MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

Men in one part of the world are now finally getting something nz men are still lacking

Paternity Justice

What is this……

A number of key directional matters were endorsed unanimously, including the formation of Women’s Council led by women with authority to influence the Federation on matters affecting the well being of women in their relationships, homes, community and workplace.

I just read an article on young men in our mental health services, written by a young mans mum.
Brilliant, best article in ages!
It rang bells for me of countless tales I hear in a supporting role for men of all ages. There has for so long been a movement to turn our men in to the villians of our societies ills. The system isn’t even covert about it, its all over our news, yet there is little focus on the good things men do. There are continual references in the press relating to inequality and gender imbalance, yet for the life of me I am not sure where this actually exists, because I don’t know any men who still subscribe to the veiws that are upheld by whoever reports this stuff.

I read a quote that kids these days suffer a case of “too much mother and not enough father”, I have read many times of underfathering and a lack of male role models. I wonder how much this manifests itself in the behavior of young men and women. I have a belief that our young people would benefit from some good male energy.

I don’t uphold myself as perfect and as an example to anyone. However if one person gets value from talking through their problem with me thats good. In the majority of cases they have no idea how to relate to an older man. Therefore against the grain I have remained open to anyone who wants to discuss their problens ith me, regardless of age or gender. Now I am not a sounding board or a sage, I’m quite happy to point out where they behave badly as gently as I can. I ask them what they need to do with thier problem so they can feel better. Sometimes they do actually do what they need to! By them selves! Most people once they are heard have their own answer inside them!

Sometimes I think our society is too focused on career, sucsess, money, qualification, safety. This puts a lot of stress on young people, where does happiness feature in this?

On the subjectt of sport as an outlet? I think the term competition has been twisted in to winning. It should be about the game not the result. And sport aint for everyone. Sometimes too I wonder if a safe way to vent anger and exercise growing strength would help our young people. I wonder if young people need a safe forum to explore their own minds, to try other ways to get the rush they now get from law breaking, drinking, drugs, or driving fast, fighting.

I certainly think in terms of relationships interpersonal skills, dispute resolutions, negotiation, and understanding need to be taught to both genders. Possibly there needs to be a greater understanding of men by women, and of women by men. After all we live with mistrust and fear of each other…..we’re screwed.

Be aware; be very aware when you send your boys to Mental Health. I cannot stress enough that if you find yourself working with Mental Health insist on a male Psychiatrist or Psychologist for your boys. And be present for their interviews.

Do not let what I am going through be your story.

I approached Mental Health for my son as just like many parents especially single parents I was concerned for his behaviour and state of mind.

On one interview, my son stated that, “Girls dress up so young it is hard to know which of them is old enough to like and that sometimes he sees them in short skirts, heels, low tops and so on from behind, thinks sexually, then sees them front-on and realises they are too young.”

Never had I seen 2 women’s heads lift so fast and eyes light up and widen as if their Christmas had come early. “Hold on a minute”‘ I said. “It is normal for boys to have these thoughts in their teens.”

But the verdict was in and in writing. My son is a potential rapist. Now I will spend as long as it takes alongside all the other mother’s fighting this bias to clear my son’s name. I write letters to Mental Health but receive no replies. So, now my son is another statistic to show how young girls are unsafe. Another statistic for women’s refuge to use and alongside them their sister family violence.
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Good to see someone within a teacher training institute finally going so public and stating the obvious.

I thought about teaching in nz after qualifying in 2002.
Asking the director at Unitec what she was doing to correct the imbalance in teachers only got me a gloating “Yes we know women dominate this profession” response.
She could care less.

Too bad. nz’s loss is other places gain.

Shit pay, underparented (most often fatherless) indisciplined teens, malicious fems looking to cut you down at every turn, and the suspicion you’re sexually predacious. I saw it all close up.

You can keep it.

I’m worthy of much better…….

and getting it as an ex-pat elsewhere.

Current Initiatives link

The New Zealand Family Violence Clearinghouse maintains a list of current initiatives in the field of family violence prevention and intervention within Aotearoa New Zealand, including current projects, programmes, and strategies in the areas of: Services and practice; Research and evaluation; and Policy and legislation.

XY: men, masculinities, and gender politics

XY is a website focused on men, masculinities, and gender politics. XY is a space for the exploration of issues of gender and sexuality, the daily issues of men’s and women’s lives, and practical discussion of personal and social change.

On Newstalk 1ZB:
Children’s best interests should be central

Great to see a positive message getting reported straight, I hope the reporter’s job is safe. A pity they didn’t get the Father’s Coalition name correct!

“…it is time to stop picking sides in custody battles and find what is best for the child.”

His comments follow the indefinite jailing of a Hamilton mother, 35-year-old Kay Skelton, for refusing to reveal the whereabouts of her son Jayden Headley.

Coalition of Fathers spokesman, Jim Bagnall says if the courts took Australia’s lead and made the presumption of shared custody, parents would not take such drastic measures.

Saturday 29th October 2006
Venue – Auckland Bridge Club
273 Remuera Rd. Auckland

10.00am Welcome - Project Reunion - Bevan Berg

10.10am Housekeeping

10.15am Personal experiences of child support
6 Speakers of 5 minutes each

10.50-11.30am Guest Speaker - Dr. Viv Roberts
Subject – Suicide
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Dateline: US
From: Honor Network
Author: Pit Bull

That’s right, certain schools have now banned the Game of “Tag” by stopping it in its tracks in area schools in the New England region of the US. With all that’s wrong with the world, the PC types are after the little things in our kids’ lives (last month it was boys being forced to pee like girls in Norway).

The motivation to micromanaging kids must be because it leads to passive adults that don’t mind being micromanaged, I guess (hint, hint… get off your duffs momma’s boys or homeboys). As each new outrage becomes accepted most tune out and don’t wish to cause a stir, for it’s risky being called angry white male- or worse intolerant (ooow… scary).
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