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MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

Sat 31st May 2014

Child Neglect – The Bomb in the Brain

As a country, NZ does need to address the protection of several hundreds of thousands of children. Their happiness is seriously being disadvantaged, their ability to manage and organise their lives is compromised and their ability to take up education is being wasted by missing the opportunity to have a proper developing upbringing.

Thu 29th May 2014

US slayings expose sick world of misogyny

Filed under: General — Pete @ 5:07 pm

Remember Elliot Rodger, the deranged 22 year old student who a few days ago killed 6 people before taking his own life?

In an article titled US slayings expose sick world of misogyny published by stuff.co.nz, Washington Post reporter feminasty Petula Dovrak has this to say:

Elliot Rodger has exposed the sick world of the Men’s Rights Activist movement, self-described “alphas” who fume about any and all the times they don’t call the shots with women, specifically the air-brushed, inflated and photo-shopped creatures they assume are there for them.

What please has Elliot Rodgers got to do with the Men’s Rights Activist movement? And where does it say MR activists describe themselves in such ways? Who at stuff.co.nz decided to publish this crap?

Petula Dovrak is a threat to society and should not be on the loose until she’s completed a 26 week understanding-and-accepting-men course.

Wed 28th May 2014

Make verbal abuse of kids ‘an offence’

Filed under: General — Downunder @ 10:49 am

Here’s a live one for you:

Detective Sergeant David Beattie, of New Plymouth, is fronting a call for legislation that recognises psychological abuse as an offence.

Any one remember the Bradford Bill?

Of course it’s fathers that are the bad guys here:

“I have examples of a father calling his 10-year-old daughter a “little whore” for misbehaving and the F word and the C word being regularly levelled at children,” he said.

It’s a stuff article by BLANTON SMITH who could have easily pursued the question but no, the LITTLE BITCH was happy to use the quote to have a go at fathers.

The article is open to comments.

Tue 27th May 2014

Domestic Violence Video

Filed under: General — Downunder @ 4:47 pm

See here:

You’ll want to click out straight away but don’t, watch it to the end.

Don’t comment unless you’ve watched the whole video – it’s making a point.

Mon 26th May 2014

Quality of Care Standard for Children

Filed under: Domestic Violence,General,Law & Courts,Sex Abuse / CYF — MurrayBacon @ 5:05 pm

Although children in NZ are “protected”, it isn’t to any specified Quality of Care.

On the basis that no real duty of care is required for children, the NZ Government slipped off the hook for any accountability at all!

Other posts show how the Government is substantially failing to protect workers from serious hazards in the workplace (or in the marital relationship too), this post unfortunately illustrates that children are the most dangerously unprotected of all.

For all of the great marketing performance of NZ Government, Clean Green and A great Place to Bring Up Children, the realities in NZ are as dangerous as in any other banana republic.

It is important to note and respect that Judith Collins acted for the child, now adult Prince.

For NZ to move forward into realistic protection of children, it is necessary that minimum standards of care for children be clearly specified.
This will naturally lead to a specification of the skills and resources required by parents (singly or as a couple), for children of various ages.

Sun 25th May 2014

Humorous songs

Filed under: General — Downunder @ 5:48 pm

I happened across this song entitled, ‘She only bitches when she breathes’.

I’ll have to sum it up this way
She could turn a straight man gay
She only bitches when she breathes.

I am sure there are some other good songs out there.

If you know of one, add a link in the comments.

Might help cheer up some sad fellow who arrives here hoping to find he is not alone in the world.

NZ Forestry and Market Madness

Filed under: General — Downunder @ 2:43 pm

While we can be grateful that we have not been burying forestry workers at the same rate, we cannot allow our forestry industry to continue to operate in the same way.

We are a disgrace by international standards.

The New Zealand forestry industry has been the subject of many recent media reports, some of which are recorded in a previous post New Zealand Forestry Industry out of control.

Last year (2013) saw our highest number of fatalities, with 10 forestry deaths being recorded across the country. As was noted recently by the Rotorua Coroner, we rate very poorly by international standards; countries with significantly larger operations having less than 10 fatalities a year.

To date, there has been one fatality on the 16th January.

What happened – did the industry suddenly develop a conscience? (more…)

Fighting Corruption overt and covert

Playlist: Depths of corruption

10 talks · 2h 22m · Curated by TED

Corruption manifests itself in many ways, some subtler than others. From anonymous companies to bribes to unjust electoral systems, these talks take you deep into ethically murky territory “¦ and offer bold ideas on what we can do about it.

Thu 22nd May 2014

Child Support Changes in UK

Filed under: General — triassic @ 5:14 pm

As of yesterday the Tories in the UK have a plan to eliminate the public paying for parents unable to come to a voluntary arrangement for Child Support. I do not know the costs involved in an administrative review in NZ but it is bound to be a shit load. The threshold for obtaining one of these in NZ is very low and unfair on the tax payer. Under the UK plan the parents will pay a penalty to take the matter to the State for a settlement, however it seems a bit unfair that mainly DADS will get a 20% penalty whilst MUMS lose just 4%. The UK calculation for child support is interesting. Bear in mind that the MEDIAN wage in NZ is $844 a week and UK $1000.
Is this a step in the right or wrong direction in your opinion???

Tue 20th May 2014

What to do when your relationship is over (separate, breakup, split up, divorce), and want to sort out ‘Parenting’.

Filed under: General,Law & Courts — Julie @ 3:22 pm

The internet is a wonderful tool to share information and menz is a popular site for New Zealand fathers looking for information regarding:

  • separation and divorce
  • parenting plans that become parenting orders
  • Shared parenting
  • Equal parenting
  • Full Custody aka day-to-day care of children
  • domestic violence
  • child support
  • and more

One such father didn’t seem to find what he was looking for which prompted me to revisit menz today to see what I could find with the question he asked in mind which was, “What do I do now [that I am separated]?”.

Mon 19th May 2014

Toothpaste accomplice.

Filed under: General — dunnuffinwrong @ 12:34 am

Please can anyone help with this very difficult situation i am in ?

I am a tradesman here in chch and i have recently been accused and charged with assault.
My partner has started an argument when I returned late – and then after attacking me with an electrical cord and then a wall hung mirror, she then rubbed toothpaste into her chest and neck area then scratched through the toothpaste and gone to my neighbour and claimed that i assaulted her.she has claimed in her statement to police that she was grabbed by the throat and thrown to the ground then held down as she was savagely and repeatedly beaten with punches and kicks, yet she stated that she was somehow otherwise completely uninjured apart from a few scratches and redness to her chest and neck.
The police took a photo of her chest showing redness (rash)and scratches and decided her story was legitamate.(or didn’t care )
The evidence photo shows a few scratches and redness to her chest and neck. But it also shows something else very strange.Somehow oddly , the skin on her hands has changed in colour with a distict yellowing of the skin and a grey purple coluring to her knuckles which looks only similar to the skin on a dead body.I have a very similar skin type and only have experienced this colouring to my skin during severe cold conditions.And even then not nearly so severe. it wasn’t cold.
From some online research i have descovered that toothpaste contains mono laurel phosphate which is a surfactant or foaming agent. This surfactant is highly irritant when applied to skin and i surmise that toothpaste scrubbed into the chest area causes a form of dermal shock that causes blood to drain from limbs and rush to the chest area creating a rash and simulating injury.
Im certain that my partner has used this ploy before and I need to find evidence that the toothpaste has caused the strange skin discolouration. Or find those she has done it to.
I’ve never been accused of assault and have no other charges. Previous or current.

I spent 50 hours in custody.then returned home to find some of my belongings packed in my car and ordered not to return.

Of course I’m angry with police handling of the matter.
But that’s not going to help me prove my innocence.
I have heard of this toothpaste trick described once before from the very same woman and once by her former friend. Apparently as I recall it even has a name.-when she “grabs her neck”.
I’m almost certain she has done this to others and will again unless I can prove pergery.
If anyone can help in any way please email me. Or reply to this post.
I have had a quote of around 8 thousand for representation from a barrister.
So it looks like I’m defending myself.
Its intimidating as I’ve not had any court experiences.
Any advice or referrals are more than appreciated.
Has anyone heard of this cunning ploy to destroy a mans life and reputation and future. ?

Sun 18th May 2014

Parental jealousy exposed?

Filed under: Domestic Violence,Gender Politics — MurrayBacon @ 10:00 pm

DailyMail – MailOnline
Boy, 10, beaten black and blue by wicked stepmother becomes poster boy for anti-domestic violence campaigners in China

Schoolboy Bin Bin tells teacher how his stepmother ‘beats me all the time’
Ten-year-old asked to show injuries as he was in pain whenever he moved
His body was covered head to toe in bruises and lacerations from beatings
Stepmother said to be jealous of youngster’s relationship with his father
The domestic abuse case has sparked outrage on the Chinese internet


Sat 17th May 2014

Shared Parenting – Evaluated honestly

Filed under: Gender Politics,Law & Courts — MurrayBacon @ 8:42 am

A Short Treatise on Woozles and Woozling

National Parents Organization

May 14, 2014 by Robert Franklin.

The excitement in the family law world occasioned by two papers – one by Dr. Richard Warshak that was endorsed by 110 eminent social scientists around the world and one by Dr. Linda Nielsen – has died down a bit with no blood actually having been shed. Whew, that was a close call. Warshak, et al and Nielsen thoroughly skewered work done by Dr. Jennifer McIntosh and colleagues that was widely used by various Australian organizations involved in parenting post-divorce to marginalize fathers, particularly regarding children under the age of three. McIntosh’s work was cited time and again for the proposition that fathers having their very young children overnight was a bad idea. Australian courts embraced the notion as did custody evaluators, lawyers and the like.

About that, Warshak, et al said this:

Advocates are promoting a report issued by an Australian government agency (McIntosh, Smyth, & Kelaher, 2010) as a basis for decisions regarding parenting plans for children of preschool age and younger. Accounts of the report appearing in the media, in professional seminars, in legislative briefs, and in court directly contradict the actual data, overlook results that support opposite conclusions, and mislead their audience.

A “background paper” describing the Australian report, posted on the Internet (McIntosh & the Australian Association for Infant Mental Health, 2011), illustrates all three characteristics.

In short, according to 111 prominent scientists, both McIntosh and fellow authors, and advocates that use their work to marginalize fathers in the lives of their children, make claims that “contradict the actual data, overlook results that support opposite conclusions, and mislead their audience.”

Thu 15th May 2014

Budget 2014

Filed under: Boys / Youth / Education,Child Support,Gender Politics,Law & Courts — MurrayBacon @ 4:10 pm

Budget 2014

The Government has fairly successfully managed the costs and social upheaval associated with Christchurch Earthquake.

The budget has addressed large tax cuts to the top end of earners and generally not addressed tax evasion, particularly by corporations and wealthy individuals. These problems pervade the western world, as a result of ownership of political parties right across the spectrum, by extremely wealthy individuals. This conflict of interest can only be addressed, by tracking back all major donations to political parties and publishing them, after each election. This budget has not addressed these conflicts of interest. One example of such influence, is the Sky City ‘gambling deal’.

The budget has constructively addressed housing costs, supply and quality.

The budget has assisted parents, by subsidising costs of medical treatment, for children under 13 years.

Tue 13th May 2014

Female hits male makes a good bit of TV fun!!!

Filed under: General — triassic @ 8:12 pm

What a weird and hypocritical society we live in. Beyonce’s sister, Solange Knowles, attacks Jay Z and most media see it as a joke. This is not a slap but punches and kicks over a period of minutes with intent to injure. TVNZ 7 Sharp’s Mike Hosking treated it as good humour. This message of inconsistency in public values is dreadful and sets a precedent for both male and females to view violence of this magnitude to be acceptable. A lot of men on this site will have been locked up in jail for a lot lot less. I will be watching with anticipation with what happens to Solange regarding this event.

Mon 12th May 2014

Single mum hopes ad will help her have second child

Filed under: General — Lukenz @ 9:08 am

Story here.


I’m not sure how this would work for the father of the first child.

Does he get to pay for the mother and both children? Does the state get to pay for the baby that derives from the sperm donor? Or should the mother pay for this one? Maybe the sperm donor should front up with a few bucks and a free house for this woman?

You know I really don’t think the state had this situation in mind when they thought of ways to pay for the children (and mothers lifestyle choices) of solo parent families.

Sun 11th May 2014

Labour’s compulsory kiwisaver will kill dads

Filed under: Child Support,Gender Politics,General — ashish @ 7:55 pm

With all the discussions going around Labour’s proposed policy on compulsory Kiwisaver, I was quite surprised there was hardly any discussion around how this would impact the non-custodial parents in this country, a group that consists mostly of males.

Labour wants to make a compulsory 9% off the gross wages. Anyone paying child support is having at most 18% per child being taken off their gross income. The cost of living for the non-custodial parent, or any custodial children, are not necessarily taken into account without a pocket-emptying fight. As it is, with the rising costs of living, it is becoming difficult to survive after paying child support, imagine, what is going to happen if another forced 9% is taken off the gross.

It is almost certain that IRD will be looking after the compulsory Kiwisaver payments. Everyone is well aware how quick IRD is to put on fines if there is a missed payment, how quick they are to put up the liability with a small increase in income, and how slow in balancing should the income decrease. And to think they will be monitoring this makes me shudder to the bones.

Not everyone is blessed with an understanding ex. Honestly, I would be an extremely stupid NCP, if I even for an instant think that voting for Labour would be any beneficial.

Sat 10th May 2014

Public Masturbation to raise awareness?

Filed under: General — Downunder @ 2:05 pm

Sex Toy

This, apparently, is to raise awareness of female circumcision.

It is doing the rounds on social media and has a discussion here. One astute commenter (male obviously) making the observation;

Strange how this bird can ride a sex toy in public and no one says a word but … if I used a Masturbator in public, I’d be arrested and locked up!

Yes, I have to agree. I think you’d be hard pressed to find an excuse that would satisfy a judge as to why you were masturbating in public.

Surprise me – what novel explanation might you ‘come’ up with?

(If you didn’t know – this is what your kids and grandkids are looking at on their phones.)

Pussy Pass (3) for Judith Collins

Filed under: Gender Politics,General — Downunder @ 11:38 am

We know, and it is often discussed on Menz, how women are held to different standards of accountability. In this post I want to look at a social anomaly in the way society responds to women.

The recent post Pussy Pass for Judith Collins looks at how British Prime Minister David Cameron and New Zealand Prime Minister John Key handled the financial scandals surrounding their respective ministers, Maria Miller and Judith Collins.

There are differences between the two situations, in that Maria Miller had her hand in the parliamentary till over expenses whereas Collins was using her ministerial warrant to advantage a company her family is heavy involved with, which also brings a cost to the taxpayer.

Both Prime Ministers initially went into bat for their ministers; Cameron didn’t know when to give up, and a severe public backlash eventually left a British prime minister red faced at his own behaviour – trying to defend the indefensible.

Key on the other hand (more…)

Thu 8th May 2014

CYF caregiver found guilty

Filed under: Sex Abuse / CYF — Bruce S @ 7:56 pm

CYFS demonstrates, yet again, their complete and utter incompetence by placing kids in the care of a rapist! When will the New Zealand public demand the dissolution of this gaggle of amateurs? I fail to understand how anyone with one ounce of compassion can see how CYFS benefits our children and our community. If the judgement of CYFS is so impaired that they cannot identify safe homes for the children CYFS have “adjudged” need care; then should we not be questioning their competence to adjudicate the removal of children from their parents in the first place?

As usual; CYFS go through their hand wringing ritual and hollow apology routine; but they’ll just carry on as usual; no consequences so a free license to just do it all over again! Disgusting!

As reported in Stuff today (8 May 2014)

A Northland Child Youth and Family caregiver has been found guilty of sexual and physical assaults against children in his care.

In the High Court in Whangarei today, the jury returned 21 guilty verdicts and 2 not guilty verdicts against Taite Hemi Kupa, 57. They deliberated for two days. Guilty verdicts on three counts of rape, one of attempted rape, six charges of unlawful sexual violation by sexual connection, and one sexual violation were by majority verdict, 11 to one. Ten guilty verdicts on charges of assault were unanimous.

Kupa was found not guilty on two counts of sexual violation. The assaults were against six different children in his care all aged under 15, and the rape and sexual assault were against two girls under 15.

Kupa was remanded in custody until sentencing in June.

The jury was shown video recordings of interviews with the two female victims who suffered sexual abuse. One girl told of Kupa doing “sexual things” to her and him telling her never to tell anyone. One night when she was half asleep Kupa entered her bedroom and raped her, she said in the interview. “He told us not to tell anyone. It stressed me out, I didn’t know what to do,” she said. Kupa would kick the children in the bottom, pinch their ears and stand them against a wall forcing the other children to hit them, as discipline the court heard. When one child misbehaved at night he sprayed her and her bed with a hose.

He would discipline children by withholding food, feeding them grass sandwiches and serving them plates of stones.
In her video interview the second girl said she had been hit lightly with a broom by Kupa. “He said I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone what happened here and I’ve been keeping that promise ever since. This is the first time I have told anyone,” she said in the interview from February 2013.

Conservative lobby group, Family First, said the verdict revealed systemic issues in CYF and called for an inquiry into its policies and procedures. “There is obviously some huge flaws in the vetting system of caregivers, and in the level and frequency of care and communication between social workers and children in care,” national director, Bob McCoskrie, said.

Child Youth and Family expressed their sorrow and promised ongoing support for the children and their families. “We are devastated this abuse happened to children and young people in our care,” Marion Heeney, Child, Youth and Family Regional Director, Te Tai Tokerau said

“It’s our hope that the verdict will bring some closure at least to the victims of Mr Kupa’s crimes.”

Wed 7th May 2014

Woman appeals divorce money split

Filed under: General,Law & Courts — Bruce S @ 8:25 pm

From STUFF today (7 May 2014)

A woman says she should not be responsible for half her former husband’s secret borrowings against their million-dollar family home. The woman thought they had a debt-free home and they even had a party to celebrate paying it off, the Court of Appeal was told today.

Court hearings have refined the issues over the way the former couple’s property should be split, but she still balks at having half the bank debt he incurred coming out of her share of the property. He had borrowed about $137,000. Neither does she want to compensate him for half the value of $120,000 she secretly put into a trust intended for their daughter.

After a career in the police, she built a successful business and was the main breadwinner for the family while her husband had irregular earnings from what one judge described as “somewhat fitfully” working as a tradesman. The husband also had distributions from his father’s “substantial” family trust. Over 18 years before the couple separated in 2008, she had a taxable income of $1.78 million while his was $52,000. But the husband had received up to $744,000 from his family’s trust, and the wife received other payments of about $160,000.

Two courts have refused the woman’s request for an unequal sharing of the relationship property. She has asked the Court of Appeal to hear her appeal on specific parts of the division, including whether she has to pay half the bank loan and pay him for the money that went into the trust for their daughter.
In Wellington today, the court reserved its decision.
The Family Court and the High Court have both refused to fence off the bank debt as being only the husband’s.
It was decided that he had used the money for the benefit of both in the course of managing the household affairs and bringing up the couple’s daughter.
He said he was too embarrassed to tell her that he had to keep borrowing.
The couple’s daughter, now in her 20s, has a health condition that means she may not be able to work.
Without her husband’s knowledge in 2006, the woman had put $120,000 into a trust set up to benefit the daughter and failed to refer to the money in the first eight formal statements she made in the relationship property dispute with her husband.
The Family Court found that putting the money into the trust had been intended to defeat any claim the husband had to it. As a result, the woman was ordered to pay him $66,250. The couple were not named in public documents relating to their dispute.

It seems “equality” is coming home to roost; well in the marriage property settlement sector at least. Clearly the winners here are the lawyers; this woman just won’t accept that what’s good for a man is good for a woman too….so she keeps going to court.

Just go elsewhere is the answer …. ?

Filed under: Gender Politics,General — golfa @ 3:56 pm

A suggestion to have women-only swimming sessions in Hamilton has caused plenty of waves, with some people saying there should be male-only sessions as well.

Hamilton City Council’s manager for recreational swimming, Mathew Baylis says the proposal is not do to with segregation, but more to do with making women feel more comfortable being in the pool.

He says if the proposal goes ahead, they would only be looking at 90 minute sessions only once to twice a week.

Mr Baylis says there are other pools that men can use.

Ideology and Dysfunction in Family Law canada by Grant Brown

By Grant A. Brown | May 6, 2014 For several decades now, fathers have faced significant, widespread bias in family courts across Canada. But as author Grant Brown shows in this free e-book, many of the popular prejudices behind this bias simply have no basis in law or fact. In Ideology And Dysfunction In Family Law – How Courts Disenfranchise Fathers, Brown shows us why dads are getting such a raw deal – and what can be done about it.

Download Now Epub PDF

2014 Election Questions

Filed under: Gender Politics,General,Men's Health — Downunder @ 2:39 pm

One of the issues being canvased in the lead up to this year’s election, is why a growing number of New Zealanders are not voting. Over 800,000 voters chose not to cast a vote in our last parliamentary election, and we’ve had a couple of spats amongst regular commenters here at Menz, about the validity of the vote, for men in New Zealand.

My prediction is that this year even less people will vote, and that appears to be a common concern in the political arena judging by the conversations that have arisen on various platforms. It has become apparent that no one, including politicians, actually have any idea of the demographic make up of this non-voting group, or perhaps more importantly, the reasons why voters are not turning up to the polls.

In respect of the question ‘why don’t people vote’ comments such as “they’re brown and rural” or “they’re ignorant and lazy”, (which is not particularly helpful) were thrown up, but I didn’t see anyone giving consideration to the possibility that it was more likely to be men than women, in this growing group of non-voters. (more…)

Legislation and Policy Changes for this Election?

Filed under: Child Support,Domestic Violence,General,Law & Courts,Sex Abuse / CYF — MurrayBacon @ 8:13 am

Work Required to Change to Open Marketplace for Parenting Plan Certification Services

Below is a list of areas of legislation needing to be changed. This has been taken from my Submission to Review of Family Court.
Please add points left out into comments.
Where suggestions I have made are unrealistic or unfair to women or childless persons, please make appropriate comments.
If you wish to make suggestions or discussions confidentially, please contact me privately.
This list is presently only aimed at familycaught$ and child protection. We need to consider men’s physical and mental health too.

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