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MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

Sat 28th November 2009

advice reqd: fathers who have won custody of a child.

Filed under: General — mother love @ 10:42 pm

before my husband and i enter the fc AGAIN we need all the advice and support from any of the fathers out there who have won custody of their child/ren or maybe in the process of. ARE THERE ANY ??

I am the step-mother of boy 11 and girl 13, our plight started in 2005 with supervised then unsupervised day contact only, then moving into fortnight contact and half of all the school holidays.shared care is not possible being that ex lives in another town.hubby and i have had to fight all the way just to get contact and maintain it. throughout this, the mother has made it increasingly difficult (to say the least) to maintain a relationship with the kids. the ongoing brainwashing, manipulation and parental alienation is mind-boggling. as a mother of 6 (and happily going through contact with my ex for 6yrs) also raised a “whangai” and two  nephew’s  im disgusted that this female uses her own children as pawns, to voice her issues and hang-ups she has towards my husband. hubby separated from his ex in 2002 she left with the kids to another town. my husband and i met in 2003, he had not seen his children, we had a child in 2005 and 6 months later finally supervised contact took place, another battle took place in court to move into unsupervised contact “day contact” and yes! another battle, to move toward fortnight contact and half the holidays, hubby and i won them all but was it a fight! fortnight contact started in 2006.
things went along swimingly for 6 months. feb 2007 hubby and i made it legal and married ex was furious and problems occurred. ex was shacked up with partner and had been since 2006 but vigorously denied it ??? dont know why, maybe it was because she was in receipt of dpb and boyfriend had own home (of which they were living in) and own business, not to mention she has legal aid. Nov 2008 ex wants contact to cease,another court battle affidavits flying all over the show, a year passes and finally we had a date, last week, we received the judges decision “we won” yayy… contact remains!!
umm no sorry- lawyer for children has been instructed by boy 11 to appeal decision…wtf

without sounding like something out of the days of our lives i’ll leave it there. hubby and i are seriously contemplating challenging the mother for custody of boy 11 in order for us to do this we will need all the help we can get- this is unfamiliar territory to us and although we are confident our lawyer will do all she can, we feel we need to know first hand accounts of what we will be getting ourselves into.
i am thinking our main argument to be “phycological damage caused by the mother to the child” also the children have never had the chance to form a strong relationship with their father, the mother being the main hindrance for it, we believe the longer boy 11 stays in her care, runs a risk of more damage being done to him mentally.

i must send a great big thankyou to “FATHERS OF NZ” without their advice, which i followed to the letter we would not of otherwise had a favorable outcome this time around. …thanks menz issue for making the link accessible.

Sun 22nd November 2009

March for Democracy

Filed under: General — Julie @ 11:40 pm

An estimated crowd of more than 4000 packed Auckland’s Queen St yesterday to protest against the Government’s refusal to back a citizen-initiated referenda over the so-called anti-smacking law where 87% of people’s vote was ignored by the government.

It was a great atmosphere with drummers, parents with children, and placards.

Colin Craig, who funded the march which cost several hundred thousands of dollars said, “We’ve made a brilliant start and I’m waiting for the next step,”

The placards slogans said “Warning: Police State” and “We’ve been 2 Hell ‘n’ Clark” and the people chanted messages such as “John Key listen to me, we want democracy.”

Among the speakers was Act Party MP John Boscawen. “It’s a huge crowd, it’s fantastic,” he said.

He said Prime Minister John Key was “not listening to 1.4 million people”, and said he ignored them “at his peril”.

Former Green MP Sue Bradford, who drafted the original bill, said future New Zealand societies would look back in amazement at people marching for the right to hit their children.

She was not surprised by the turnout because of the money spent on it. But she said the money would have been better spent elsewhere.

A spokeswoman for Key said the law would be changed if it was not working. “We have seen no evidence it is criminalising good parents,” she said.


Sat 21st November 2009

Showing Your own Documents to your McKenzie Friend?

Filed under: General — MurrayBacon @ 7:39 pm

Does Self Represented Litigant Need Judge’s Permission to show his own documents to his McKenzie Friend?

In England, the familycaught is quite a lot more formal and restrictive on allowing families to solve problems at a reasonable cost. Most UK lawyers milk their clients much harder than most NZ lawyers. Some NZ lawyers equal the very worst of UK lawyers, when it comes to bleeding their own customer dry.

England and Wales Court of Appeal (Civil Division) Decisions

UK judges vary a great deal, in their willingness to allow self represented litigants to have a McKenzie Friend in court, to assist them. Similarly in NZ, judges vary considerably. Before contemplating any caught action, find out who the local “judges” are and what their idiosyncracies are and whether these are likely to affect your case.

The following judgement does bring out the issues quite well. It is sobering reading:

Neutral Citation Number: [2005] EWCA Civ 759
Case No: B4/2004/2341&2693, B4/2005/0341

Battered husband who snapped

Filed under: Domestic Violence,General — Julie @ 12:13 am

Journalist AN MUNRO over at stuff.co.nz has written an very sad and detailed article about Anthony Sherna killing his partner after suffering years of abuse and being sentenced to 14 years in jail.

For almost 20 years he submitted in order to keep the peace. When she demanded he change his surname to prove he loved her, he agreed.

When she insisted he not see his friends or family, he complied. When she taunted him by resuming an affair with a former boyfriend and suggested he ”grow some balls”, he swallowed the insults.

When she said he was too smelly to use the toilet at home, he restrained himself until he arrived at work. When she refused to let him sleep in their double bed, he dossed down in the spare room on a camp stretcher.

He was sole breadwinner but she rationed his cigarettes – just 12 each day – and controlled their money. Each week after withdrawing the housekeeping money he handed over the cash, his ATM card and receipts.

It is shocking that he was sentenced to prison when he is a domestic violence victim and she a controlling abuser. If it had been the other way around and he was a she, he would have gained sympathy and walked free.

She is what is known as a narcissist and over at mensnewsdaily, they have Dr. Tara J. Palmatier writing articles about this type of women and the abuse men go through. She writes:

Fri 20th November 2009

The sad ignorance of some comments

Filed under: General,Law & Courts,Sex Abuse / CYF — Julie @ 6:42 pm

I wrote a post about the UK men’s movement and how men (mostly young men) are speaking up and starting to ask for rights. Men never had any rights. They were also oppressed in society as women were and the gender roles did them no more favours than it did women.

They are not asking for the world or for women to be discriminated against but instead are asking for equality. Something that feminism is based on.
This is in reply to one of the comments. I thought it more appropriate to make it a thread of it’s own rather than turn the comments about the UK men’s movement into a New Zealand thread.

The commenter said:

I want men who are accused rapists to be forced to take the stand and be asked questions to ascertain their characters just as the rape survivor is forced to.


The rape industry claims another victim – Kevin Driscoll’s story

Filed under: General,Law & Courts,Sex Abuse / CYF — Julie @ 4:14 pm

There’s an interesting rape case being followed on the Internet. It involves an alleged rapist named Kevin Driscoll and an alleged rape victim named Melissa Leahy-Rossow. It’s a very sad reality that many, many young men go through while the rape industry continuously pushes for males to have harsher treatment and women to have lighter treatment by police and the judiciary court system.

On January 23rd 2009 Kevin Driscoll and his friend were out having drinks at a bar where they met Melissa Leahy-Rossow and her acquaintance Dennis Baker. Kevin invited them to his house where other guests also joined them.

On the night in question Melissa Leahy-Rossow had sex with Dennis and Kevin, separately at Kevin’s house. There would have been a third man except Dennis wasn’t interested in having a threesome. Dennis reported that Melissa sought three-way sexual intercourse in the hot tub with both himself and another man who was present, but that he would not agree to this, and that Melissa became angry at his refusal. He also gave her a hooded sweatshirt to wear because she wasn’t interested in wearing her own clothes.

Kevin reports that when he went to bed Melissa was already in his bed and wanted to have sex with him and he consented. This sex was reported by Melissa to be long lasting and extremely brutal where bruises and bites were left on her body as a result. She also said she ran to the door and tried to get out but he wouldn’t let her.

She said this happened at around 1.30am and that after the rape Kevin drove her to her car. The actual reality is that Kevin and Melissa had sex in the bedroom at 1.30am with the guests still in the house and the last left a 4.30am and Kevin drove Melissa to her car at 7.30am where they chatted for a while and Kevin gave Melissa his phone number.

The reason a lot of information is known is because there were security cameras at Kevin’s home and at the bar where Melissa’s car was left but this was something the police were not aware of at the time they arrested Kevin.

Dennis’s In Bed Story – The Sex Tape

Filed under: General — JohnPotter @ 12:48 pm

This is a sponsored post.

I can’t quite figure out why their client is prepared to pay for this, or even what we are being “sold” – perhaps the message is just too subtle for me?

Anyway, it seems harmless, and contributions to hosting costs for MENZ are always welcome.


Thu 19th November 2009

Judge Boshier links suicides to family break-ups

Filed under: Domestic Violence,Law & Courts,Men's Health — MurrayBacon @ 1:15 pm

By Simon Collins
4:00 AM Thursday Nov 19, 2009
NZ Herald

A top judge has called for more mental health support for people involved in Family Court cases after finding 18 suspected suicides by people involved in the court in the 13 months to June.

Principal Family Court Judge Peter Boshier, in a speech to be delivered in Blenheim this morning, also proposes a new specialist agency to refer victims and offenders in domestic violence cases to counselling and to chase up offenders who drop out of programmes.


Men’s movement in the UK

Filed under: General,Law & Courts,Sex Abuse / CYF — Julie @ 12:00 am

UK males are speaking up well on the biased treatment through feminists and their supporters. They have become such a loud voice that the media has been attacked persistently and consistently by large numbers of them, forcing the media to open ‘Pandora’s box’ and speak up about the abuse males receive from females. The greatest attack has been around sexual false rape allegations from women.

In 2000 police and criminologists were developing a “lie-detector” test to help uncover false allegations of rape.

In the new test, a claimant’s statement is analysed and points are given from a list of set clues – people who have made up a rape allegation get a low score, while genuine complaints get a high score.

Using this technique in two studies, police officers and researchers had a success rate of between 72 and 100 per cent in identifying genuine rape victims from liars. All the cases were real-life examples selected because of the existence of strong evidence, such as closed-circuit television footage, to prove the defendants’ guilt or innocence.

The two pieces of research indicate that police officers who rely on their detective skills and intuition when examining a statement by an alleged rape victim are no better than a member of the public at identifying a genuine complainant from a false one.


Tue 17th November 2009

Father’s Support Groups

Filed under: General — Julie @ 12:54 am

Often groups are asked by fathers if there are father’s supports groups they can be referred to. I thought I would make a list of what is available online and offline and will add as I find more.

I needed to find one myself for the Nelson area and came across DIY’s list and have added a few more. If you can add any groups preferably in New Zealand that will be well appreciated.


North Shore Fathers
Thursdays 9:30 am: Fathers and Family, Wednesdays 7pm: Fathers and Male Supporters, Every 3rd Saturday of the month 2pm: Family Barbecue at: Birkdale Community House, 134 Birkdale Rd., North Shore City
Contact Craig Davis

Father and Child Mauri Ora Father’s Circle
Mauri Ora Father’s group every Wednesday 7-9pm, at the Onehunga Community Centre, (next to the library), 83 Church Street, Onehunga, Auckland. We hope to see new faces, plus any local father advocates keen to contribute to the new Auckland committee. Children are welcome although we do leave them with the TV and a tin of biscuits!
Contact Brendon Smith or phone 525 1690

East Auckland Refuge for Men and Families
Contact Paul Catton or phone 271 3020

Mon 16th November 2009

To Men and Women who support this site

Filed under: General — sonnyking @ 2:37 pm

Men and Women who support this site and what it stands for, must step up to the mark and tell the FC, lawyers and report writers, that we are united and we are not taking this lying down for one minute longer.

It happened this morning while standing in Whangarei Warehouse. My 11 year old stepson rung his sister on her cell phone and said that there were two cars outside waiting to take him away.

His mother knew this was happening and allowed it to happen by giving the people taking him permission.

The child was in total despair crying that these people have come to take him away.

What the FC have done is illegal.
No forms have been signed by the father, The Care and Protection coordinator said he had to sign to allow this to happen, and the father has interim custody.

We don’t know where he is, who he is with, and what state he is in.

The Care and Protection coordinator doesn’t have any information.

The C4C is Christina Cook, she is the cause of this, and the one who has activated for this to happen and one to keep away from.

How the hell do they justify what they have just done to this boy.
How is he feeling.
He’s been abused emotionally and physically for 6 years and has now been taken to strangers.

The FC can go and get xxxxxxxx

Thu 12th November 2009

Feminism is the Key to “Making of a Slave”

Filed under: General — Julie @ 12:23 am

I have for some time focused on conspiracy theories but I have started to just see them as ‘history and the present’ coming together. Through my own interest to understand how the world works I have spoken with many people in New Zealand about past events and I’ve got to say, “We have very interesting people in this country with vast amounts of knowledge”.

Anyways, I am hoping readers are aware that in society there are men at the top and men at the bottom and lots of men in between and that the hierarchy is like a pyramid with a vast amount in the middle to low class and a small amount at the top. And I am hoping readers are aware how men fought for the right to vote and how men formed workers unions (NZ union history) and why they did this. *they took on the elite, the superpowers* And also how some men have so much power they can create wars and have been able to send millions of men to war where millions of men have sacrificed their lives. Men in the middle to low class have been disposable in a great number to an elite class of men.

The hierarchy in it’s raw form basically all comes down to sex and just like the animal kingdom the fittest and strongest gets to procreate with the females. Yet being humans, men have been on a journey to break the chains of class, slavery and being disposable and yet, the powerful have gotten more powerful while the vast majority of men are still unable to turn their vast power of numbers into something even more powerful.

And then I hope readers are aware of the misandry in today’s society.

Now that all that is out the way I want to share something with you and listen to what you think.

Past methods of enslavement were highly sophisticated, and closely resemble modern feminist social engineering.

Tue 10th November 2009

Words in Passing.

Filed under: General — amfortas @ 10:46 pm

Words in Passing

By Amfortas

We were not ready.
We were distracted.
Battle had taken its toll
But the Family survived.
The children played.

Malevolent Smile.
She was Ready.
Definite. Ordered.
The Blue Pencil, poised,
re-defined the land,
The familiar, the family, the Form.

Thu 5th November 2009

Please any advise

Filed under: General — sonnyking @ 12:50 pm

We have done all we can to try and prevent the outcome of which is probably going to happen in the next couple of months.

Can the FC uplift a child from the day to day carer, who is agreeable with the uplift, and put the child in a foster home when the other parent, who has interim custody and access disagrees. The parent (father) with interim custody has never been given day to day care and has never been given a valid reason as to why, except for being accused of causing problems by having a custody application in the FC because the day to day carer is abusing the child.

Reading the CYFAct  following the S19 they have not followed procedures and have slipped under and through the sections.

Other than publishing in the National papers and going to the High Court, which we are in the process of doing, what else can be done?

Tue 3rd November 2009

Treating non-abductor as though they were the abductor France

Filed under: General — MurrayBacon @ 10:36 am

This extract shows the experience of being the left behind parent AND being treated as an abductor by a foreign court, to protect the abducting parent from re-abduction.

The guilty party is treated as innocent, the not guilty party is treated as guilty.

This backwards ethics results from the lack of cohesiveness between countries legal systems, combined with the greed of legal workers in all countries. These legal-workers are easily deceived and also willing to be deceived, especially when it lines their pockets.

Robin also shows how fathers refusal to enforce their “right” to protect their relationship with their children, allows and encourages personality disordered mothers (and unfortunately some fathers too 15%) to take these bizarre and destructive actions. The problem isn’t just the “judges”.

Would a good liar ever be a good solo parent?

In the book, Robin compares other people’s experiences to her own son’s. This extract collects together her son’s experiences.

Taken In Contempt
By Robin Bowles.

This book is dedicated to my grandson, who is growing up in France, and to his father, who has joined him in exile.

ISBN 0 7329 1101 X.

1. Missing children – Australia. 2. Kidnapping, Parental – Australia. I. Title. 362.82970994

Who can imagine the shock of returning home from an unremarkable day at work to discover your partner has left you and taken your child or children?

To be suddenly and unexpectedly facing the possibility that you will never see your family again?

On 11 March 1999 it happened to Robin Bowles’ son – his child illegally abducted to France by the French-born mother.

This is not an isolated incident – over 90 cases a year are reported in Australia.

Taken in Contempt is the extraordinary account of Robin’s family’s own loss woven together with the stories of other parents of abducted children. it is full of heartbreak, danger and adventure, yet it is also a record of courage and inner strength, and of the crazy, fife-threatening risks people take in the name of love.

Left-behind parents, abducting parents and some of the children themselves have contributed to the book; so have the bureaucrats who have to implement the tough decisions; and the retrievers – men who work outside the law, risking all for someone else’s children.

Fearlessly exploring every side of this complex moral issue, Taken in Contempt is moving, fascinating and utterly compelling.

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