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How to end suicide in NZ

Filed under: General — Lukenz @ 3:48 pm Wed 20th April 2022

Link – NZ Mental Abuse of a Prisoner

Link – Andrew Little hiding suicide deaths

Link – Nurit Zubery wrote a thesis on the impacts of men during and after divorce.

Link – IRD Disclose the number of deaths of the non-custodial parent

Link – Bipartisan approach to mental health off to bad start

It seems there is a strong force within the government to do all they can to hide suicides. Mental health is the newer term for people who end their lives due to the situation they were placed.

My solution is to get rid of the things that make suicide victims end their lives. This could be,

1. Ending the family court like Australia did.
2. Ending 1 parental separation from their child, children.
3. Penalise parental alienation.
4. Taking family matters away from a judge and into a jury system.
5. Providing more funding for family court matters can be sped up.
6. Free solicitors for family court matters.
7. Ending or limiting solitary confinement (see link above).
8. Prosecuting those who mislead in court matters.
9. Change are prison for those like Norwegian farm type prisons
10. Cancelling the independent police complaints authority and putting offenders through a normal criminal court. Or at the very least give the IPC presiding judge the power to send police to a criminal court.
11. Change IRD child support to a more affordable system. Put in place government financial support system.

All I am saying is, remove the known policies or laws that cause suicide. Fairly simple, except if you are a punitive narcissist person or group of people.


  1. If you had a dictator, it could wave its wand for things to happen.
    If you look at your list, it’s a lot of wand waving.

    So actually even to the dictator, each thing is a decision.
    Some, need a big change in bureaucracy.
    Like getting rid of the Family Court, as the same cases exist.
    Some, need a whole new law.
    #3 just needs a law, but imagine trying to define it for conviction.
    Some, need large sums of money.
    And how much should be spent, if you don’t also take away.

    Law itself, is like cancer.
    Bit by bit, politicians add to it.
    Will that list, be added to and our lives defined more.
    The list is short, as there is hundreds of things to change.


    I like #9, as prison is a failure in many ways.

    What a waste we have, of human potential.
    What can become, of the prisoner with work.
    What should they labour on, as compensation.
    What do they walk out the prison gate as, for society.
    Certainly, they can learn how to feed themselves.

    I think big, when thinking of what prisoners can make.
    With things, that otherwise won’t get made.
    Work a normal day with a small reward, or lockup prison.
    If you can’t behave, then lockup prison.
    It solves, the slavery argument.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Wed 20th April 2022 @ 7:29 pm

  2. Getting rid of things, can be a solution.
    Instead of law being made, law is taken away.
    Did the law make more anarchy, or less.
    Did the good idea, turn out to be a bad idea.
    Is it good for one, but bad for the other.

    Maybe the good idea, remains good.
    But it’s execution, is bad.
    All that’s needed, is tinkering.
    Could you then keep the good thing, accepting the bad.

    Since suicide is a bad result for men, and less so for women.
    Then women have more good things, men with more bad things.
    Yet women claim, the opposite is true.
    In some nations, that claim has truth to it.

    So what separates, the difference.
    It must be in law then, that there is a difference.
    A nation with more laws, with gender definitions.
    The more bigoted, it becomes.
    Even then we ignore, laws gendered application.

    Certainly of bad for men, we have some experience in NZ.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Fri 22nd April 2022 @ 8:44 am

  3. “except if you are a punitive narcissist person or group of people.”

    So there is people, who are like that.
    That another’s life, has no value to them.
    As long as they get what they want, others don’t count.
    An extreme is the soldier, executing for any reason.
    Or the commenter, who wants people to go to hell.

    Politics seam irrelevant, to the behaviour.
    The left as murderous, as the right.
    So little doubt that men’s suicides, is ignored.

    The very reason for it happening, is then supported.
    If supporting mothers more, causes some male suicides.
    But they can’t support mothers less, then they must justify it.

    And that happens, by blaming something else.
    Financial difficulties or crime, medication or mental health.
    There will always be a reason, that is not what they support.

    He wanted to be a father, but was prevented.
    Is never then mentioned, as a cause of suicide.
    They would then have to justify, what they support.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Sat 23rd April 2022 @ 12:11 am

  4. No one should ever be made to feel that all they have left is suicide. The Family Court does this every day. They force a man from his home, they take his possessions, they take his income, create debt and take his children. They enable a woman to systematically dismantle whatever he has left, freezing him in time and isolating him without any support. A judgement and sentence is delivered before he has been heard. It’s not justice. It’s abuse. How can all of this not affect his mental health?

    This suicide inducing process is indiscriminate. Whether the allegation is a violent act or asking for sex too much, cutting a credit card or calling her fat, men are tossed into a meat grinder with some distorted belief that after a few years of Family Court abuse they will come out better. How? What support structures did the man have at his service while living out his sentence before being heard?

    The answer is suicidal.

    Every man who has been through it knows there is no justice in the Family Court. It’s a tool to break a man down when the Police want nothing to do with her spurious allegations.

    The belief that men are the primary perpetrators of domestic violence and women are victims, which in turn drives perpetual increases in support services, is a successful financial model. It seems however, there is no money to be made in supporting men or saving their lives.

    Comment by ErasingDad — Sun 24th April 2022 @ 6:32 am

  5. @4 Well done.

    If you produce hard evidence, video, text messages, photos, receipts with dates, passport dates, other firm facts. All that evidence is removed or never mentioned in the judgement.

    What the hell is that?

    How do they get away with it?

    The New Zealand Judicial oath is:

    I, [specify], swear that I will well and truly serve Her [or His] Majesty [specify as above], Her [or His] heirs and successors, according to law, in the office of [specify]; and I will do right to all manner of people after the laws and usages of New Zealand, without fear or favour, affection or ill will. So help me God.

    Then comes the Duluth model violence course, whereas the man has to confess his guilt or fail the violence course.

    It is plain and simple, family court judges break their oath. They do it without penalty, any type of loss. Except in two cases.

    The first being New Zealanders protest outside judges’ homes.

    All they were doing was standing outside of Judges homes, again non-violent protesting, a few placards on sticks. The police were called in and the then Minister of Justice and Courts Andrew Little called the protests “very disturbing” and said there was no excuse for people taking their case to the front door of a judge.

    Andrew Little further said “I would not be persuaded or convinced by anybody who thought it was okay to target judges and their families in this sort of way,” he told the Herald. “The reason for that sort of protest is to create some level of intimidation and that is entirely unacceptable.” Little said there would be people who found the court process and its decisions distressing and upsetting, however, there was no just cause to “attack judges personally” in a country governed by the rule of law.

    The second being, and I do not condone this one, the blowing up of a Judges home in Australia. Unlike the fathers who commit suicide, Mr Leonard Warwick decided he shouldn’t be the one who should end his own life, decided his family shouldn’t be the family to suffer loss. Warwick decided he would pass his judgement and sentence on the judge, the judges wife, the judges home should be destroyed. I suppose in Warwick’s mind, he thought at least that judge won’t be able to do that to another family.

    It took 10 years from the destruction of Warwick’s family and a further 30 years for the Australian police to convict him. Warwick was 73 years old when he was convicted and sentenced.

    Warrick did not know at the time, his murders eventually were highlighted to bring about the end of the family court in Australia.

    Amongst other factors including the 3 suicides a day in Australia, by moving the family court into the closed district court it ended the feminist judge’s narrative, the family court rules and judges now have to present all evidence.

    Sadly, there is still no avenue to repair a child’s relationship with their dad when evidence was ignored by a judge who did not understand or apply the oath they took.

    Comment by Lukenz — Sun 24th April 2022 @ 10:29 am

  6. What causes Suicide – Mental illness, which is caused by PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE and SEVERE HARM by way of gas lighting and subjecting people to FALSE ACCUSATIONS – which is what some in govt do to people and so we have another refusal to admit to the problem because some are complicit and don’t want to be held accountable.

    The courts and police have refused to address hidden psychological abuse and harm to the most vulnerable – a feminine gendered tactic most often used by WOMEN – and well known to sociologists and psychologists for over 30 years ( Jordan Peterson ) but rather lawyers have exploited this unseen abuse to enflame conflict and provoke anger for money while protecting no one.


    I will not go into any detail here – but I was a direct witness to cases mentioned here and I hope my evidence helped expose the absolute injustice and serious harm to a person(s) for no good reason.

    Comment by Hornet — Sun 24th April 2022 @ 11:51 am

  7. To change something, one must know what’s being changed.
    #6 for some mental illness, nothing changes it happening.
    But you could easily argue more stress, can cause problems in normal people.

    Stress could be, when a person can’t fix something.
    Being halfway home, realising you forgot to do something at work.
    The mistake made, and you have to accept the outcome.

    How worse is it, if the outcome is not caused by you.
    Or is it worse, if you are guilty.
    Certainly many suicides, are by the stress of guilt or innocence.

    So it is the assumption, that is wrong.
    The family court must assume one guilty, more than the other.
    Even if it’s true, the mother is as bad as the father.

    Men face the slightest wrong, or worse the accusation of one.
    Yet worse can be done by the woman, vs the mans little mistake.
    I attest, to experiencing the difference.

    Are they, instructed to favour women.
    Are they, naturally favouring women.
    Are they, applying culture to decisions.

    What exactly, is the assumption being changed.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Sun 24th April 2022 @ 5:28 pm

  8. #7 – Direct observation and experience is the best teacher. I have witnessed directly Gas lighting of a father, alienation of his child, and loss of career, confidence and self esteem and the resulting loss of his life to suicide – a tragic outcome for someone who had so much support around him.

    Education – we must educate fathers and men on what GAS LIGHTING and PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE ARE – It was only after my own education did I finally wake up to what was happened – this then empowered me – I regained my Confidence and Self Esteem. We must educate Fathers and good men on who to build confidence and self esteem.

    Most of those who harm others are BULLIES – they want to destroy you, your social circle and your life – which is why they target your confidence and self esteem and gas light you to anyone and everyone.

    RESILIENCE – build resilience, build back your confidence and self esteem – known what harm you are being subject to and you can protect yourself from it – change that and we might help more good fathers – given its kind caring and empathetic people who are the most vulnerable to these psychological attacks.


    Comment by Hornet — Sun 24th April 2022 @ 8:19 pm

  9. If you have a child together, the relationship doesn’t end.
    So with celebration events, you may still meet them again.
    So decades later, after my marriage ended it happened.
    I discovered I was gaslighted, over an event with a knife.
    Somehow that event, had become a family joke heckled to her.

    I remember the actual event well, and it was actually scary.
    I didn’t hide in a room, for no reason.
    I didn’t bother asking what the story was, when mingling.
    She knows her truth, as well as I know it.

    I don’t think all gaslighting, is vindictive.
    In my own example, it was her explanation of events.
    So it may be about shifting blame, not the legal attack.
    I was never accused, of doing anything with a knife in court.
    Whatever the story was, I as well find humour works.
    Somehow joking about things, helps.

    However very vindictive gaslighting, can happen.
    Why isn’t such behaviour, a red flag to the system.
    Why isn’t it a red flag, to the family and friends who fall for it.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Mon 25th April 2022 @ 7:21 pm

  10. There is no money in resolution. Why do you think the defence of provocation was removed from the Nz statutes.
    Sadly alienation and isolation is the only way to protect yourself from the narcissistic gas lighter. Problem is this makes them angry and revengeful because now they have lost control over you. They quickly look to recruit people to their side. Flying monkeys

    People prefer to believe lies and rumours. Funny or not ️‍♀️

    Comment by Hornet — Mon 25th April 2022 @ 8:23 pm

  11. Gas Lighting also occurs in the court room. In my experience any violence you raise against her will result in it being down played. The court will minimize your recollection.

    #10 is right about the anger and revenge that will occur if you isolate yourself from her. I have very little reason to interact physically or verbally and I keep it that way. I have clothes for the children, changeovers via school drop offs etc so that there is no reason to interact. Now I’m defending spousal maintenance a second time and fighting for additional days with the children. It’s all about power and control. First you are accused of it, then the court enables her to do it.

    Comment by ErasingDad — Mon 25th April 2022 @ 10:12 pm

  12. @11 and 10.

    With mounting debt from IRD, lawyers fees, 2 dwellings for one family, taking of real estate and all your belongings, unequal access to your own children, parental alienation. 7000 family court cases a year is a pandemic. It’s an industry that promotes, encourages and fosters male suicides.

    The woman and the NZ government do not give a shit about fathers because they get the money. The NZ government do all they can to hide the male suicides.

    If you are a young man, do not get on this gravy train of destruction of the family unit for personal female greed. Protect yourself, your future, your wellbeing. Leave New Zealand to self-implode.

    There will be a time when these laws will be cast out. But that is unlikely in the short term. Create your family in a nation that does not have this circus act.

    Comment by Lukenz — Tue 26th April 2022 @ 7:31 am

  13. #12 Yes the laws will change one day. It is a pandemic. A money making pandemic. They take everything, the most important being your children. They drag out the ‘no contact’ and then tell you to pay for Therapy (introducing another ticket clipper) to ‘re-establish’ your relationship with the children because you haven’t seen them for so long.

    How these people sleep at night is beyond me.

    Comment by ErasingDad — Tue 26th April 2022 @ 8:50 am

  14. I know this is a FB link but this man is taking on the AU court

    Comment by ErasingDad — Tue 26th April 2022 @ 1:25 pm

  15. There are changes happening within the Family courts – Feminine gendered reputation attacks most often used by women to harm and destroy others are the predominant form of harm in the digital space and they will have to be policed.

    These reputation attacks are DOMESTIC VIOLENCE and are a form of PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE and SEVERE HARM along with Alienation and Ostracism – Gas lighting is PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE – the courts are having to change the way they apply the LAW as we move into the Digital virtual space where reputation attacks – non physical harm have to be policed into the future.

    Hate speech laws are part of this. So what women got away with in the physical domain where physical crimes were punished they are not going to be so luck in the virtual space – where their crimes and tactics are now coming into focus.

    The Auckland District Law Society is now running a seminar on HARM and REVENGE in the DIGITAL SPACE.

    Reputation protection becomes vitally important.

    Comment by HORNET — Wed 27th April 2022 @ 9:01 am

  16. It is good to see, a man fighting back.
    Because it is clear, she is the abuser.

    So he is a bit messed up, but no abuser.
    Of all I’ve read, there’s no mention of him being an abuser.
    Occasionally wasted, and at worst a few abusive comments.
    If he was guilty of anything, we would have every article say so.

    Being from Stuff, and it’s feminist perspective.
    All the bits about her, are missed out.
    Her behaviour, backing up the diagnosis.
    The diagnosis backing up, that he was the victim.

    If I was the judge, I would notice she lies a lot.
    While he, confesses his wrongdoings.
    But this is law, and women are helpless creatures.
    Dare not create a precedent, of a male getting justice.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Wed 27th April 2022 @ 5:07 pm

  17. @14 This one hits the mark better.

    For all the harm the Governments have done to fathers and their children, there is no acceptance of responsibility. And why it that?

    The economy, money, fear of the feminist backlash. Times have moved on Andrew Little. The children and fathers are on the warpath for those in the know yet do nothing about it.

    Comment by Lukenz — Thu 28th April 2022 @ 8:13 am

  18. So, we’ve had this pinned tweet on the site for a while.

    Is there anything happening tomorrow or is this just another non-event?

    Comment by Evan Myers — Thu 28th April 2022 @ 5:37 pm

  19. There was no conversation about it, so I don’t know.
    I should be going, but I have fatherly duties.
    I also haven’t been to any events, so that’s obviously an excuse.
    I am definitely questioning why, that is the case.
    I guess it’s because I examine men, as much as women.
    The study of men’s behaviour, by observation not participation.
    Men organise and participate in some things, really well.
    There may be more at a club bike ride, than this event.
    While women group meetings on social issues, are common.

    The question becomes, why the difference on social issues.
    Why is women’s endeavour more celebrated, and common.
    Because men’s endeavour is not viewed, the same way.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Fri 29th April 2022 @ 8:01 am

  20. Stuff actually published, details of a males suicide.
    It has the usual suspects, but in an unfamiliar way.

    “On 12 occasions in four months when he threatened suicide, an exhausted and traumatised Joanne responded to him via text that he should do it, including a message on the November 15, 2019, just hours before he made another attempt on his own life. He died in hospital five days later. The court described the texts as callous. She says she didn’t mean it. On many other occasions Joanne had talked and texted him down.”

    That does show reckless behaviour, different from trying to make it happen.

    “For Joanne, the threats had become a daily part of life. Nine months before, she had rescued her husband in the same basement after he tried to make good on his threats.”

    Because males attempting, is not attention seeking.
    That would be a hard thing, being still alive for him.
    Whatever caused the suicide, now things are even worse.

    So the child is taken from the mother, given to the father due to abuse.
    Then they start supporting the mother, so she will get full custody.
    The fight far from finished, and they were united against him.

    “His wellbeing was at best ignored and at worst deliberately undermined in order to weaken his ability to oppose the plans of Oranga Tamariki staff and the Family Court’s contracted professionals.”

    $90,000 of debts, and four years of court.
    Clearly lawyers are not professionals, professionals are not that useless.
    That’s just extortion, torture and robbery.
    He may have faced $90,000 more, and four more years.

    Who knew, financial stress causes suicide.
    But it gets worse, with Child Support.
    Soon they would stop him seeing his kids, just the part time dad at best.
    Oranga Tamariki staff will ensure, the mother gets 100% payment.
    The years and years of the debt, will not alter his payment.
    They broke him once then made it certain, more would be taken.
    Not once did an adult, create a solution like equality.

    Despite another to the tally, the court will deny involvement.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Sat 7th May 2022 @ 1:11 pm

  21. It would be interesting, to see suicide statistics.
    Gambler vs non gamblers, or even the gamblers victims.
    While we also see another cause of death, stress.

    Gambling is everywhere, in many forms.
    As pointed out, there is online gambling.
    So the ability to stop gambling, is zero.
    Even being draconian, friends will still make bets.

    I once got very angry, at the idea of poker machines.
    Finding out my money was gone, with another’s addiction.
    Everyone talks of what they get, but not of what is lost.
    Poker machines took, far more than money from me.

    I see so little, actually going into the problem.

    “Pokies paid out about $300m in grants in 2021, plus $284m in taxes, $119m in site rentals to pubs, and $6.7m in problem gambling levies”

    Where is the money, to actually reduce harm.
    It seems a small percentage, goes to the problem.
    A child will see many videos, glorifying gambling.
    But not the story of the broken person, crying to the camera.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Sun 29th May 2022 @ 5:34 pm

  22. I have been well, for quite some time.
    But bipolar, doesn’t go away.
    So for whatever reason, I am experiencing depression.
    The best part, is I know not to blame it on anything.
    Prior to being diagnosed, I could blame things in life.

    And I do think, that’s a big problem with depression.
    That people blame the episode, on something in life.
    The depression, feeding itself in a mind game.
    Why did he commit suicide, it wasn’t that bad.
    Maybe depression is caused by things, in normal people.

    I highly suspect stress, can then result in depression.
    And if what’s causing stress, can’t be fixed.
    Then the depression, can then just get out of control.
    Worse if a person has nothing good in life, to hold on to.
    Once the man is asset striped and taxed, and also made childless.

    Comment by DJ Ward — Sun 3rd July 2022 @ 4:56 pm

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