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MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

Tue 31st July 2012

New book: Have You Seen My Child

Filed under: Law & Courts — JohnPotter @ 5:53 pm

Hi fathers, Since December 2008, some of you will have read about the then Deputy Chief of the NSW Fire Brigade who was searching the world for his the 3 yo son, abducted from Australia by his wife. Against all odds, he succeeded, after a cycle crusade conducted over 6500kms around Europe. After more than three months of pedalling and searching, an alert teacher spotted the boy in Amsterdam. (more…)

SHINE- Response to my query

Filed under: General — JohnBrett @ 5:12 pm

My enquiry:
What assistance does Shine provide for abused men?
I have been involved for many years with Menscentre, and was on the Separated fathers Support Trust which established a Men’s Refuge.
Our experience is that many organizations in the DV field were totally negative to men, and regarded DV as entirely men attacking women.
Our experience with men and women needing help is that both sexes need help when abused.

This is an enquiry for information only, I am not in need of help myself.

I also seek permission to publish any reply on Pauls News, and on the MENZ website

Thank you

John Brett

The response:-

Dear John,

Thank you for your enquiry. Shine supports anyone who has experienced abuse, and most of our services are available to men and women, and their children.

We don’t have a Safe House for men, but we help find safe accommodation for men who need assistance. Our safe@home service is available to men and women, and at present four men, who have been assessed as being at high risk of serious injury or death at the hands of a family member, are living in houses that have had a comprehensive security upgrade to protect them.

Our KIDshine service works with children and their protective parent or caregiver. Our national free Helpline is available to any caller from 9.00am – 11.00pm every day of the year on 0508 744 633. Our callout service responds to all police arrests in Auckland central regardless of gender.

We know from experience and world-wide statistics that violence against women is the most common form of domestic abuse. This does not mean that men who are abused are any less deserving of care and support. For example, it’s a bit like breast cancer – a small percentage of patients are men, and they receive surgery and chemotherapy as needed, but it is still a women’s issue overall. The percentages are very similar for domestic abuse, and this is why most services were set up by women for women. It is great to hear that you set up a service for men. More men might choose to do this if they hear about the work you have done.

I am happy for you to use this information on your websites, and anyone who is interested can visit our website at www.2shine.org.nz for further information.

Shine believes that everyone has the right to feel safe in their own home,

Kind regards,


Jill Proudfoot, Client Services Director.

PO Box 90279
Victoria St West
Auckland 1142 P.
021 987 337
09 815 4593 W.

Call free 0508 744 633

I look forward to hearing of anyone’s experiences with this organization

Thu 26th July 2012

Child Neglect – minutes or months?

Filed under: General — MurrayBacon @ 3:28 pm

In NZ, the public discourse is about obvious child neglect or serious injury done in a minute and the more subtle emotional neglect, which injures children over weeks and months is neglected in the public debate.

This longer term damage by emotional neglect, affects many, many more children, probably over 10,000.
It cannot be seen in bruises, it cannot be picked up as a child left unattended for a few minutes or hours. Diagnosing emotional neglect is not straightforward.
It occurs when the caregivers fail to attend or respond to the child, many times per hour and fails to provide the child with other appropriate stimulations, month after month. Contact with other children and adults is essential. Multiple relationships protects the child’s development, even if the day to day caregiver isn’t particularly competent.

Rather than diagnosing incompetent parents, isn’t it better to warn them, before they are out of their depth?

The present public debate, over 10 or 20 children per year, is just a feel-good by putting someone else down. This debate is carried on by insecure, maybe incompetent parents, who can only feel good by belittling other parents. I am not saying forget about children beaten to death, but lets not be distracted by debating over these serious injuries and forget to respond appropriately to emotionally neglected children. Lets attend to injury and emotional neglect in proportion to their numbers and the seriousness. Broken bones usually heal in 6 weeks, emotional neglect often heals in 25 to 40 years.

The present public debate about serious violence injuries, is just a smokescreen to keep the featherbrains in familycaught$ awarding custody to mothers, irrespective of their actual parenting skills. In my opinion, a competent parent would rarely ever want to exclude the other parent. (It is always best to be able to share the blame!) Any parent who wants to exclude the other parent, unless there is some real hazard, is the hazard themself.

A Century of Fatherhood BBC4

Filed under: General — MurrayBacon @ 12:56 pm

The BBC has shown a 3 part documentary A Century of Fatherhood.

Three-part series which tells the story of the revolution in modern fatherhood in Britain during the last hundred years, using intimate testimony, rare archive and the latest historical research
A Century of Fatherhood reveals that the view we now have of fathers in the past is not always accurate.

The myth of the tyrannical dad
Fathers of yesteryear tend to be portrayed as cold, detached, even callous creatures. However, BBC News Magazine finds that the cuddly, hands-on, sentimental dads we know today are by no means a modern-day creation.

Wed 25th July 2012

If the noose fits, wear it?

It can be educational, to lift one well known and understood story, change the names to something else (a less well known story) and then see if the newly developed story has any ring of truth in it?

This can be an unfair and abusive technique?
It can also give some insight into the less well known area, by taking well developed concepts into the less known area.

Am I being being unfair?

Unholy Silence familycaught$ procedural abuse coverup in New Zealand

By Geoff Thompson and Mary Ann Jolley – with dastardly changes by MurrayBacon – abusive axe murderer.
Updated July 4, 2012 11:15:00

Advocating for DV support for men too

Filed under: General — MurrayBacon @ 2:26 pm

Supplementary Submission to Domestic violence trends and issues in NSW (Inquiry)
by Men’s Health Australia
The Domestic violence trends and issues in NSW (Inquiry) held a closed ‘Public Forum’ (transcript here) with invited stakeholders on 18th June 2012. The One in Three Campaign was not informed that this event was to take place, nor were we invited to participate. As such we fail to see how it can be called a ‘Public Forum’! We are appalled at the apparently secretive, undemocratic process taken by this Inquiry, and have lodged a supplementary submission as follows:

The One in Three Campaign thanks the Committee for the opportunity to comment upon the deliberative process and the transcript of the round table held on on 18th June 2012.

As the content of the Committee’s Discussion Paper has not been made available to us or to the public, we are unable to respond in any meaningful way to the material in the transcript of the round table other than to say that none of the issues we have brought to the attention of the Committee were addressed.

We understand that the recommendations that were discussed at the roundtable may not be made public as they formed part of the deliberative process at the end of the Inquiry. We do however believe that the One in Three Campaign should have been considered a significant stakeholder, as we were invited by the Committee firstly to lodge a submission to the Inquiry and secondly to present to the Committee in person.

Tue 24th July 2012

The Primary Caregiver Fraud

Filed under: General — MurrayBacon @ 9:15 pm

The Primary Caregiver Fraud

F. M. Christensen is Professor Emeritus in the department of philosophy of the University of Alberta.

The ‘Primary Caregiver’ Fraud

By Professor F. M. Christensen

Imagine a society in which when a couple separates or divorces, it is always the father who receives custody of the children. No matter how caring the mother is, no matter how much she wants to remain part of the children’s lives and no matter how much the children want the same thing, she is cut off from them–except to whatever degree the father is willing to let her see them. All this happens, that is, unless the father is utterly dissolute–in which case the courts will then give custody to the mother.

What a terrible place such a society would be! How cruel to women! How cruel to children! What a blessing we don’t live in such a society! Actually, up until sometime in the 19th century, that was the pattern in our society. The immediate reason for this system was economic: the best financial interests of the children were seen as being served by leaving them with the parent who had the financial resources–and that was the father. We might give this judicial doctrine a name. We might call it the ‘Father-Breadwinner’ test for determining which parent gets custody of the children.

Sat 21st July 2012

Protecting children proactively and men too

Filed under: General — MurrayBacon @ 12:48 pm

An exploration of the experiences and perspectives of New Zealanders with fetal alcohol spectrum disorder
Salmon JV, & Buetow SA. (2012, February). Journal of Population Therapeutics and Clinical Pharmacology, 19(1):e41-50. Epub 2012 Feb 5.
Link to Abstract and Full Article
In order that progress in this field can take place, health and social agencies, educational and criminal justice systems and policy-makers need to have increased awareness of the disability and the complex problems that individuals with the disability and their families face. (more…)

Wed 18th July 2012

Why do men have children?

Filed under: General — triassic @ 6:05 am

This post is requesting readers to supply an answer to the above question. I am conducting research on the subject and keen to hear from the ‘horses mouth’ what it was that motivated you to pursue fatherhood. I assume a lot of men on this site will have mixed feelings now but if you can focus on what you originally expected from fathering I will eventually juxtapose it with a myriad of research already done on why women have children. Good men project รƒโ€šร‚ย is one of few sites where you can read what some men think fatherhood, or not, means to them.
Some reasons may be:
Social expectation.
Pleasing your partners wishes.
Achieving Fulfillment for your life.
A further expression of your loving relationship.
An unconscious effort to correct your own unhappy childhood.

Biology of fathers is worth watching for reflection

I thank you in anticipation of some thoughtful replies.

Sun 15th July 2012

Men’s Centre North Shore weekly meetings end after 15 years

Filed under: Gender Politics,General — JohnPotter @ 5:49 pm

I received a call from Jim Bagnal at the end of last week, informing me that Men’s Centre North Shore is no longer able to continue running support meetings on Monday nights. As far as I know, any official funding ran out years ago, and expenses have been met by individual supporters for some time.

Fri 13th July 2012

Comment on the White Ribbon Campaign

Filed under: General — Ministry of Men's Affairs @ 5:40 pm

There has been some debate on the White Ribbon Campaign’s Facebook page under a picture of a woman with bullet holes all around her face and the words “Killing me softly with his words”, and elsewhere. The nice white ribbon people have now removed my comments and seem to have blocked me from further input.

Thu 12th July 2012

Sentencing Trust a Misandrist Organisation

Filed under: General — Ministry of Men's Affairs @ 3:15 pm

I’m interested in others’ thoughts on this. I say It’s time we officially recognize the so-called ‘Sensible’ Sentencing Trust as an anti-male group. Garth McVicker will become another nominee for the 2012 Miss Andry Male Bashing Award. (more…)

Wed 11th July 2012

Boshier has gone! But will it be better the devil we knew or the next

Filed under: General,Law & Courts — Alastair @ 4:06 pm

New appointment to Law Commission

Think how much damage he can do here ๐Ÿ™

Sat 7th July 2012

Is Misandry in Society becoming excessive?

Filed under: Gender Politics,General — Bruce S @ 12:15 pm

Back in January 2010; the “Futurist” published an expose on misandry; entitled The Misandry Bubble. Today a poll is being taken by the author asking one simple question; Is Misandry in Society becoming excessive? If you would like to cast your vote; then the link is here:
A First Quarter Poll on the Misandry Bubble

For those who haven’t read the original misandry bubble article; there’s an imbedded link to it in the poll. Well worth a read.

Thu 5th July 2012

Gender research about medical services

Filed under: General — Ministry of Men's Affairs @ 8:51 pm

FYI, my letter to Prof Crampton whose interview with Radio NZ showed some fine feminist reasoning (find it at http://www.radionz.co.nz/national/programmes/afternoons/20120704)

I also sent a letter summarizing my concerns to the editor of the journal, who happens to be Professor Felicity Goodyear-Smith! (more…)

Wed 4th July 2012

Protecting yourself from Perjury

Filed under: Domestic Violence,Gender Politics,General,Law & Courts,Sex Abuse / CYF — MurrayBacon @ 8:07 am

With the familycaught$ heading into a period of extreme change, there may be an increase in manipulation and perjury.
Entitlement leads to immunity from other people’s rules. This is a dangerous disease, so try to be careful not to catch it yourself.

As Machiavelli said, time is the greatest innovator.

When the invisible rules of play are suddenly changing, deceptive people can easily have an increased advantage. In this treacherous environment, you must pro-actively protect yourself from other players, especially those using different rules to yourself.

I have heard of situations in NZ, where fathers and mothers had been able to defend against perjured allegations in familycaught$, using their voicerecorder, where they otherwise would have been succe$$fully framed. Up shit street without a paddle…..

If you want to walk into caught and trust to true justice winning every time, you may as well bury yourself!
Use common sense and protect yourself, in accordance with NZ laws. ******
After the event, you can only moan and groan, like an idiot without eyes and ears.
Insurance – it is better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it.

Mon 2nd July 2012

Response from Minister

Filed under: Gender Politics,General,Men's Health — Ministry of Men's Affairs @ 12:04 am

As expected the reply from the Associate Minister of Health Peter Dunne was a fob off, in response to my clear expose of anti-male gender bias by the Ministry of Health in the way it reports and responds to suicide. I publish Mr Dunne’s letter here for all to see the extent to which it denies, whitewashes, fails to address and lies about the Ministry’s gender bias. (more…)

Sun 1st July 2012

Family Court not for revenge

Filed under: Law & Courts — JohnPotter @ 5:48 pm

What is the world coming to? Mainstream media finally saying something sensible about the Family Court!

Herald on Sunday editorial: Family Court not for revenge

Groups representing fathers have long claimed, with some plausibility, that the Family Court process routinely holds fathers’ rights as less important than mothers’, for example by granting orders ex parte (so the father does not even know the matter is being heard, much less get a chance to be represented).



Filed under: General — MurrayBacon @ 5:41 pm

Many years ago, in 1960s USA there was a telephone technician strike. The technicians predicted that within a month, there would be so many faults that had occurred in the telephone exchanges and not been repaired, that most calls would fail to get through. The employers also nervously awaited the expected degradation of the quality of service, but for financial reasons were determined not to give in to their staff for higher wages. (more…)

Sex Education – Tell it like it Is

Filed under: General — MurrayBacon @ 1:39 pm

I have been concerned about messages given to our children, at school. I am in favour of schools giving sex education, when it is factually correct.

My criticism might be seen as being over small peripheral issues, such as safety and risk.

Male workers’ sacrifice hidden again

Filed under: General — Ministry of Men's Affairs @ 1:03 pm

This article in the NZ Herald today reports on the funeral of yet another male forestry worker and tells us that 183 ‘workers’ and ‘people’ were seriously injured and 3 killed in forestry last year. My letter to the journalist was as follows: (more…)

Reliable child abuse measure vital for NZ

Filed under: General — MurrayBacon @ 12:09 pm

Reliable child abuse measure vital for NZ

Last updated 05:00 01/07/2012
New Zealand’s child abuse record is brutally laid bare in one of the most comprehensive releases of Government data on the nation’s bruised and broken children.

There are 22,000 substantiated child abuse cases each year, resulting in around 1000 prosecutions and 128 recorded hospital admissions.

One expert says child abuse rates are not falling and it’s time we developed reliable measures to quantify the horrific harm suffered by children.

The child abuse rates, prosecutions and hospital admission figures – released under the Official Information Act – highlight stark differences in reporting.

Value for money in caught$

Filed under: Law & Courts — MurrayBacon @ 11:48 am

It is not just the familycaught$ that has serious value for money problems.

As the familycaught$ is now charging daily court costs, users need to be much more careful about what they are taking on, when the initiate or defend any action in familycaught$.

51 plumbing jolts leave couple battling for compo

A Bay of Plenty couple have lost their home and are out of pocket by more than $1 million after a company owned by a wealthy hotel-owning family failed to compensate them for damage to a motel they operated.

Safe Cognitive Thought Processes?

It is scary, how men and women can be warned about some hazard, for example the familycaught$, yet they will sail on into it with a high degree of trust. Sure, the Government advertises the quality and fit-for-purpose of the familycaught$, despite the steady stream of complaints that they receive and ignore about it. This malicious disinformation makes it much harder for the public to gain a fair appraisal of familycaught$ operations, before it is too late for them.

In many cases, the warning comes horribly true and they are then surprised by what has hit on them and their wallet.

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