at him once. The other kids offered nothing of interest.
    All I saw from the coroner was, lies, lies, and more lies.

    I am sad.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Mon 28th September 2020 @ 7:00 pm

  6. After going through the court system, you realize that all you will ever have is an impression of Justice or an illusion of Justice.
    I have been burned and churned and dessicated and flayed and cremated and emasculated and … add your experience. BUt I am still alive and an echo chamber for pain
    I used to wake up every morning angry.
    My soul that had drifted overnight looks below at my sore body still alive besides all, echoing every hardship, every pain every hurt and every crucifixion my ego has undergone.
    A body that can only handle the pain with equal amount of anger, sadness and even psychological hypocrisy mixed in just to survive the emotional onslaught.
    MY soul drifts above this body and cannot find a way back in.
    I lay there for a very long time looking for a way back into consciousness without reacting to my impulses.
    And as my soul re-enters this body, emotions assaults my soul and I have to relive every pain stored and every hurt in my cells magazines.
    I day dream of revenge. I want to DISTILL THE SAME hurt TO those that have harmed me and those that have taken my children away from me JUST TO HARM THEM.
    I have held hope that the truth will shine bright and i have kept hope HIGH, trust and faith that the truth shall always set you free.
    But in this system, the truth is something that is engineered every new day.
    I think and I think and I think of ways to make those people accountable. I dream and I scheme in my head until I reach the intended result, either accountability or payback.
    I Can feel the adrenaline rush in as, in my mind, I enter the court room and find the corrupt judge and cut his balls off…then I do the same with the cops that arrested me just to move my case from the family court which was favorable and into the criminal court which was prejudicial..then the CYFS workers that took the wrong side and took my kid away from me. And the lawyer that was inept and all his colleagues who are all officers of the court… I even think of the mother of my children and how I would like to be vindicated.
    But then I had to think of how that would affect my kids. I think of how that would affect teh cops kids, the social workers kids, their families and all the relationships and human ties that make those people parents, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, uncle, aunties, mothers, gran’ma and grand fathers.
    And I think of how each would be affected by my actions…And how any action in retaliation would bring unintended consequences to each and every one of those people I do not know,,, and how any form of violence from me, would only trigger another circle of violence/HURT/PAIN.
    By then my soul has taken a good hold of me. I have visualized every way I could punish them. I have lived that punishment in me and I know I can anytime turn this entire world upside down for each and every one of them- if I chose to. But then, all of that is my ego refusing to allow my soul it’s seat of wisdom.
    And so I wake up and I pray for the judge and the cops and the social worker and the lawyers, even the mother of my children and theN my children and all other children undergoing the same.
    By praying I am visualizing the outcome I want for my children. It is never too late, I visualize the type of person (human) I would like to have seen in the cop, the cyfs worker and every body in the system that contributes to the destruction of the nz family.
    I have walked in honour. And I have not stooped down to their level. That is my only comfort.
    I have not compromised my soul. AND THE PAIN I FEEL REMINDS ME I HAVE NOT BEEN CORRUPTED.
    Now I make sure to accompany my soul in its journey at night, IT knows of my sadness and pain. It knows of my hurt and agony… but more importantly, it knows those are all ego based.
    Since then, my ego has taken the role of a guide for my soul. It exposes areas of interest, of conflict and of disesntion within. It is actually amazing that sometimes, it forewarns me of my emotional state and delivers my energy fluxes to my soul before they even become emotions, reveals their triggers and advises me of my true state so I can transmute my energy into positive actions and thoughts. Instead of reactions.
    At times I feel the world is inhabitated by barbarians and I am from another world. I Cannot even bother telling others how I feel or what I have gone through because it is not their experience, they cannot even apprehend nor comprehend the humiliation and the agony of an existence perverted.

    Am still struggling in the mornings… at times… But one shall never forget even if forgiveness is best

    Comment by JustCurious — Mon 26th October 2020 @ 6:00 am

  7. The What Went Wrong Song

    The first thing you did wrong
    Was hook up with a girl who wasn’t right
    The first thing you did wrong
    Was hook up with a girl who wasn’t right
    Behind that pretty face
    Behind those shining eyes
    There was a lot you couldn’t see
    That just wasn’t right
    That just wasn’t right

    Truth be told, you’re looking back
    Looking back, trying to figure it out
    Truth be told, you’re looking back
    Looking back, trying to figure it out
    Trying and trying to come to grips
    That behind her sweet voice
    Was, what you couldn’t admit
    Just wasn’t right
    Just wasn’t right

    Do you need a nurse to write your own verse
    Because you haven’t worked it out
    Do you need a nurse to write your verse
    Because you haven’t worked it out
    You haven’t reached the day
    When, what you need to hear
    Is what you have to say
    About what wasn’t right
    About what wasn’t right

    Comment by Writer of Sorts — Mon 26th October 2020 @ 8:50 am

  8. #7 many thanks… that sums it all up
    “Was hook up with a girl who wasn’t right”

    “Do you need a nurse to write your own verse
    Because you haven’t worked it out”

    and that is how history repeats itself.

    Comment by JustCurious — Mon 26th October 2020 @ 12:20 pm

  9. Mr Dunne.

    He was aware that paternity fraud was wrong.
    He knew money is being stolen.
    He became minister of CS.
    He knowingly took money from falsely claimed fathers.
    He took no action to prevent it happening.

    Prison for Mr Dunne.

    Very simple case.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Sat 31st October 2020 @ 6:38 pm

  10. They are pedaling how every they like. Its a shambles. Its causing way too much damage. The system needs mystery clients as set ups to check in activity of lawyers. Imposters, watch Dogs, actively being decoy clients. That will see that industry pull its socks up.

    Family Court is not the place for parenting issues. Its high level litigation combat. Why the gell fluid my directions by a Judge state he was not impressed by too muc playing, as if civil litigation.

    Because counsels ramped it up at any opportunity to get more fees. Ahaibst Duty if care to act concillitory. That is not what is going on. Time for secret shoppers implanted in the lawyers office as if real cases.

    Imposters to clean up the industry. Caught out the BS bad service, the streched out services, the unnecessary over charged work. The day that happens is tgecday the free wheeling over charging may settle down.

    Lawyers are not informing clients as per cConsumer Law. Theres a serious problem. Anyone who can out it please lift the lid on it.

    Comment by to JustCurious I discovered all Lawyers acted inept at multiple stages across a wide range. Yet charged such huge fees. No regulation. — Tue 24th November 2020 @ 8:42 pm

  11. Some wisdom.

    I have on occasion experienced the best day and worst day at the same time.
    Or the worst moment and best moment at the same time.

    I was in a relationship with a girl.
    Without doubt the love of my life at the time.
    Even our meeting was love at first sight.
    I did not care when I discovered she was pregnant, or she that I was a father.
    She was so joyful about life ahead of her, and I was lost.
    Having left a nightmare of a relationship, and loneliness alone for some time.
    She gave me hope.
    But it was not to last.
    I was involved in sport at the time called Tug of War.
    NZ is the only nation doing the sport so the best is to represent the North Island, or South Island.
    The Nationals was in Hastings and I was selected for the North Island team.
    Easily my highest and proudest achievement in sport.
    We had traveled in my car there and 10 minutes before the test she came to me.
    She wanted to leave as her desire to see the father of her child was too great.
    As he lived nearby.
    So the competition began.
    The crowd was cheering as we won but it was filled with sadness for me.
    I knew I had lost her and she would not return.
    She didn’t, not even to return my car.
    I returned home with friends alone.

    Another was with my son who was visiting me.
    It was Christmas Day.
    The house was near the beach and we were fishing.
    Then one of the most amazing things happened.
    The sea was light and a pod of Orca was swimming by.
    So close it was the greatest present I had ever had.
    My son only 4 was mesmerised by them
    Then a voice came to me, unexpected, unplanned.
    My sons mother had come to take him away.
    I couldn’t watch the Orca anymore.
    Just my son as he left.

    The lesson I learnt was suffering.
    Life is suffering.
    My partner just turned on the song of her name.
    Randomly for fate to punish me, Joelene.
    But hidden in the suffering is those good things.
    That moment of love at first sight.
    The look in my sons eyes as he saw Orca just meters from him.
    Those I cannot forget.
    I can accept the bad things, as they were not mine.
    She left to see the father of the child.
    I should not interfere.
    She arrived to see her child on Christmas.
    I should not interfere.
    Yet I be the cause of suffering to others.

    I have found Joy again in my children.
    It is never missing in life, just hidden in the smallest of things.
    My son of 4 was shopping with his mother.
    He bought some toy cars, an obsession.
    He opened them, played a little.
    But saw his mother wrapping a present for the tree.
    This must be wrapped he demanded.
    Who’s present should it be then.
    It is for me.
    Who shall it be from, his mother asked.
    It is from me.
    So the present was wrapped and put under the tree.

    He will forget about the present as he is young.
    But I know I will be watching.
    The thing I look forward to the most this Christmas.
    To see the look on his face as he opens it.
    To see that moment of Joy.
    As he remembers.
    It’s like he played a magic trick on himself.
    You cannot open something twice, but he found a way.

    Even if fate makes me suffer and I never see it.
    I have felt it’s joy already.
    I have hope.

    Best wishes for Christmas people.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Thu 3rd December 2020 @ 9:12 pm

  12. “Merry Christmas”, Mister DJ Ward… Our Son still living with us, so we still live his pain with him as he waits for the scraps of family,, but at least the heart of Christmas will allow him some real time with his Daughter this year, the first in many, she is now ten years old, it will be so nice, have a great time…. and yes Merry Christmas to all, X.

    Comment by mama — Sat 5th December 2020 @ 10:55 am

  13. While looking for online support resources for men separating from their spouses, I came across the following comment: ‘‘You never really know the woman you married until you meet her in the Family Court’’.

    While this comment evoked a wry smile, in retrospect I had missed all the warning signs that my ex-partner had been planning my downfall for many months. She had been looking me in the eye and lying in order to maintain a masquerade formed with her brother and mother. Two people that my ex-partner had sought support from me for their abuse and two people whom I supported as recently as a few months before the separation. Not once did I ever think my ex-partner would turn on me like I had seen her turn on others over the years.

    As I stumble through the Family Court system, I realize that all I will ever have is an impression of Justice. NZ has a terrible Domestic Violence record. These are often high-lighted in the media and men are the predominant aggressors. The Protection order process is there to ensure the lives of women and children are not in danger. However, the protective process that ensues is indiscriminate. Fathers are removed from the lives of their children purely on allegations. Often there is no definitive re-unification timeline.

    King hit by multiple Court Orders, I was instantly alienated from my children. I had to quickly pack my life into two suitcases and leave my family home. As I packed, IRD called to advise my child support responsibilities. Dazed and confused, I left my weeping father and stepmother, guilty without a trial and with nowhere to go.

    I drove to my mother’s grave and began to read the large bundle of Court documents. My heart raced, time slowed to a crawl. I didn’t know the person who I was reading about. I had been nullified as a husband and a parent. All I was good for was my earning capacity.

    The words became weapons as they passed before my eyes. Personally, professionally and financially, I was being hung, drawn and quartered.

    In a state of shock, I find myself alone. There is no support when you are the target. Reality sets in and I become an echo chamber for pain. Through the depths of despair, I somehow manage to navigate the initial onslaught. Moving between temporary hotels, I find a lawyer and eventually a room to live in. I have no idea what is going to happen, how long things will take, but I stay alive climbing the walls of rock bottom grasping for hope.

    Each morning I wake up with the same pain that I had closed my eyes to. My soul looks below at my emancipated body, echoing the crucifixion my being has undergone. My soul hesitates for a way back into consciousness. It cautiously drifts above my body. Apprehensive of another day and the continued emotional assault of existing without my children.

    Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months. I wonder how much the children have grown? What they are thinking? What they have been told? But most of all, I wonder when my sentence will be over. I hold onto my children’s hugs from long ago, trying to remember how they felt. Wiping the tears from my eyes I hold it together for another day.

    When the sun sets each night, I wander outside and look towards where my children would be. I say goodnight and give them a kiss as if I were in their rooms. Somehow, I feel connected in the darkness, staring up at the stars that are shining down on them.

    I have no room for hate or anger. Just equal amounts of sadness and grief. My mind is conflicted with a profound sense of uncertainty mixed in with hope and love for my children. I am haunted by her brother’s comment that plays in my head like a broken record: ‘sometimes suicide is the best outcome for everyone’. I wrestle with these 8 words as if I am being pulled into a blackhole. I desperately try to resist the pull of gravity realizing that time is my foe. I fight to stay in orbit and urge myself not to give up. Not to leave my children.

    I have confided in only one person. Otherwise I have been alone throughout this process. I do not bother telling others how I feel or what I am going through. How could they comprehend a life where even your soul does not want to stay? There are no words to express the agony of having to turn about face to avoid crossing paths with your children. Every cell in my body cries out in pain.

    My only comfort is that I have walked with integrity since my world caved in. I have not fallen for the provocation or hostility directed at me. I have not compromised my broken soul. I have kept my faith when I have been accused of having none. The pain I feel reminds me of this. And although I have been all but erased from my children’s lives, I was never the person that I had read about all those months ago.

    As winter turns to spring and spring to summer, time does not heal the pain. Instead, time plays with your mind. Time magnifies the pain. In this sanctioned purgatory I reflect on who I was, who I am and who I want to be. There is no doubt I could have been a better husband and father. I am guilty of not always being present. I felt trapped, stuck in a rut employment wise. I missed my family when I was away and grew fatigued with the hours I worked. Without realizing it, I had become depressed. My life was out of balance and I could not break myself out of the sadness and sense of failure I was feeling.

    While I do not agree with many of the allegations raised against me, the deep set feeling of failure manifested itself as anger for those closest to me. I was never physically violent towards my ex-partner and children, but there were occasions where my communication, demeanor and actions were unacceptable. Trapped in my own inner turmoil, I had not considered the affect I was having on my family.

    My failure to address how I was feeling is not unique. We all go through difficulties in life. We all commit Family Violence in some way. It is not until the roof of a home is lifted up by an ex-partner’s allegations, allowing the Family Court to peer inside, that relationship problems come under the spotlight. I would hazard a guess that almost every man and woman would face domestic violence allegations if the roofs of all homes were transparent. Whether the accused disagrees or feels the allegations are exaggerated is moot. The only way to move forward is to accept full responsibility, blame no one and let go of regret.

    I became aware of how my anger was being projected through the Man Alive non-violence programme. Anger is an emotion we all have and when out of control it turns into a violent action. Violence actions are not only physical. Anger can turn violent in the way you speak or even the way you look at someone. I own and take full responsibility for my mistakes. There are no excuses to try and minimise actions, including how I was feeling inside. I am responsible for creating the reality I live in.

    For the record, Man Alive is a very special place. It’s a pity there is no equivalent Woman Alive programme. Living in a non-violent way is not just a family issue – it applies to all our daily interactions with all people. The irony for me was experiencing the violent behaviour from my ex-partner towards myself and my Parents after I was served the Protection Order. This type of hostility is not unique to my case, it appears the Protection Order is often abused.

    Sifting through the wreckage that is my life, the only thing I wanted to salvage is delayed within the Family Court. I cannot stop thinking about life without my children. I try to gain perspective in knowing many other men have been where I am now. But any solace is short-lived. The process of erasing me from my children’s lives began 5 months ago and it appears that the only people who want me to see my children is… me and my children. I hold little hope to see them again this year. That’s all I wanted. With a breath of kindness, I would have blown all else away.

    Merry Xmas one an all – roll on 2021

    Comment by ErasingDad — Sat 5th December 2020 @ 11:10 am

  14. In reading ErasingDad.

    I found myself, as you stated.
    In those places that you described.
    They are not nice places to be.
    You are right to have sought help.
    It is good you feel positive about the future.
    It can be like a brick wall that blocks your path.
    But did not see coming.
    You will however feel life getting over the wall.
    You feel free on the other side.

    I am doing a clean out of things I have hoarded.
    Holding on to memories.
    I had a moment of clarity and felt content.
    It is the best of feelings.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Sat 5th December 2020 @ 11:42 am

  15. @DJ Ward. You words are wise. I hold onto my memories too.

    When the pain and anxiety become too much, sometimes my tears have no where to go. I will then find some photos of my children and sit in this sadness for a little while. The sadness builds and suddenly the tears start flowing. It is a great release and I able to move again and continue on through another day.

    Comment by ErasingDad — Sat 5th December 2020 @ 12:09 pm

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