MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

Parental Alienation – The grown child’s view.

Filed under: General — Lukenz @ 9:14 am Fri 14th April 2023

Mothers do it for property, accommodation, income, resentment and spite. Fathers are the falsely persecuted, children are the victims. But it doesn’t end there. That is just the beginning of a lifetime of suffering for father and child.

This clip is of a man who found out he was cheated out of a childhood without his dad. He thought his dad was the enemy. A very bad person. Someone not to be trusted. Not to have any contact with. The alienation was not only with child but mutual friends, family and school teachers.

As time allowed, eventually this child regained his relationship with his dad.

But it does not always end in the way it did for this father child relationship. Seeing his children from a distance. His child, children being raised by another. Stolen assets, his belongings and drained of his ongoing income. No decent place to live. Death by their own hand often takes the father and sometimes the child.

Now we have a huge number of fatherless children and all the problems that lead on from that. Poverty, homelessness, serious youth crime, drugs, gangs and mental health. Mental health is the politically correct way of saying suicide or thoughts of.

What sort of society legislates this to happen? Our elected New Zealand politicians do, and they have been doing it for decades.


  1. It’s such a hard problem, due to its nature.
    The false complaints, look and sound like real ones.
    How can you not act, on a real complaint.
    Inherently the false complaints, are treated as real.
    They make a story, that even the child believes.

    It’s not gendered, as men can be offenders.
    You should have controlling people, be alienators.
    How successful are women offenders, vs male offenders.
    Dishonesty as a strategy, more effective for women.

    Exaggeration also effective, good can be made to look bad.
    The male defending himself, becomes him being violent.
    Changing nappies, becomes a child sex crime.
    The argument about her wrongs, psychological abuse.
    Drunk or initiating sex, presented as sexual abuse.

    The female alienator, has all the services they need.

    The problem is dishonesty, as it’s effectively legal.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Sun 16th April 2023 @ 12:03 am

  2. I know from experience, that it does happen.

    Picking my son up, her with a few friends visiting.
    They looked at me, like I was just dirt.

    Her family with a joke, about an event.
    Her chasing me with a knife, now an amusing story.

    And breaking my heart, my son taught I was violent.
    Confronting me, in a moment of anger.

    So it happens, I am just an example of normal.
    Each persons story, different but equally wrong.
    Alienation may be normal, always presenting in some way.
    Like a scale from petty things, to the extreme false accusation.

    So where is the crossing the line, to be an alienator.
    The crown with a standard, that identifies offenders.
    Male offending types punished, but not female types.
    Female offender types actually supported, male victims ignored.

    Logic dictates, that you can’t stop normal behaviour.
    Your only option, is to prevent the outcome.
    The outcome is winning, getting full custody.
    To prevent that outcome, 50:50 must be normal.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Sun 16th April 2023 @ 11:17 am

  3. That looks very much like RCR advertising – is that where it came from?

    RCR meaning

    Comment by Downunder — Tue 18th April 2023 @ 11:14 am

  4. I listen to a few stations, in my car and shed.
    In the past, I would listen to talkback.
    So hardly listened to music, most of life.
    But in recent years, it’s all music stations.
    Preferably older music, matching my age.
    Over the Bombay hill, you need a station change.

    Unlike with the talkback, I get inspired by music.
    Somehow music, is like arguments.
    A story, an outcome.
    Music has more of the good stories, good emotions.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Tue 18th April 2023 @ 7:29 pm

  5. It appears to me that their is systemic structural bias within the states welfare, tax and legal aid settings that disadvantages men and incentivises woman when coupled with societal unconscious bias that pre-presumes maternity primacy in child care. This expresses in supporting a first mover advantage that is seriously prejudicial to aspiring fathers. Reform is a long way away but worth advocating for.

    Comment by James — Mon 12th June 2023 @ 10:18 am

  6. The world is a funny place, because bias does exist.
    Mothers not removed from children, in DV events an example.
    The male is far more likely, to get removed from the home.
    And I don’t think that bias, is going to be stopped.

    Once you look at the statistics for DV, should we still see bias.
    Because if we judged everything, women are just as bad as men.
    It’s not who’s offending, it’s what we are judging.
    And more importantly, the services that are provided.

    If a man cannot leave, an abusive relationship.
    Is it better we just wait, for the bad ending.
    If a woman is leaving, an industry is there to help.
    Where is the men’s refuge, there to help the male leaving.

    What do we do, some accommodation provider details for the male.
    Here you must leave, even if it’s living in the car.
    Our bias is guaranteed parenting for one, but not the other.
    Society does nothing, supporting the father in real ways.

    Do they set him up, in a child suitable home.
    Is the court papers sorted, trying to get 50/50.
    What happened, geez she committed some crimes.
    It’s against your gynocentric nature to prosecute, but that can be judged.

    Actually providing services, for relationships ending is new.
    The police are changing, as lessons get learnt.
    Once there was no service, and males automatically got arrested.
    I can’t say things have not improved, because they have.

    The bias will not end, society pretends it doesn’t happen.
    How does it reconcile decades of men are violent, and the truth.
    Can it come to terms, with female sexual offending.
    Can it make the father, the same as the mother.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Mon 12th June 2023 @ 7:18 pm

  7. DJ Ward, do you have just one child yourself and was it from an uncommitted relationship? Have you ever been an active parent

    Comment by Harold — Tue 13th June 2023 @ 5:53 pm

  8. I just ran my two kids tonight’s bath, so parenting now.
    A very bright girl aged 9, and boy aged 7.
    Not married but two decades together, so I guess committed.
    And also a now adult child, that I didn’t get to parent.
    I also have been a stepfather, and boarder in a family.
    I was only 19 becoming a parent, getting custody of my brother.

    As the other parent, I’ve experienced parental alienation.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Tue 13th June 2023 @ 7:41 pm

  9. As a woman I’ve had false allegations made against me & my child was coerced to talk to Police.

    My other child wrote a statement that it didn’t happen & what a horrible awful conversation to have with a kid, when kids should just be able to love both parents.

    Nothing did come of it, the police said I just need to keep countering his allegations with the truth. I don’t see my child often as he said this child never wanted to see me again in a Court affidavit (this child has shared with me since they knew nothing of this being said).

    They said he will be making a name for himself within the systems he utilizes in attempt to defame my character.

    With ungrounded allegations & conversations with investigators from My MSD they are surprised I have the will power to still live in NZ and still see my kids. He uses every tentacle available to try to eradicate my wellbeing, yet he’s remarried with a nice wife.

    I couldn’t have a relationship with a man as this would leave him especially vulnerable.
    I feel it’s easier for me as a Mum to clear allegations that a man who found him self in a step-father role with an embittered ex-husband.

    It’s a distressing situation, I live half a life & I think false accusations should be charged.

    This is only the official channels used. There’s also smear campaigns with other people, schools, school community, etc.

    But then it’s spun around where he is the victim. I declined a Protection Order when relationship ended as I felt it would further severe the family, yet he continues his tirade as a parental allienator & vexatious litigant.

    We need some type of documentation where it protects people from people who manipulate the spirit of the law.

    When he first left me he wrote a letter saying “you are such a great mother, probably too good”.

    Psychological abuse involving a young person to discard their mother, what does that teach a young person?

    How will my child continue to carry the values of honesty & transparency I worked so hard to install.

    Comment by Julie — Tue 20th February 2024 @ 8:04 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

Please note that comments which do not conform with the rules of this site are likely to be removed. They should be on-topic for the page they are on. Discussions about moderation are specifically forbidden. All spam will be deleted within a few hours and blacklisted on the stopforumspam database.

This site is cached. Comments will not appear immediately unless you are logged in. Please do not make multiple attempts.

Skip to toolbar