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The toothpaste woman escapes with the loot.

Filed under: Domestic Violence,General,Law & Courts — anon @ 3:53 pm Thu 15th January 2015

I refer back to the first post I made 9 months ago back in may 2014 entitled Toothpaste accomplice. I had omitted in the post the fact that the woman had told me she was six weeks pregnant the week earlier. Months later police called me in to tell me “there is no baby”.

So I’ve lived for the past nine months accused of savagely and brutally repeatedly, assaulting a pregnant woman.

On Monday I finally got my day in court and I was well prepared with a defended hearing. Perhaps unsurprisingly the “victim” failed to front and the case was instantly dismissed as police offered no evidence. I went to my former home to find out she(and my belongings) had shot out of dodge many months ago.

My lawyer tells me I should be pleased that when filling out forms I can still tick the box that says “no criminal convictions”. Hooray. …

But I miss out on the opportunity to listen to her up on stage lying her ass off trying to explain that she had just been savagely beaten yet had no injuries no bruises and was in no pain.

I asked my lawyer if a defamation application is appropriate.

He said no. That I should try not to be ” bitter”. He also said don’t bother complaining to police complaints authority.

But I’m not bitter. I am absolutely livid.

Thank you to those who have given advice especially when I had been attacked and accused and didn’t know what to to. Its been a harrowing nine months.

I am very grateful that this site exists and I’m sure my late father who I miss so dearly would also thank you men (and women) who have helped me.


  1. We [I am sure] are so glad that at last things have started to work out for you. It is the totally innocent who suffer the most from unjust/untrue allegations. Who would blame you for feeling livid and angry? It will take time for you to get back to more or less normal. Keep up with the friends you have made at least now the whole world can know you are innocent.

    I have also gone through a similar unjust accusation thus I can totally understand the way you feel. Life will get brighter for you. My best advice came from the Mayor of our town. Our Mayor was voted one of the top ten most respected men in NZ. His advice I am sorry to say was the same as that of your lawyer don’t bother about defamation or IPCA, don’t think of revenge you are much better than that. I would love to buy you a drink at the Runanga working men’s club if you ever come west. Thank you for your account.

    Comment by Andrew McCarthy — Thu 15th January 2015 @ 4:54 pm

  2. Did you put in a complaint to the police re stuff she stole? If not, might not be too late given the court case was pending.

    Did you have costs related to the court case? If so you and you contact her to ask for reimbursement, assuming it doesn’t happen, would that constitute a dispute under the Disputes Tribunal? If so, and it succeeds but compo is not paid, the debt can be placed with a credit agency. That can have quite far reaching effects.

    Comment by exactchange — Fri 16th January 2015 @ 12:09 pm

  3. dunnuffinwrong – I’m inclined to think that it would be best for your future psychological well-being if think to yourself: “whew, that was a narrow escape” , then MOVE ON as fast as possible. Assuming you don’t have kids with this woman.

    You will surely find a lawyer willing to pursue various legal actions and take tens of thousands of dollars off you in the process if you look seriously enough, but why prolong your distress any minute longer than you can avoid?

    Comment by JohnPotter — Fri 16th January 2015 @ 3:22 pm

  4. It’s just another reason to be weary of having anything to do with Kiwi women – they’ve become accustomed to doing whatever and getting away with it.

    That’s another thing I noticed in 2014 – in the media – there’s been a couple of extreme predator cases where it’s a female that has been given a name and shame by the media – but when you look at that behaviour being the extreme end, it’s no wonder there are men, especially young men now not interested in having anything to do with females (and it would be an insult to the word to call them women).

    I agree with John, if there are no children to be concerned about, and you would have to concerned for any child that had a mother like that, move on.

    You won’t forget, but don’t let the bitch dog your life anymore.

    But the story has been told – that’s equally important – the story has been told, and hopefully that encourages other men to get on the web and describe their experience.

    It’s good to get these glimpses of what’s going on, and some understanding of what’s happening to men rather than that being hidden behind angry comments which come out in response to posts that represent their positions.

    It gives a better understanding as to why that anger exists and where it comes from.

    Once again, I think we need to do much more to encourage authors.

    Comment by Downunder — Sat 17th January 2015 @ 12:16 pm

  5. Dear dunnuffinwrong, John’s advice is pragmatic, but it ignores the public interest.

    It is always best to first consider the pragmatic alternatives, as this is a good place to start.

    However, the ongoing existence of the abuse by domestic violence caught$ and familycaught$, is due to the vast majority of men lacking the resources necessary to consider protecting the public interest (in this case other innocent people who are charged).

    The police can consider laying charges of malicious complaint, or perjured evidence……

    So, being realistic, the only way that the public interest might be protected, would be for a wider group of men to support private prosecution for malicious complaint or perjured evidence.

    I saw one father spend $300,000 on his own, paying his barrista to privately prosecute his ex-wife for the most obvious of her perjuries. It got through the preliminary hearings. At the first District Caught full hearing, it was dismissed after 1 minute, as the barrista had not obtained permission from a familycaught$ judge to “publish” the evidence into District Caught. (I believe that the District Caught judge who made that decision, was herself a familycaught$ judge and could have signed it off herself, without even needing to make any sound in caught. Lady judge, lady defendant, sympathy?) Good try, but!

    Forward progress can only be made if men decide to work together.

    Legal cases such as private prosecutions should be checked by a barrista before caught, but should be run in caught by someone who doesn’t earn their living inside the caught$ system. The only way is for men to do the legal work themselves, so they can protect the case from being internally sabotaged, by those whose incomes depend on the unrestricted free reign of perjury.

    Don’t take “justice” too seriously, you are most likely to damage yourself.
    Respect the power of these caught$ to damage you.

    MurrayBacon – axe murderer.

    Comment by MurrayBacon — Wed 21st January 2015 @ 8:59 am

  6. Isn’t this is where the legal system has fallen apart?

    As I understand this role you talk of is that of the role of the barrister.

    That they maintain some independence, taking both paying and non paying cases.

    Equally equipped to plead any case regardless of whether it is owned by the rich or the poor.

    But two things have changed perhaps, barristers no longer feeling the need to address such circumstances as part of their profession, and the fear of the state, should the case they consider have a conflict of interest with that of the state, particularly the feminist state.

    Comment by Downunder — Wed 21st January 2015 @ 11:18 am

  7. Downunder I thought to be a good lawyer you needed to know your coffee pretty well.

    Comment by Allan Harvey — Wed 21st January 2015 @ 6:49 pm

  8. I wasn’t taking about lawyers, but specifically barristers, and perhaps the distance between justice and right, as the saying goes.

    Comment by Downunder — Thu 22nd January 2015 @ 5:57 am

  9. First of all, you are much safer with a barrista than barrister, especially financially. So I try to stay in the positive.

    I heard that mathematicians are machines for turning coffee into theorems (Godel if I recall correctly).

    I can’t imagine that barristers or lawyers or judges turn coffee into anything more valuable than urine? Farts maybe?

    As well as daily serving the public, look at the sharp end of creativity. Has a Nobel Prize ever been awarded to a lawyer of any sort? Obama got one in the pious hope that he might close Guantanamo Bay and sort out the legal mess that the USA military dictators have created. Other than that, I don’t believe that any lawyer has ever received a Nobel Prize? There is a reason…..

    Back on social safety, the claims by barristers of an independent bar, although potentially correct, these comments are only dishonest marketing drivel. The legal “profession” runs a tight ship based on mutual self interest (conflict of interest) against the public interest. This is also known as the “greasy pole”. (My apologies to prostitutes for using the word “professional”.)

    This is why there is practically no public criticism or even constructive debate about the quality of performance of judges, by legal workers.

    Paying versus nonpaying- again nice, touchy feely marketing drivel.

    If you were to evaluate the social value delivered, subtract the fees extracted, then almost all legal workers (lawyers, barristers and judges) would show up well South of arsonists, prostitutes, child abusers and other white collar criminals, in my opinion. (My apologies to prostitutes for including them in this list.)

    I dispute that the legal system has fallen apart. Maybe we are more aware of it now, but was it ever more particular about serving the public, than it is now? I think not.

    All of this conversation is so tedious and negative, that it does need to be leavened up with some dry at least humour, or truly nobody could read these things and stay alive.

    So I do try to follow your advice to include at least a little humour. Eg noting that judge green/clarkson married a psychiatrist “even if they slept with a psychiatrist”.

    Getting the legal profession to serve the public, will take a lot more than humour. I still favour hot lead and torture, in the ancient tradition.

    MurrayBacon – relentless, humourless axe murderer.

    Comment by MurrayBacon — Thu 22nd January 2015 @ 8:40 am

  10. Im glad for you that this is over…
    However, this particular woman has used the system to get her own needs met.. sick though they are. This WILL happen again. She is free to continue to carry on this nonsense with someone else as their have been NO negative associations with this process for her.
    Report her name with pic if you have one on the Voice For Men website for false accusers.
    Make sure it doesnt happen to someone else.

    Comment by Tin Tin — Fri 20th February 2015 @ 1:35 pm

  11. Then forget it..

    Comment by Tin Tin — Fri 20th February 2015 @ 1:36 pm

  12. I didn’t know about that page on voice for men…thanks.

    Comment by dunnuffinwrong — Fri 20th February 2015 @ 3:50 pm

  13. Thanks Fellas, more good advice but much of it I can’t take. It reminds me of the plaque on my grandmother windowsill that said ” don’t go away mad – just go away”.
    I finished and sent my complaint to the ipca and am waiting for their response.
    I consider it my duty to do so.
    No man should be put through what I went through. I survived it. But its not easy.
    I can’t imagine how those who have been falsely accused of rape or crimes against children would get through such a time. I had very good support and this made the difference. Those who have any less support would certainly be challenged not to take a baseball bat to even the score.
    After 50 hours imprisoned I was beginning to understand why they take our shoes away.
    I don’t harbour resentment towards women. My former partner has borderline personality disorder. There were many signs that I’d ignored as I didn’t realise just how dangerous a BPD in a preg-rage could be.
    Also I thought that a man with no previous accusations was given a chance to speak before being arrested when its know that he himself was attacked without cause or provocation.
    I was ignorant to the plight of men and as I’m a tradie I’d just left these issues in the capable hands of academics.
    David Cunliffe made his apology last year and its time I made mine.
    I’m sorry that it took for me to be accused before I realised the damage done each day by modern feminist ideoligy.
    It destroys family’s and incriminates men that are innocent.
    I was formerly a feminist myself of sorts.
    I believed in the empowerment of women and I was also a white night. Ignorant to the disaster that feminism bestows.

    When I first found this site I wasn’t convinced that feminism was such the demon. I went to women’s refuge and spoke with politicians and sought opinions to make my own mind up.
    I conclude that you guys were on the money and accurate and correct.
    I followed some of Karen Straughans clips and watched Paul Elam debating and I agree with them also.
    I am now a Mens rights advocate and I will support this cause wholeheartedly as it is paramount to Mens human rights and also civil society.
    I will be visible wearing my black ribbon on white ribbon day. I will continue to complain when Mens rights are ignored and I will compliment those who include men when discussing domestic violence victims.
    My phone alerts me to each new post on this site and I will do as you have and help others who are faced with similar injustices that I’ve been through.

    A short story if I may.

    A few years ago I lived in a culdesac in west Auckland. The house at the end had a party, invitations went viral and – nek minute – hundreds turned up. A bottle got thrown at a cop car and police pulled back waiting for reinforcements. A few more cop cars and a paddy waggon entered the scene.
    Police cleared the section and a crowd of 250 or so revellers remained in the centre of the road curious as to how these 15 or so police officers were going to disperse them.
    I cracked a coldie on my balcony wondering also.
    Ten minutes later the whole crowd was gone and the street was silent.
    What the police did was extremely impressive.
    They placed ten or so policewomen (without armour or weapons) in a line. The women moved forward together chanting “move back , ” move back”.
    The male officers followed behind the women and threatened the crowd with arrest. A couple of young guys and a couple of girls were arrested but the police tactic was sheer brilliance.
    Its effective because police know that men don’t hit women.
    They rely on this fact otherwise they would have needed many more police and likely would’ve arrested many more if it had been a row of men that were forcing the large crowd.
    Yet our police force are led to believe that huge numbers of men have their women at home chained to the fridge door and that we beat then up seven times for every one that complains.
    I hadn’t figured out why police are so strongly influenced by feminist logic or why the hell they would listen to them.
    Now I believe its because of past police injustices.
    Feminist victims advocates have incredible influence over police policy.
    Its actually blackmail.
    If police aren’t incriminating men and bringing them to court in large numbers they are accused of being ignorant to the needs of women\victims and according to feminists – Prison is where we belong.
    No evidence of a crime is required.
    Unless police do this with regularity they roll out statements to media from Loise Nichols ( whose name is synonimous with police crimes) or some other women with horrific stories.
    Just as police who are not guilty of rape crime are considered responsible for previous police crimes , police in turn are forced to charge men who are accused (without evidence) by a woman.
    Its blackmail and it needs to be exposed and it needs to stop.

    Comment by dunnuffinwrong — Sun 8th March 2015 @ 3:21 pm

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