MENZ Issues: news and discussion about New Zealand men, fathers, family law, divorce, courts, protests, gender politics, and male health.

I’d like to post an op-ed piece which our News Editor, John T. Smith, has recently released to a number of newspapers around the world. This is an effort to catalyse some useful discussion about the direction the men’s movement has been taking in some places, and is not intended as a criticism of any group in particular. Obviously, the Fathers-4-Justice play a large rôle in recent press coverage in the U.K., but they are not alone in having raised the eyebrows of press and public alike.

We believe this is an important issue, and invite comments and ideas from all camps of opinion, whether posted here or on the World Fathers Union weblog, The Father’s Tale.

Over to you, John T.–

Is Bad Press Better Than No Press?

by John T. Smith, News Editor, World Fathers Union

In recent weeks, various organisations working for equitable treatment for fathers in family courts have garnered a satisfyingly large amount of press coverage in a short time. I say satisfyingly large, because how can we not feel pleased that the press are paying attention to us, no matter what they are actually saying? I have seen a baker’s dozen of stories cross my desk in the last two days, all from major media outlets in the U.K., New Zealand, and North America.

But there’s a somewhat questionable bun in that basket: We’re getting attention, yes…but what will be the general sentiment of the public as a result? In Montréal, a distraught father who had not seen his child in seven years climbed a billboard next to a major bridge and the resulting traffic snarls and commuter ire became the story of the week, being heard as far away as Texas, in the southern U.S. In London, a live telecast of the lottery drawing was interrupted by F4J protestors, including a woman. In Christchurch, The Father’s Coalition distributed pamphlets identifying divorce lawyers and staff of the family court to their neighbours, bringing down the wrath of the local bar association and generating distinctly unfriendly coverage in The Press of that city.
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I was in Russia last year and met a lady, Natasha, in small town 400km north of Moscow. When she knew I was from NZ she was excited and wanted to talk to me about her life time hero, John Walker. Over the last year I have built up a good relationship with her and met some of her Russian friends here. If you are single, intelligent and want a real lady in your life you have better odds of success with a Russian one.

Below is a letter I received from Natasha that gives a good insight into the mind of a 37yr old Russian Woman.

……..I could never understand feminism. Sometimes I laugh at these crazy women, sometimes I pity these poor unhappy women who maybe just were not destinied to meet real men?? And I don’t have any familiar feminists to talk in person to and find out what makes a woman try so unnatural role and function?? For me personally, a feminist is a kind of monster who pretends to be man and woman at once, but instead she looses all her feminity, charm and attraction and at the same time she fails in getting qualities of a true man. She becomes a type of scary hybrid:-) Total failure:-(
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Saturday 10 June, 8pm-1am

Who should be there? Amongst, the Republicans you will find the most staunch advocates and fathers and fathers in families. You might also find another group of staunch individuals, – those who are confronting the law. Would you want to be there? Is the law always right? A man is born with two instincts. First he understands right from wrong, and second he understands justice and injustice. The law is not always right; it depends entirely on who writes it. I’m going to be there, how about you?

Details, on notice board – to the right- scroll down.

Today I stopped by a mighty Totaro. I said to him, “you must have stood against some mighty storms in your time, but you are still standing.”
“Yes”, said the mighty Totara, but I have my roots in solid ground. “Why do you ask?”
Well, I am weathering the mighty storm of feminism, and even though I have my roots in solid ground I feel like I might be uprooted.
Mighty Storm, M.I.G.H.T.Y S.T.O.R.M, said the Totara, that’s not a mighty storm, feminism is just a case of bad breath.

Just perusing my local papers again … Can anyone explain to me why one paedophile known to abuse several boys repeatedly over many years gets a lighter sentence (and pretty well assured no jail time) than another paedophile known to have abused just the one girl once, who is therefore sentenced to jail?

• Victim’s mum furious abuser may avoid jail
• Motueka iwi worker jailed for indecent assault

Do the courts really care that much less about boys being sexually abused than girls?

We’re now on court records, team. Judge Mathers came out with his decision today (can’t mention the content just yet) but in it was references to my and your mails to this site.

Anyone in the mood to get stuck into Lizzie-My-Diet-Isn’t-Working, can do so to her boss. You might like to mention that you are somewhat surprised that Lizzie MDIW is here on a temp work permit, ruining the lives of NZ children.

Isn’t that just such a great set-up? I vaguely remember some viscious Yank psycho-mess who spent a whole lot of time trying to ruin the lives of a mother/sister/son play-centre in San Diego, then came to NZ on a temp permit to help put Peter Ellis away.

Her boss is at Waitakere is…..

sandra.bowden003@cyf.govt.nz

And if you’re in a mood to say a few choice words to Sandra’s boss, then go here… sue.ross001@cyf.govt.nz

Don’t get too comfortable Lizzie. You may have got the ticket but the money ain’t delivered yet.

Anyway, our concerns and fears are now in official court records. At least 43 pages of them are there now. That has to be a good start.

However, I thought you might all enjoy the following.

The first is Paul Bakers reply to my email; followed by my email.
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Interesting that the top three headlines on Stuff.co.nz earlier this morning all featured reports of Domestic Violence. These further examples of the current ‘epidemic’ (to use phraseology often employed by the Women’s Refuge, particularly when they’re seeking more government funding) of domestic violence are very revealing:

Lover was ‘mad at thought of betrayal’

A woman who allegedly masterminded a fatal arson attack was furious at the thought of her boyfriend having sex with his relative because “they looked so much alike”, a court has been told.

Bail for mum charged with baby’s manslaughter

A 20-year-old University of Otago student appeared in court yesterday charged with manslaughter of a newborn baby girl found wrapped in a plastic bag in Dunedin.

Beating victim under guard as attacker eludes police

A woman whose ex-partner allegedly subjected her to a brutal six-hour beating and stabbing ordeal on Sunday remains under police protection in hospital as the hunt for him goes on.

Will The Refuge include the first two cases that resulted in deaths, in their statistics? Will the current oft-quoted six deaths of women and children at the hands of domestic violence over the last year or so be upped to eight (conveniently omitting of course that these latest two died at the hands of women)? Will the Refuge still tell us that it is men that are violent, not women? Will the first of the above cases be cited as pre-emptive violence on men (which we all know The Refuge publicly endorse)?

As a complete aside, I was going to write another epic regarding the second of the above articles, when the case was first reported. I was going to ask the usual questions regarding where the child’s father was, and whether he even knew he had fathered a child. Now it seems more relevant than ever: Would this child be alive today if her father had been there?

Here comes Sue Bradford again with her bid to repeal section 59 of the Crimes Act. While she now concedes there will have to be changes to her bill, one can only ask why then would we not change the current legislation rather than repeal it. Her bill does not contain the words mother and father, as the current legislation does.

59.Domestic discipline—

Every parent of a child and, subject to subsection (3) of this section, every person in the place of the parent of a child is justified in using force by way of correction towards the child, if the force used is reasonable in the circumstances.

And you say, but I didn’t see mother and father there either.

If there can be a person in place of a parent, then what is a parent?

The answer is a mother and a father.

Loose section 59 and you will empower the state parent of the Family Court. This state wants legal ownership of our sons and daughters.

Extract from the above stuff link:

The bill passed its first reading before the election with the help of Labour, but its continued support is not guaranteed. Whip Darren Hughes said a decision on further support would be made after the committee reported, though Labour agreed some reform was required.No surprise that Sue Bradford’s private members bill coincides with the Government’s agreement with the United Nations to repeal this law during 2005.

note steeling is not a spelling mistake, just an obscure meaning.

It must be considered that there is nothing more difficult to carry out, nor more doubtful of success, nor more dangerous to handle, than to initiate a new order of things. For the reformer has enemies in all those who could profit by the old order, and only lukewarm defenders in all those who could profit by the new order. This lukewarmness arises partly from fear of their adversaries, who have the laws in their favour, and partly from the incredulity of mankind, who do not truly believe in anything new until they have an actual experience of it.

Niccola Machiavelli, The Prince

The above was written 400 years ago. It seems just as relevant today as it was back then. Below are some other interesting quotes.

Generally speaking, the younger and more highly educated people are, the more likely they are to change

Resistance is often a reaction to the methods of instituting change rather than change itself.

Many people fear the unknown and the uncertainty accompanying change. They also fear losing their jobs, losing respect or status and failure.

When logic vies with emotion it rarely stands a chance.

Romney & Steinbart

On Nine to Noon yesterday, Katherine Rich interviewed Bruce Tichbon from Families Apart Require Equality.

Photo: Bruce Tichbon in action last weekend (from Noelle’s video – link below transcript).

For the next few days you can listen to the audio here.

I was so impressed with Bruce’s communication skills I have transcribed his responses for everyone to read. Rich’s questions are paraphrased.

Question: what happened over the weekend?

In Palmerston [Nth] we got a team together and we went around the homes of two Family Court lawyers and a psychologist. We are aware that other groups all round the country are staging similar protests.

The objective is to just make people aware of what is going on in the Family Court, and is to try and get the message across.

I have to say Katherine, we’ve tried everything. I have been actively campaigning for 15 years to try and get reform. We’ve been to Select Committees, politicians, we’ve talked to judges, the Law Society, the Law Commission, we’ve done reports, everything you can think of. It’s just doesn’t get a response.

So now we are ramping up the action, and we are just doing things that tend to get a bit more public attention. And a bit more media attention!

Question: Have you not seen any improvement over your 15 years?

No. I talk to hundreds of people out there who are affected. We are not seeing these improvements at all. In fact, what is being done and what is being presented by the Family Court industry (if I may call it that) is really quite misleading.
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