Spotlight on New Zealand Relationships
04 September 2007 12:43pm | Relationship Services

Deaths and Violence Must Stop
04 September 2007 1:04pm | National Collective of Independent Women’s Refuges

Call for public to be clear family violence not OK
04 September 2007 12:16pm | Families Commission

New Zealanders Urged to End Violence
04 September 2007 1:29pm | Joint Media Statement

Family Violence is Hurting Communities
04 September 2007 2:16pm | Roger Ellis

Combined action needed to stop family violence
04 September 2007 2:24pm | Ideas Shop

Address to the Launch of the Campaign for Action on Family Violence

Individuals and communities are coming together to say that family violence is
not okay.

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And you arrived here today for something better to do, because the child that is yours is not there to say, Happy Fathers Day, not there to mouth – I love you, or blow a defiant kiss, and against all odds to think – I will see you again in a future way.

And of your thoughts, should they be hate, to hate the one which you once loved, or to hate she, who designed your fate.

And should you climb into that bottle, or disappear into your mind, because others seem not to understand the pain and loss and grief, as your children dissipate your mantle of self belief.

And of all the sanctimonious words and pitiful phrases, and compensation, that aspires to compare, to all that you sought to offer this child so absent and in your fears.

And in the quiet moments, when you are alone and uncontained, and in the absence of others view, you shed a lonely tear, for their aspirations, which you will never share.

And if it seems a long way home to the distant dreams of a daughter’s tears or a son’s fears; remember they are as alone in this world as you are, and in need of someone to care.

And if the law has abandoned them, and betrayed your care, don’t walk away, stand and fight for your God given right, for it has more to offer than any academic insight.

Daughter’s divorce of mum overturned
by Irene Chapple – Sunday Star Times

A highly controlling mother whose daughter effectively divorced her through the court system
has won back guardianship through a High Court appeal, in which the judge criticised the
Family Court for interfering.

Another case that should have been thrown out by the Family Court.

(Those with good memories may note that this is identical to my fathers’ day message from last year. This is because I saw no need to change a single word).

Many of you who read this will be fathers and you will be spending some or all of today with your children. This is a day to celebrate your role, a role that all too often is not only overlooked and underestimated, but undermined and maligned.

This is a day for all of you to be thanked for all that you have done for your children, whether it was sacrificing precious time (that you would rather have spent with them) working to ensure that there was bread on the table, or spending a weekend building a doll’s house.

This day is for all fathers.

This day is to dispel the negative and terribly wrong stereotypes surrounding fathers.

This day is to remember that children need love and care from both their mothers and their fathers.

This day is to acknowledge the selfless love and sacrifice of our own fathers.

For some of you though, this will not be a happy day, for you will not have any contact with your children. All you will have is a cherished memory, a dog-eared photograph, or perhaps a three-year old card, handwritten in crayon with bad spelling, which is now stained with tears.

If you are a father and this day overwhelms you with sadness, remember that even though they cannot be with you, your children will still be thinking of you on this very special day.

If you are a father, have a happy fathers’ day. You deserve it.

If you are not a father, please pass this on to someone who is…. maybe your own father.

Happy fathers’ day.

I’m planning on going to an interesting-looking conference in December where my wife Felicity will be one of the presenters.

The Innocence Project New Zealand (IPNZ) is a joint venture between Victoria University of Wellington and University of Otago. It was recently established as non-profit group of scientists, writers and lawyers aimed at investigating possible cases wrongful conviction in the New Zealand legal system.

The IPNZ has announced that registration for their first international conference is now open. It will be held at Rutherford House, Victoria University of Wellington, on 13th-15th December 2007. (more…)

A NZ site called DIY Father launched today in Wellington has already had more publicity in the last few days than the MENZ site has in its entire 10 year existence! Messages from the Children’s Commissioner Cindy Kiro and the Police National Family Violence Co-ordinator Ged Byers demonstrates that the founders have friends in high places indeed! They write that the site was started by:

dads Scott Lancaster, Eric Mooij and Stefan Korn who recognised the need for a dedicated website for fathers. Based on their own experiences of struggling to find useful parenting related information from a male perspective they created DIYFather.com

Watch the video of Scott Lancaster being interviewed by Pippa Wetzell on TV1’s Breakfast show here.

They have certainly done an impressive amount of work so far with blog postings every few minutes far into the night; will they be able to sustain this magnificent effort? It will be interesting to see what happens when babies Pyper and Noah start teething – then we’ll find out whether they really are superdad material!

Anything out there promoting positive messages about fathering is great, as far as I’m concerned. I wish them all the best.

I found this on feminist.org

Last Friday, I was a featured participant in a debate during my university’s New Student Days. I shared the auditorium stage with some pathetic loser who didn’t stand a chance. And you’d better believe that I made mincemeat out of his pimply ass.

Who doesn’t love a good debate on gender politics? Below, you can see a great example of the late Andrea Dworkin in her prime. She’s matching wits with Alan Dershowitz in a 1982 discussion on the censorship of pornography.

Feminist Debate Skills

Smackdown! Censorship wins!

And here’s how it went with me last week:
(more…)

This is a quoted newsletter below and if you are in the Wellington area, I hope you get to make it. For 20 years that I know of people in the community have been speaking up to deaf ears and being blackmailed by Government and Policies and the Media and the Businesses that pay out funding but are too afraid to go against the mainstream feminists ideology.

MP Judy Turner’s newsletter. (Gosh this lady is onto it)

I’ve never been much of a ‘blogger’ which is probably due to my age and my aversion to addictive behaviour; however since UnitedFuture set up blogging capabilities on our website I confess to becoming increasingly hooked on checking to see who is making comment.

My next challenge is to embrace the art of uploading video comments. I’ve seen some really boring ones on other people’s websites and have figured that shorter is better when it comes to this approach of communication.

Communication, once an art is now a science. In politics we constantly have to check the language we use to ensure that we don’t inadvertently send the wrong message.

This weekend is UnitedFuture’s Annual Conference here in Wellington. Our theme has been carefully thought through to ensure that we clearly communicate what causes we are committed to.

‘Supporting Those Who Support Others‘ is a conference focused on our strong belief that a healthy society depends not just on its political and economic structures but also on the community resources that care at a personal level. We believe that there needs to be a greater sense of partnership between government and the community and voluntary sector.

The current state of this relationship is not positive. Contestable funding, onerous application mechanisms, short-term contracts, audit fatigue and a lack of regional collaboration sees money wasted and the safety net that should characterise local communities compromised.

UnitedFuture at this conference wants to demonstrate both a listening ear and responsiveness to these challenges. Regardless of who is government after the next election, we want to be part of that mix to ensure that the voice of this sector is well represented in parliament.

In a Fathers Day Statement Republican Leader Kerry Bevin puts family devastation clearly at the feet of the feminist agenda, and its moderate face, NZ Prime Minister Helen Clark.

By allowing this Government to continue unchallenged in the implementation of its pink policy we leave unaddressed the underlying causes of family devastation.

“Family discipline is undermined and violence encouraged by Helen’s provocative feminist agenda, leaving fathers unable to fulfil their social obligations”, said Mr Bevin.

Link: Media Statement

I am pleased the Families Commission report into paid parental leave has
sparked a nationwide debate. Research has shown New Zealand parents have
benefited from our Labour-led government’s Paid Parental Leave scheme and
are eager to contribute ideas to improve and extend the scheme.

“Our government will look at four different areas where the scheme could
be improved – the 10 per cent of women in paid work who currently miss out
on any payment at all, the level of money that people get, the length of
time, and the fact that few fathers access the scheme at the moment.”

I hesitate to ask what the word “Father” might mean in Dykson’s Dictionary, but you can tell Labour is short of a vote when “Father” enters her vocabulary.

A report about inadequate enforcement of protection orders has been described as simplistic by the New Zealand Law Society.

The report has also come under fire from the judiciary.

Interesting to note that from this sample :

“Indeed, this research found that 87.5 per cent of the women in its case studies who applied for a protection order without notice to the other party were successful – a rate that is higher than the national average which, in 2006-2007, was 78.4 per cent.”

Its a nice way of the Law Society treating this “research” as what it really is Social Marketing for the reforms it advocates. Its a sad reflection that Waikato University Academics have to resort to undertaking social marketing programs on behalf of the Ministry of Womens Affairs.

I am men’s activist engaged in a Victoria University review of family law.

Currently I am critiquing sections 7, 9A, 13 & 18B of the Property (Relationships) Act 1976.

• Section 7 relates to assets outside New Zealand.
• Section 9A defines when separate property becomes property of the relationship.
• Section 13 allows unequal sharing if extraordinary circumstances make equal sharing repugnant to justice
• Section 18B (as extended in 2001) gives court discretion to transfer money or property to compensate for contributions a spouse has made to relationship property after the relationship ended.

Is anyone willing to share their issues about those specific section?

I know that it is vital for men to support each other in dealing with emotions around the way we have been treated by family law. But this is not an opportunity to process trauma. It’s an opportunity to try to effect change. What I am looking for is dispassionate reasoned critique of any of those section, plus any suggestions for reform.

Timo

When we think about different movements like feminism and conservatism and socialism and liberalism and all other isms we often see political and economical agendas.

But where do all these isms start? How do they come about? And what are WE in all these isms?

Lets look at their meanings.

Conservatism

Favouring free enterprise and private ownership. Also not wanting others to do what ever they please but holding back on certain actions in respect of others, wanting people to act certain ways. It is also about having traditional values.

Liberalism

Willing to respect and accept behaviour or opinions, different from one’s own. Favouring individual liberty; free trade and moderate reform. Giving freedom from being conservative.

Capitalism

An economic and political system in which a country’s trade and industry are controlled by private owners for profit. This was something that existed in Victorian Era where there were elite, middle class, low class and lower class. The elite were often the owners of most major assets.

Socialism

A theory which holds that a countries land, transport, natural resources and chief industries should be owned by the community as a whole. It would be shared socially so that all could have the same. Opportunities are for all.

This is where the movement came to state owned, state control, state run. We have social sciences studying social relationships and study of humans in society.

We have social welfare, social security and so forth under socialism.

Feminism
(more…)

Telecom have announced that they will be making a web-site available next week where you can vote for your preferred charity. They will donate $250,000 to each of the top four. (Announcement here).

If we all settle on one charity only, this is a good opportunity to profile the depth of feeling on men’s issues.

If you care to post a comment nominating a charity or affirming one that someone has already made, I’ll keep this post updated with a tally for the next week.

I’ll start the ball rolling with a nomination for Paul Catton’s Men’s Refuge.

Nominee (Votes)

==================

Paul Catton’s Refuge (2)

The data used to create these charts is sourced from the Family Court Website.

I have published them in order to assist in critiquing the social marketing disguised as qualitative research of Waikato University Academics.

This shows a continuing decline over-time of applications filed and final orders made since the 1998-1999 year. (more…)

Jimmy Bagnall launches the Republicans Auckland Central Campaign.

It is the “fix that which is broken principle” says Mr Bagnall. Get rid of the family court and fix the family.

– We need real evidence in court cases.
– Mediation not agrevation.
– Real support for struggling families, not lawyers.

University Of Waikato Calls For Sweeping Changes To Protect Women From Domestic Violence

Press Release by Waikato University at 2:50 pm, 27 Aug 2007

University of Waikato researchers into domestic violence have called for sweeping changes in the treatment of battered women by the courts and government agencies coupled with amendments to the laws designed to protect them and their children.

Their report, “Living at the Cutting Edge Women’s Experiences of Protection Orders”, highlights serious failings in the way in which battered women are treated by the courts, the police, Child Youth and Family, immigration and other agencies. It makes a total of 46 recommendations.

Commissioned by the Ministry of Women’s Affairs and released today (August 27), the report says the Domestic Violence Act 1995 has failed to realise its promise because of serious inadequacies in its implementation by the judiciary. (more…)

I found this comment on Markymark’s thoughts and thought maybe others would appreciate it as I have. But then as an individualist, I don’t mind nor care if it is not your cup of tea or not, so to speak. lol ….

Maidenvirgin writes under the post, Why do Women Insist on Changing Men?!

This is something of Society as a WHOLE. People are fucking selfish, always wanting you to live the way they want. I think you will be enlightened by what Oscar Wilde writes about a man under Socialism, this is my favourite piece: (more…)

From stuff

While no formal custody orders were in place, the child’s mother was the primary caregiver, and the girl was taken without the woman’s permission, said Detective Sergeant Dave Clifford, of Palmerston North police.

Oh, this is a good day.

Fathering Our City, a report for Waitakere City by Auckland University of Technology psychotherapist Warwick Pudney, says many services for children and families unconsciously exclude men through their “feminised” culture.

The report calls for both changing mainstream services to suit fathers as well as mothers, and developing specific services for fathers.

Mr Pudney, who founded the Henderson counselling centre Man Alive in 1996, says that agency focused mainly on abuse and family crisis and did not provide any specific support to fathers.

nzherald

There’s a story in today’s NZ Herald covering the opening of the new men’s refuge in Tauranga.

It seems remarkably neutral in its tone until we get to the closer:

“An organisation like this wouldn’t work if it didn’t have some women in it because men don’t network and don’t have the passion,” she said.

Just can’t help themselves.

? http://www.psy.fsu.edu/~baumeistertice/goodaboutmen.htm

A very convincing? rebuttal to ideological feminism:

In July a post was written on menz ‘utilising-our-resources‘ where an opportunity arose to fulfil an idea of taking men’s issues outside of the Internet and outside of Waitakere. (for me)

But this is a different area to pursue because now it is going to the younger male generation and providing them with not just information but a journey. One which I hope will benefit their lives and benefit the rights of men as human beings in New Zealand. And one which most likely will find many new readers here and on other sites.

From Monday 27th to Friday 31st August myself, a couple of friends and Jim Bagnall will be handing out 2000 of these flyers to 5 universities in the Auckland region.

Thanks to Rob Case and Saeed for the financial donations and to Paul Robertson for the design of the flyers and to Ken Maclaren for the printing.

You will find the flyer here and you can print some yourself for others if you wish. In fact it will be great to see them being used.

This is a promotion for MTGOW also. “Shock Horror”, some may think. “Julie has finally come around”. I will use this opportunity to say that I am promoting this because it is not about me. It is about the young men who we hope to save.

Anyhow,

Thanx also to Angry Harry’s website and words of wisdom (and for allowing us to use it as written) and one of Mikeray’s comments on menz.

The return of Eb Leary to the ranks of our legal profession shows a disturbing lack of reality amongst some in the legal profession and judiciary that have supported his return to practising law. This is a man who involved himself, not in the representation of criminals, in a fair trial, but in the operation of the drug trade. He helped drug dealers evade police prosecutions, for offences such as introducing drugs into prisons. He descended to defeating the course of justice, with acts such as bringing cash into the court room to buy drug dealers out of prison time. He took their money, to fund his life style, and thumbed his nose at our country.

Would you let a teacher who had assisted drug dealers to infiltrate a school have his job back? Would you let a policeman who had assisted burglars to evade detection have his job back? Why don’t we just keep lowering the bar so the next lawyer that does this does the likes gets back into the trade in 10 years?

If Mr Leary has risen above his previous pathetic level of existence, good on him, I congratulate him on his return to society. For those who have chosen to exonerate this man, and return him to the legal ‘profession’, they are fools to believe that they have restored this man’s credibility rather then lowering their own. This man was lucky not to be convicted of the crimes he committed, he got off lightly, and to see him rewarded in this manner by some of his former friends is an insult to the public of New Zealand, and a threat to the integrity of our justice system.

Elaine Dyer, Promoting Great Parenting says, “Sadly, in recent times it is not unusual to open the papers and read yet more disturbing stories that break the heart of any concerned parent. Fathers and step fathers get pretty tough press when things go wrong. So we looked at how we could improve support for fathering. All fathering is important! Come and join us in some great Waitakere fathering activities”

“Although we all know that the father roles are important, if you asked your average person why, they would probably be hard pressed to tell you” says Chris Davidson CEO of Henderson based Man Alive. “We recognise that fathers need good support, to feel valued, and be given attention, in more ways than just the times when the things are tough going.”

This week is supported by Ministry Social Developments SKIP project. Waitakere City Council. Te Korowai Manaaki Promoting Great Parenting. Barnados. Sport Waitakere. Man Alive. Waipareira Trust. Health West. Big Buddy. Unitec. Te Tari Puna O Aotearoa and Change Works.

See events