The mediation myth

Family Court counselors and mediators try to resolve matters out of court. But at whose expense? Here’s Norm’s story. (Norm is not his real name, but it’s appropriate because his story is fairly normal).

I’d like to talk just a little bit about what has been and continues to be the worst period of my life.

I arrived home after a particularly bad day at the office, to find a note saying “I’ve gone, and I’ve taken Susan and Michael and I won’t be back, P.S. Don’t try and find us or the Police will deal with you”.
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Here is the proof that women have always had their fair share of power. It displays how wise women protect their investment. Nothing wrong with that!!! Stating that women have been denied power in society is quite wrong. The enclosed situation has been happening since the Big Bang. How we obtain power is unique to our circumstances. To view the 7 shots in the Obama1.gif file… download then play.

Long live Michelle!!!!

20th May 2004

DO DADS GET A RAW DEAL ON DIVORCE?

By Marilyn Stowe

A lawyer changing their mind may seem, to some, as likely as money growing on trees. But I recently came into contact with a group of people who have opened my eyes about a growing problem in society – is the law acting unfairly towards fathers and access to their children after divorce?

Until recently, all I knew about organizations which represented such fathers came from media coverage of the protest antics of men dressed as Spiderman and Batman hanging from bridges and disrupting traffic as part of their campaign.

At first I thought they were just extremists. I even said so in The Times. My comments generated a tidal wave of responses from men who were clearly very angry at the treatment they had received from the courts over access to their children after a divorce.

I began an email diaIogue with many of these individuals, both here in the UK and abroad. What I learned has caused me to alter my views
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Historically, the country has had the opposite problem. Kiwi men of the 1800s and early 1900s often struggled to find a partner.

But since the 1980s there have been more women than men and the imbalance is now as bad as it’s ever been.

Well there’s a real surprise.
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This story needs a lot more facts to be uncovered to determine the full culpability of the mother but I am appalled at what I read. The boy’s father is NOT impressed and I note that all of the children are in the mothers care.

Here is the problem with cases like this….. In order to bring the real story to the NZ public any news media have a problem with what it can reveal due to restrictions. Media will instead focus on alcohol and children rather than why a child is in the care of a mother, who appears to be incompetent in parenting, rather than the father. In the video it is apparent that the race of the boy is Polynesian and this group is particularly vulnerable to the public disease of alcohol abuse which leads to relationship abuse.

Stories like this one are happening daily and only by luck of social media did we pick this one up.

Favouring mothers as the main care giver of children based on their gender is a social experiment gone VERY wrong but I won’t see this change in my life time. I will just sit back and see the carnage in the news and the fruitless chit chat around how to fix the problem without society ever understanding where the problem actually lies.

There are none so blind as those who will not see!

Michael Coren and Barbara Kay discuss the challenges facing men in modern society – Deadbeat dads – Men have rights too.

For those of you that have already gone through the hoops of the Family Court in relation to parenting orders, I have a registrars review with respect to counsel led mediation (that hasn’t happened yet) later this month and I need to provide written submissions of my proposal to the Court. Can someone tell me if this is in the format of an affidavit or just a letter back to the registrar?

Thanks

Brent.

Masculinity, Sexual Behavior and Health

Freya Sonenstein, PhD

Arik V. Marcell, MD

Course Number: 380.720

Description:
Reading seminar focusing on male adolescent health and sexual issues and explores the meaning of masculinity and the impact of masculine beliefs on men’s health and health care use. Students critique the literature and explore methods to design interventions working within a masculinity framework to improve men’s health outcomes.
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From her own lips. Rebecca Kamm’s bright future for woman.

This is her ideal world for feminists. New year resolutions for feminists

I CALL ON ALL ADVERTISERS IN THE NZ HERALD TO STOP USING THEM. AND BUYERS OF THE PUBLICATION TO NEVER BUY ANOTHER COPY.
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“A shocking exposé of the inner workings of the $50 billion a year U.S. family law industry, Divorce Corp shines a bright light on the appalling waste, and shameless collusive practices seen daily in family courts. It is a stunning documentary film that anyone considering marriage or divorce must see.”

Whilst United States centric; there are so many parallels that this could be New Zealand. Movie coming soon….or will it be banned here?

More details here: http://divorcecorp.com/

I am thinking of the men and children who are facing Christmas day as separated or divorced. More so if it’s your first. It can be daunting and awkward and ofden nasty.

My heartfelt sorrow and support to all those in this position. All I can say is treat the matter as a transitional period of your life and start making plans to change the situation in the future.

There are many in this site who can provide advice on how to get through.

I found this on a UK site that has suggestions on how to cope and do things.

http://familylives.org.uk/advice/divorce-and-separation/coping-with-holidays/coping-with-christmas-when-your-divorced-or-separated/

A Voice for Men will be hosting the First International Conference on Men’s Issues on June 27 and 28 of 2014 in Detroit, Michigan.

http://www.avoiceformen.com/mens-rights/avfm-is-hosting-international-conference-on-mens-issues/

Presenters include: Dr. Warren Farrell, Erin Pizzey, Robert Franklin, Dr. Miles Groth, Barbara Kay, Karen Straughan, Carnell Smith, Paul Elam, Sen. Anne Cools, Dr. Paul Nathanson, Dr. Tara Palmatier, and Tom Golden.

As one of the commenters says:

What a line-up!! It’s like a men’s human rights Woodstock.

This is one hell of a story; the sort of story you’d hope to only find in a book.

Helen Milner (aged 50) who has become known as the Black Widow during the course of her trial, was today found guilty by a jury at the High Court in Christchurch for the murder of her husband.
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If you have any information about unsafe logging procedures that are likely to cause death or injury to workers email me at [email protected]

Out of the 100 serious forestry incidents for 2013, 10% have been fatal.

In November this year (2013) New Zealand saw two forestry deaths in one week bringing the total to nine for the year.

Story here

A 28-year-old man was killed in a logging accident in Nelson – the ninth forestry death this year and the second this week.

The death follows that of 63-year-old Murupara man David Charles Beamsley, who was killed in a forestry incident on Tuesday.

“It is an outrage that three men have been killed at work this week, two of them forestry workers.”

The forestry industry would face some tough questions from health and safety regulators following the death of a man in a logging accident today, Labour Minister Simon Bridges says.

Days before Xmas – New forestry fatality takes 2013 death toll to 10

A man aged in his 20s was killed by a falling tree while working on a forestry block in rural Horowhenua this morning.

“A tree has come down on top of him.”

Men are overwhelmingly represented in workplace deaths. Our right to life, a safe work environment, a reasonable living and to return home to our families at the end of the day is a basic requirement – it’s not negotiable – again and again this is not being respected.

Forestry Worker Deaths for 2012 (5)

27/11/2012 Forestry 24 M Pahiatua
Attempted to fell a tree, it has become hung up on another tree; the initial tree has come free and fallen on him.

26/06/2012 Forestry 49 M Bay of Plenty
Hauler logging clear-fell operation, tree felling, Tree feller struck by a large falling branch during a tree felling operation.

26/06/2012 Forestry 44 M Whareongaonga Forest
Deceased and three other workers were breaking out from a stack of logs when the logs rolled crushing deceased.

11/04/2012 Forestry 33 M Wanganui
Felling tree, tree split in half, bottom section slid back onto feller.

6/03/2012 Forestry 38 M Atiamuri
Deceased hit in the neck area with hauler rope whilst freeing snag.

Source: http://www.business.govt.nz/worksafe/research/health-and-safety-data/workplace-fatalities-2012 (Last updated 13 December 2013)

As the year draws to a close with 10 work place deaths in the forestry industry for 2013 – that is double last year – surely we must be asking how and why this could be happening?

Compare this to the death of a woman

“There’s a mother not home for Christmas.”

Prison for farm worker who broke cows’ tails

2014 update

First forestry worker killed 16 days into the new year

The year has started disastrously for the forestry industry with a worker killed in Marlborough’s Wairau Valley, and another seriously injured near Whakatane.

News from WorkSafe tasked with cleaning up the industry

“We have identified an alarming rate of safety non-compliance amongst cable logging operators – nearly half of the 162 we’ve visited weren’t operating in compliance with the industry code and we had to take 203 enforcement actions to force those operators to comply,” de Rooy said.

“We had to shut 15 of them down they were so dangerous.

“We are so concerned at this level of unsafe practice that we have sought meetings with individual forest owners to make very clear to them that they have significant responsibilities,” de Rooy said.

“We will want to see their safety plans for the contractor crews demonstrate active management of safety standards. If they are deficient, we will be holding them to account.

“The issues that are becoming apparent lead us to conclude that there are deeply ingrained systemic issues in this industry.

Sixty-seven new constables will graduate from The Royal New Zealand Police College in Wing 281 on Thursday. Their wing patron is retired Police Commissioner Howard Broad.

Story here.

What strikes me as rather extraordinary is that the Police Training College would involve itself in a political campaign.

The wing was the first to wear White Ribbon supporter t-shirts during the running of the cross country in November. For future wings, wearing these t-shirts is to become a regular feature of the cross country.

I have noticed this on other occasions with officers appearing for TV interviews with white ribbons attached to their uniforms. There is no place for Police overtly or otherwise supporting political or commercial causes. It would be equally unacceptable if Police were training in gay marriage t-shirts with Lion Red sunhats.

The shame for Howard Broad being, patron of the first wing to advertise their scruples.

Stopping male violence is on all of us

Preventing male violence against women starts in the cradle.

Despite the often deadly effects of male violence, it still remains hard to grasp the bigger picture. Why does this violence happen despite all we know? Do women have a part to play in this?

We know that no-one but the individual is responsible for a man’s violence – there are no justifications for verbal, physical or sexual abuse.

Here we go with another ‘holier than thou, innocence of women’ lecture from the media – found on Stuff Life and Style.

It is written by, as stated –

Helen Mounsey is co-director of Sex Therapy NZ.

http://www.sextherapy.co.nz/homepage.html

Welcome to Sex Therapy New Zealand, which is a nationwide counselling service for anyone seeking help with intimacy and sexuality concerns. It is also a referral network for clinicians seeking expert help for their patients and clients.

Our team of psychologists, psychotherapists, occupational therapists and highly trained counsellors, includes Helen Mounsey who writes a column in the Christchurch Press, Dr Ally Waite who writes a feaure in Oh Baby! magazine, Mary Hodson who writes an occasional column in the ‘Good Health’ magazine and is our media spokesperson and Robyn Salisbury, a clinical psychologist and author, who writes a regular sex feature in the Sunday Star Times. Click here to read about the qualifications and experience of our therapists.

Our mission is to provide best practice assessment and treatment, delivery of education programmes, participate in research and to raise public awareness through the media by promoting life enhancing intimacy and sexuality.

Anyone know these people?

Why would New Zealand mainstream media give free advertising to a man-hating article like this?

Real professionals work under the Fair Trading Act and have a professional complaints process, that pro-actively investigates complaints
and clowns work under the Judicial Complaints Hider.

New rules around child support have been postponed for a year because Inland Revenue says they’re complicated and can’t be implemented on the date set by Parliament.

The legislation was passed in April with an implementation date of April 1 next year.

Revenue Minister Todd McClay says IRD couldn’t give him an assurance it could implement the changes “to the high standard the Government expects” and he’s put them off until April 1, 2015.

“I’m not willing to implement these changes until I am assured that they can be made smoothly and that parents will not be adversely affected,” he said today.

Former revenue minister Peter Dunne brought the legislation to Parliament, saying it was the first major child support reform in 20 years.

It set up a new way to calculate how much money an absent parent should pay for child support, giving greater recognition to shared parenting.

It also changed the way IRD administered the scheme.

Read more: http://www.3news.co.nz/Child-support-changes-put-off-for-a-year/tabid/1607/articleID/325513/Default.aspx#ixzz2nhafF2Kl

Many men all over the world have been unwillingly separated from their children. Some have no idea where those children are or even what they might look like today. Some may meet again, others will not.

Some people do go looking, and those that successfully find each other are occasionally reported in the media. At least, with the power of the internet it is becoming easier to find people, they can be more visible. Not every search ends in success.

A mother at 19, Carol King Eckersley put her new born son, Kenneth Bissett, up for adoption. This year, she discovered that her son was one of the Syracuse University students killed when Pan Am Flight 103 blew up over Lockerbie, Scotland.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/oregon-mom-search-long-lost-son-ends-heartbreak-article-1.1548127#ixzz2ngdARC1A

We never know when our time is up. I am sure that Christmas is a time a father thinks more of their missing children and perhaps you would like to leave a message, write something down for them, just in case your children come looking for you, but you’ve already gone.

If you put your name and their names in one comment it will make it possible for search engines to link these names together and return a search find to anyone who is looking via the internet.

So, if you want to leave your missing children or your missing father a Christmas message for 2013, write a message in the comments section below.

I just happened to be at the Doctor’s today, and as you do picked up a magazine (I was actually reading it, not just looking at the pictures) – it was a Metro – and as they do, can turn just about anything into a story; in this case it was the Dan Carter underpants legend and the rise of Jockey. They fly the man all other the world to promote their product and he says “he’s loyal to the brand” and only has his sponsor’s product in his underpants’ drawer.

Then tonight I find Dan has some competition: (more…)

BBC article – the return of the female condom

Interesting how this came about.

Then one day in 1995, Leeper received a telephone call from a woman called Daisy, responsible for Zimbabwe’s HIV and Aids programme.

“She said, ‘I have a petition here on my desk signed by 30,000 women demanding that we bring in the female condom.'”

There’s always humour outside of sex,

In the early years, Chartex’s successor, the Female Health Company, considered folding, but instead it set about developing an education programme.

To be fair, the FC1 had something of a design flaw. Made of polyurethane, it was a bit noisy during sex, and it was inevitable that comic stories of rustling under the bedclothes would be told and re-told.

This is an article from Russia which I found interesting for two reasons. Firstly it talks about some of the issues that confront us, and secondly it is a comparison to the campaign Colin Craig is running.

Russia’s power is moral and military says Putin is based on a state of the nation address given this week by Putin, but looking past his comments directed at the West there are interesting aspects raised in respect of the internal battle over their social contract.

He [Putin] used the occasion to reinforce his image as a champion of conservative values, intended to appeal to his traditional supporters in working-class areas outside big cities …

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I just thought I’d let you guys know that your hard earned tax dollars are being used to help benefit defrauding bludging mothers keep good fathers away from their children. The mother of my children is trying to have me removed as legal guardian of my 2 younger children whilst at the same time is attempting to take them to Canada to live permanently and, to add insult to injury, is trying to get the FC to force me to pay her lots of money in Child Support once they move to Canada. SO it seems that it’s me against her AND her State funded lawyer when the case is heard just before Christmas. How is it that an aggressive applicant, who is clearly trying to deprive my kids of any paternal involvement in their lives, gets a state funded lawyer? If I was abusive toward her, a bad father, or just generally a bad bloke, I wouldn’t mind her getting a free lawyer. But she’s the aggressor here and has a history of breaching Parenting Orders, not sending our daughter to school and CYF getting involved with her due to her brilliant parenting skills. Why the F*** is this allowed to happen and why is it that I have to face both her AND her state funded lawyer. This situation is stressful enough for me as it is. I can’t afford a lawyer, they all want about $400 an hour. Anyway I just thought I’d let you know how your tax dollars are being spent.

http://www.oneinthree.com.au/news/2013/12/11/latest-abs-personal-safety-survey-shows-one-in-three-victims.html

Latest ABS Personal Safety Survey shows one in three victims of domestic violence is male
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Hunt on for reformed ex-prisoners
SHANE COWLISHAW Last updated 05:00 09/12/2013

It might be the last thing a reformed criminal wants to hear – the Corrections Department is on your trail.
It’s keen to track down young former prisoners who have successfully turned their lives around, in the hope that they can help others to follow the straight and narrow.
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