Hi there,

I have just recieved my second child support bill? in the mail. It is $450 per month for a child that I have never seen or been able to see. The boy in question was born 3 years ago yet the child support demands only emerged last month through the IRD.

Imagine the following circumstances….
– As a horny 19 year old I met a cute girl of 24.
– We hooked up and she told me she was on the pill and refused to use condoms.
– It turns out that she miscarried twins three weeks prior to meeting me.
– She lived with her divorced, alcoholic mother and the 5 year old son of her sister who is in prison for GBH.
– She fell pregnant.
– She told me all she wanted was a child and would not abort.
– Said that she wanted never to hear from me again and not to try and “find” her.
– I dealt with this by considering myself a sperm donor and got on with my life.
– 3 years on and the child support bill comes through and I have no idea where my son is and how to contact her and why suddenly I have to pay even though she “never wanted to hear from me or see me again.” I had considered a relationship with the child but she refused me this and I had to get over it and carry on…

I feel like I was tricked into giving her a child and she manipulated me when (as I said) I was nothing more than a horny young man, drunk on the attention that she gave me. Now I feel that I am paying to support her and whatever habits she has…and have got nothing in return except for a lousy shag.

Do I have any options? I’d really appreciate someone to talk to about this as I have just paid them and put them out of my mind and it’s killing me inside.

The-Milky

Do you see the events under single parents on the right hand side of this site. That is our group and we organise events for single parents and their children.

But we are not just for parents that are single and looking after children full time. Most of our parents are in some sort of arranged shared parenting deal. And most work. AND Dads and Mums.

We get alot of free stuff offered for parents and children regarding outings from numerous charity groups and fund raisers. For instance, live shows, circus, santa parade seating lollies and free parking and many other events. Also we create outings that are small costs or free so you can be with a group rather than on your own spending time with your children and letting them meet other children in the same position. And, most importantly … we network and support each other. We have adult activities so that parents get out and meet others and this is not always easy when you have recently broken up. Plus it is good to gain support from others who are and have been in similar situations as you as a lone parent. BTW, we never mind you bringing new partners.

If you need furniture of free counselling or other such stuff we can help. Maybe even free food now and then. We can also put you onto others to get scholarships for your children and much more. There is a lot that is offered for parents struggling in the community. You are not alone and there are no fees.

If you want to be on a list with another 100 odd parents to be kept up to date on activities and promotions please get in touch.
Auckland Single Parents Trust

Latest University stats warn of looming crisis

?

?

The latest annual survey from the NZ Vice-Chancellors’ Committee has shown a massive and widening gap in the make-up university graduates, says United Future education spokesperson, Judy Turner.?

? “Over the last ten years, males shrunk to just 41% in 2005, down from 48% in 1996.? This is a massive decrease and should be sending warning bells ringing through the Minister’s office,” she says.?

? “The statistics for Maori is even more depressing, with only 34% of Maori university graduates male, compared to 66% female.?

? “
New Zealand males completing their Masters level in 2000 made up 46% in 2000, but in 2005 accounted for only 33%.? ?

? “This problem is reaching epidemic proportions.? Many in the tertiary education sector are trying to have the seriousness of this gender gap recognised, but their warnings are falling on deaf ears from the Beehive.” ?

Massey
University’s Pro Vice-Chancellor in education, James Chapman warned last month that more needed to be done to help restore the gender balance, after he observed a graduation ceremony where only 15 out of 158 graduates were men.?

Dr Paul Baker, Rector of Waitaki Boys’ High School, who has served as a Government advisor for education, has said that
New Zealand’s response to the gender gap at secondary level ‘has been one of denial, delay and trivialisation’.?

? “Our education system is failing men and boys badly.? To what level must the ratios have to fall to before the Government will acknowledge this looming social disaster and take action?”?

Can anyone put me in touch with Alan?? I cant find a phone number and the two different email addresses I have give delivery failed notices
Cheers

Straight talk… (all quoted)

The 20th Century may well be viewed by historians as the ‘Women’s Hour’, the century that saw women progressively get their proverbial feet on the rungs on the ladder of opportunity. The notion was that women were human beings too, of equal value to men, and not mere chattels, and I for one am very grateful to the suffragettes for the ground breaking work they lived and in some cases died for.

The women’s movement continues today advocating for women on matters where it is clear that there are social barriers to participation in some aspect of life and achievement.

However as we launch into the 21st Century I confess to feeling more than a little uncomfortable about the lack of advocacy for men on the issues where they believe they are marginalised relative to women.

While huge amounts of money have been spent on helping women to gain entry into vocations that have been traditionally male dominated, little or no money is spent on the reverse. There is growing evidence that changes in the field of education have seen boys failing in greater numbers. Men’s health issues don’t seem to get the same money thrown at them as is spent on women’s. In the Family Court, men report feeling that their role as fathers is of lesser value, and that court rulings reflect this.

Have we progressed passed the days where gains for one gender have to be at the expense of the other? Do we want to live through another century characterised by the battle of the sexes? Is it possible that while continuing to work for improved opportunities for women, we could attend with equal sincerity to concerns men have?

I certainly hope so.

QUOTES:
“I myself have never been able to find out precisely what a feminist is. I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat”
Rebecca West 1913

“Looking for more time with your children, shared parenting, fair property settlements, reasonable child support payments, protection against domestic violence and equality in all areas of life? Check out what we can achieve together”
Quote from a “Men’s Right” website

Did you know about this??? It doesn’t seem to be much of a big deal. And men only get a week while women are getting a month just for breast cancer.

So what is happening in New Zealand for this extremely important event considering the statistics that men are in dire strait needs for health? Don’t ask on the streets because you are bound to get an earful from wives complaining about how their men are pushed off health lists continually. They don’t like the way their men who have supported their family financially for much of their lifetime are having to be put completely off waiting lists because the health services don’t care for them as they do for women. The health system would not dare allow a woman’s breast screening for cancer to go over a small time of weeks but our males in society can go for months before they get assistance. What’s that all about?

I have asked Specialist Doctors and read what Nutritionists say and GPs. They all seem to think that men don’t come in for illnesses soon enough. That they are prepared to tough it out. So they blame men for being ignorant. Excuse me, but if that is the case then any normal doctor would be putting men as crucial on lists. Why isn’t this happening?

But men in NZ are treated less than women. Their rights are of no value. And why? Because feminist believe that men ruled for 1000’s of years. Show me one guy on this planet who has ruled the world for thousands of years. Get over it feminists. This is selective crap. The people alive today, both male and female have every right to decent health care in this country.
Now, if you have a few spare minutes of your time to care about yourself or your man … but if not you or him then the elderly men that fought against the Japanese to take over your country or those that have busted their arses to build this great nation, please e-mail these people. And just copy what I write if you are busy.

Could you please put some time aside on your program for this very important “International Men’s Week” We do think males are important and we do think that it is relevant.

[email protected] or call us on 09 916 7281

Tv3

You most likely could do better so do so.

Or ..
Can you write an article on this important International week being Men’s Health week. We do consider men important in this country.

[email protected]

Once again you could do better if you wish.

But we must be grateful for what mensline and stuff have written

Also kiwifamiles

And age concern but that was last year. And of course one cannot every go past the work that this group does. Nor this man.

Mr Cullen is not supporting his baby, and will revenue minister Peter Dunne be collecting child support from this delinquent deadbeat who is having a multi million dollar overseas fling at the expense of New Zealand Child Support Payers.

Many Fathers simply have no choice, their child support is deducted from their pay at source and delivered to the consolidated fund, and while that is the case they also have ever right to grumble at the finance ministers behaviour.

Fathers that have no choice but to pay tax and child support have every right to expect that this money will be delivered to the benefit of their children and that the Revenue Minister and the Finance minister will act in the interests of their children.

We hear the calls from Mr Cullen telling the man in the street to save in KiwiSaver, and the Revenue Minister, to pay up and shut up or we will lock you up, while they are gambling Millions of our children’s dollars on the currency market.

New Zealand men are becoming slaves to an unconstitutional government that squanders their labour. Is this is what is called acting in the public interest.

Look what Mr Cullen, with full knowledge and agreement of Peter Dunne, Minister responsible for Child Support and United Future Leader, is trying to slip through.

This is laying the groundwork to stopping by tax-police at the boarder. Not for the commission of any crime but because they are a member of a group of people who allegedly owe child support tax. No Court just tax officials, no trail just detention, and collection of Child Tax

Its the precursor to further draconian collection methods and yet again ignoring the root cause /s of the problem. Then will come the name and shame websites, then the pizza boxes and the imprisonment.

It will be like the good old USA! Check out Support The Movie Look at the disaster that similar systems are causing in the USA. This is reflected the world over. The system creates the debt, its flawed and produces debt as an outcome (About 70% of Liable Parents are in debt!)

The Taxation (Annual Rates, Business Taxation, KiwiSaver and Remedial Matters) Bill introduces the new R&D tax credit, company tax rate transitional and consequential changes, the KiwiSaver employer tax credit and compulsory employer contributions, tax incentives to promote charitable giving, liberalisation of a range of tax penalties, and child support data matching between Inland Revenue and the NZ Customs Service. For information on these and the many other changes in the bill see the Commentary on the bill.

Submissions please. One Page is Fine, Just get them in and request to be heard by the select committee.

Regards

Scrap

Last Sunday, I attended a church service. I guess I just felt like it. It was huge. Not just the building but the amount of people that attended. When I was a young Catholic, churches were anti each other as if which ever church you belonged to was right and all the rest were wrong. You were saved in the mind of the church you went to and your neighbour next door was going to hell because they had it wrong. And over the years it seemed that many turned on Catholics which I suppose was them challenging the old school way.

In THIS church, I saw congregations from all different church groups come together and bond in their praise to God and for some, their respect for the sabbath. There was not one leader as in a paster but 11 of them. 11 leaders all able to work together. I got the chance to talk to 2 of them and ask questions. How much do they know about feminism and the UN and the elite? What are they doing to stand against the evil doing in the world? The answer to the first question was, “not much” and the answer to the second question was that churches have their own callings. Church as a representation of people means that each has their own department. Destiny church is one department fighting for God and good through politics. Others teach the news to new comers, others work in the community like the Salvation Army and so forth. I personally think it is remarkable how well this is working and how they are an enemy to feminists who want to destroy the Patriarchy without really knowing it and other players that want to destroy religion. They are a movement themselves to fight for families and against the state.

Mind you I have also spoken to an elder of Jehovah Witness and am aware that not all christian churches are accepting of becoming one congregation under God. Infact some church goers will not attend any other church other than their own. Back to the idea that one is saved and the other are not. lol

However the ones that are working together do make a huge difference. Somehow, someway they banded and still respect each other and give each other space. One paster told me that they all dabble in politics sometimes and they all teach new comers but they understand each other and support each other. He also told me that each person has their own calling from God which decides what they will do in the work.

I guess that is like … finding what you are good at and using those abilities for the good work of the movement and finding where you feel comfortable. I know they weren’t always like this but they work so well together now. One paster is incharge of youth and another is for something else and so on.

I believe this is what the men’s movement is doing gradually and for sure the feminist movement did the same.

Publicly, we all know that media contituents are biased even though most of us will not admit it.

All reporters lean one way or another as it relates to the subjects and/or people they cover. Mainstream media leans to the left, while the alternative media, such as talk radio leans to the right. Whether it be in politics, music, film, or the fashion industry, the media has its favorites and often makes it known.

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“Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men.”

~ Lord Acton, in a letter to Bishop Mandell Creighton, 1887.

Around the world corruption is undermining judicial systems, denying citizens access to justice and the basic human right to a fair and impartial trial, sometimes even a trial at all.

“Equal treatment before the law is a pillar of democratic societies. When courts are corrupted by greed or political expediency, the scales of justice are tipped, and ordinary people suffer,” said Huguette Labelle, Chair of Transparency International. “Judicial corruption means the voice of the innocent goes unheard, while the guilty act with impunity.”

Judicial corruption usually falls into two categories: bribery and political interference in the judicial process by the legislative or executive branch.

Despite decades of reforms to protect judicial independence, the pressure to rule in favour of political interests remains intense. Problems remain though many judges around the world are indeed acting with integrity.

But for judges who refuse to be compromised, political retaliation can be swift and harsh. Failure to appoint judicial officials on merit can lead to the selection of a pliant, corruptible judiciary. “Problematic” judges can be reassigned or have sensitive cases transferred to more pliable judges.

Interference from politicians or civil servants can also buy “legal” cover for embezzlement, nepotism, cronyism and illegal political decisions. Such interference can be as blatant as physical threats and intimidation, and as subtle as the manipulation of judicial appointments, salaries and conditions of service.

NewsMax.com

I’m about to go to my first Admin Review. Apparently I earn a small fortune, have a small fortune tucked away, and am extremely anti my daughter. I have no idea what I’ve done with my fortune and my partner is going to be very angry when she finds out I’ve lost this small fortune, plus I quite like my daughter, altho I do tell her off when she is rude. Anyway, I’m being sarcastic. I would really appreciate any advice (including horror stories) of what to expect in an Admin Review and how to approach one.

I’ve read a few horror stories about what goes on with Family Court decisions… are the Admin Reviews anything like this? My main concern is that they can assess you on your “earning capacity”, meaning that they have the right to assess me on what I might earn if I worked 20 hours a day, leaving my partner to do all the childcare (we have a baby of our own). (more…)

Scoop Article

You just want believe this….

KiwiSaver

Is KiwiSaver good for young men? That’s what their website says. In short I see many young men being bitterly disappointed down the line after separation when the ex and her lawyer through the assessment of future child support lay claim to KiwiSaver funds. Many are going to find it is not a retirement fund, once you have a child it will be an easy target. Just another investment for the girls. Don’t forget to get your kiwisaver claim into the nearest family court when you separate – Just being cynical – don’t think so.

From: http://www.stuff.co.nz/4084556a19716.html

Children from broken marriages are twice as likely to be prescribed attention-deficit drugs as children whose parents stay together, a Canadian researcher said on Monday, and she said the reasons should be investigated.

More than 6 per cent of 633 children from divorced families were prescribed Ritalin, compared with 3.3 per cent of children whose parents stayed together, University of Alberta professor Lisa Strohschein reported in the Canadian Medical Association Journal.

The study of more than 4,700 children started in 1994, while all the families were intact, Strohschein said. They followed the children’s progress to see what happened to their families and to see what drugs were prescribed.

“It shows clearly that divorce is a risk factor for kids to be prescribed Ritalin,” Strohschein said.

Other studies have shown that children of single parents are more likely to get prescribed drugs such as Ritalin. But is the problem caused by being born to a never-married mother, or some other factor?

“So the question was, ‘is it possible that divorce acts a stressful life event that creates adjustment problems for children, which might increase acting out behavior, leading to a prescription for Ritalin?'” Strohschein said in a statement.

“On the other hand, there is also the very public perception that divorce is always bad for kids and so when children of divorce come to the attention of the health-care system – possibly because parents anticipate their child must be going through adjustment problems – doctors may be more likely to diagnose a problem and prescribe Ritalin.”

Ritalin, known generically as methylphenidate, is a psychostimulant drug most commonly prescribed for the treatment of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder in children.

There is a big debate in much of the developed world over whether it may be over-prescribed – given to children who do not really need it. In March, a University of California, Berkeley study found that the use of drugs to treat ADHD has more than tripled worldwide since 1993.

Strohschein said it is possible that some mental health problems pre-date the divorce, so “it is possible that these kids had these problems before, but are only being identified afterward.”

Her study was not designed to find out why the children were prescribed the drug.

“I might be finished with the survey, but I am not necessarily finished with the question,” she said in a telephone interview.

I recommend that you read this 4 page article its enlightening as to how paternity fraud (aka mis attributed paternity) reeks havoc for men.

Bert Riddick has spent 13 years paying for a girl he didn’t father. He hopes that recent changes in the law will finally provide restitution.
By Denise Nix
Staff Writer

After 13 years of paying child support for a girl he did not father, Bert Riddick finally sees an end to an ordeal that nearly tore his life apart.

Now that a second DNA test has determined there is no chance he is the father of the now-18-year-old girl, Riddick is again asking the court to dismiss the paternity case against him.

Just a reminder for all of you who have forgotten Gordon Dowler’s case.

Its only been 2 years and still the mother is the gate-keeper, IRD is obstructive to fathers who may be experiencing paternity fraud and nothing has changed!

Regards

Scrap

John Carvel, social affairs editor
Monday June 4, 2007
SocietyGuardian.co.uk

An overhaul of NHS maternity services to stop doctors and midwives treating fathers as irrelevant is proposed today in a report from the charity Fathers Direct.

Rob says,

Female privilege is so embedded in our social and political landscape that many of us don’t even see it, our attentions being inclined toward the unusual rather than the commonplace. Establishment power doesn’t see it, nor do many women.
Some men see it, many sense it, and a few have felt the full force of it.

Just this weekend gone I read and used 2 articles for another site and if I hadn’t of known about female privilege and how DV uses the Duluth method which is non scientific but based on men are perpetrators and women are victims, I wouldn’t have noticed how we are accepting men as violent and women as the meek, sweet sex who would only hurt a male because he forced her to as a victim at almost infancy.
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by Bernard Francis

I overheard a conversation in a cafe recently. A woman talked about how she and her daughter were good friends. The woman must have been in her mid-40s: her daughter had just turned 20.

The mother’s delusional. No 20-year-old I know of wants their parent to be their best friend. They’d be the laughing stock or their mates. Can you imagine the daughter saying to her mother, “Come on, Mum, hurry up. My mates are here and we have to get going so we don’t miss the illegal street race. And don’t forget the booze.” … I think not.

Parents are not supposed to be their offspring’s best friend. They are to raise them and install values and morals, not get hammered with them. And, anyhow, a 20-year-old doesn’t know which side is up.

For the first five years they’re learning not to wet themselves, how to speak and feed themselves. For the next 10 years they think they know it all, but in reality know bugger all. And for the last five years, if they’re lucky, they may realise they haven’t even scratch the surface yet and are willing to learn.

So, in adult terms, the cafe woman is best mates with a 5-year old. My role at home is to tell my daughter – when she thinks she knows it all – to pull her head in and sit down.

www.aucklander.co.nz

I want to share with you my experience in the men’s movement because I think it is important to help changes.

We all know that NZ is a small place and that if we put ourselves out there we will get labelled. What label we wear to many people depends on what they think of us. We all know that the Father’s coalition has been labelled disgruntled fathers to the leaders but the public are sympathetic to the fathers and those in the community groups are also because these people can see the bias the leaders such as feminist lawyers and judges and politicians show through their words and actions. For instant, what sort of a potitician calls fathers DEADBEATS? If you just use common sense you can see that these politicians are horrible people. And lawyers that use DV orders against fathers are also horrible people plus greedy.

But what about everyone else? What about the media? Are all these men and women anti men? No, they are not. Ask them. From my learning they don’t like to interview the men’s movement because they find the men so angry. But then when you explain why the men they have interviewed in the past are angry, they sort of want to hear some more.
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Fast-food chain Burger King has withdrawn two television advertisements deemed sexually exploitative through their “cheesy” use of bikini-clad women.

The Advertising Standards Complaints Board, in decisions issued yesterday, found both commercials breached an industry code of practice forbidding the use of sex appeal simply to draw attention to a product.

If a good looking well developed male was dressed in bathing trunks and developed 10cm nipples when eating chewing gum surely that add would be banned?

Find out what the Advertising Standards Authority ruled!

Complaint: The television advertisements for Mentos Ice Gum (Key Numbers MENT 045/075 and: MENT 045/076) started with a bare-chested man putting a piece of Mentos Ice Gum into his mouth. Suddenly his nipples extend about 10cm. He then proceeds to walk around town where he is whistled and waved at. He also uses the nipples to catch a Frisbee and then hold an elevator for a female by pressing the buttons with the nipples and he offers her a piece of gum. Both advertisements end with a pack shot and voice-over that says “Stay cool and icy fresh. Mentos Ice chewing gum”.

Do I detect a double standard here in these public servants yet again?

Regards

Scrap

The Sunday Star Times carried an article on weekend entitled Crackdown on white collar family assualts.

The article announced that the the Government is planning a multi million dollar crackdown on Family violence. “..Including trying to combat the largely hidden problem of white collar domestic violence”

It goes on to talk about how Statistic New Zealand figures show arrests for reported domestic violence assaults by males on femaleshave increased dramatically in the last decade with abuse worsening in every ethic group.

Of course they include a neat little table in the article showing “The Numbers” .

Based on the numbers for the total of the charts Total domestic violence arrests by all enithicty categories is :

1997=5891
2006=7547

Thats a difference (in total) of 1656 arrests.

No effort is made to explain this increase, rather “Inspector Ged Byers , the police national family violence co-ordinator says there where 63000 domestic violence incidents last year, but experts believe the true figures are five times higher…..”
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I know it is short notice but ‘Campbell Live’ tonight is asking for the public to put forward questions to John Keys for next years election promises through emails right now.
Now would be an opportunity to ask John Keys about men’s issues in fromt of the public.

Campbell Live

Republic of NZ Party Education spokesperson and Rotorua candidate Mr. Paul Haynes says Trevor Mallard, the former education minister, has left us a lame duck legacy in education.

Full Release:

Male teachers have been sexually harassed out of the education system. Where are the male role models at a time when many families are fatherless? This is a double whammy socially and a national shame.

I have only just noticed that there is a column called ‘Male Call’ in the local newspaper on the page for ‘family matters’. I am not sure how long this has been happening but it is new to me. Here is the latest.

Give me the simple life
by Bernard Francis

I went to my daughter’s camp as a helper for four days and was amazed at how the approach to discipline has changed in the past 40 or so years – and not for the best, in my opinion. I’ll give a few examples of then and now, none of which, I might add, happened at the recent school camp I attended.

Example one: Little Boris disrupts other pupils in class. In the past he’d have been sent to the principal’s office for a smack on the bottom and sent back to class to sit still. Now, he’s sent to counselling for anger management and told he’s got ADHD and can do what he wants.

Example two: Little Boris gets hold of leftover fireworks and blows up an ant’s nest. In the past, ants die and Dad gives Boris a pat on the head for getting rid of ants. Now, the police arrive and arrest Boris for a terrorist attack, CYFS investigate and remove Boris from house and Dad goes on the terror watch-list.

Example three: Little Boris falls and scrapes his knee. Male teacher finds him crying and puts his arm around his shoulders for comfort. In the past, Boris feels better and carries on playing. Now, teacher is accused of paedophilia, loses his job and faces jail.

The good old days weren’t good, but at least they were uncomplicated.

Read male call online at www.theaucklander.co.nz