Hi there,

I have some issues around Child Support and wanted to know if there was anyone out there who could offer me some advice.

I have an shared care agreement with my ex 50/50 but are getting stung quite heavily on Child support payments by IRD.

I earn considerably more than my ex but it appears she has reduced her hours of work so the ammount I pay via off setting contines to increase.

My ex and I are also supposed to split all child care costs although I have not recieved any compensation from her in over a year?

What to do?

Bob

I think the first thing you need to ask is what is the meaning of smart?

Smart means ‘intelligent’. Intelligent means ‘the power of reasoning and understanding objectively’.

I suppose some would know the answer to this instantly. But that would stop my article so I will continue on.

Who represents women these days and who represents men. Simple answer; feminists represent women and men are represented as themselves. I am starting to wonder whether women really are being discriminated against. I know we are. But it is not from men. It is from our selves. Our own sex.

Look at the facts of what is going on. (more…)

Extract from Green Party Press Release – Wellington tonight.

Green MP to speak at S59 book launch tonight

Green Party Spokesperson for Children’s Issues, Sue Bradford, will speak tonight at the launch of the book ‘Unreasonable Force’, a history of the campaign to end legalised physical punishment of children in New Zealand.

The launch takes place 6.00pm – 7.30pm Tuesday 19th February at the Loaves and Fishes cafe, next to St Paul’s Cathedral, Wellington.

“The ongoing campaign to overturn last year’s law change on Section 59 makes the book launch tonight especially relevant,” Ms Bradford says.

Auckland Father and Child Trust –
Inaugural Meeting is on Monday 25th,
7-9pm at the Onehunga Community House,
83 Selwyn St Onehunga, Auckland

All interested fathers/people welcome,
partly to encourage dads who want company, would like to join our volunteer committee, or would like a free magazine…!

Our ‘ceo’ Harald Breiding-Buss will be up here, he has over ten years experience, from Chch

We have secured funding from the ASB Trust, partly to maintain our Auckland Trust Office, also to print a ‘New Babies Edition’ Magazine, will soon be free in ‘Bounty Packs’ all over NZ…

We have Trust members, magazine subscribers and contributers all over the country, Our positive support for all fathers message seems to win favor with the media!

Republicans Napier Candidate Karl Brett takes issue with the New Zealand State, who through cyps and the family court have created New Zealands stolen generation

Will this Labour Government apologise to the thousands of children whose lives have been damaged by the failed experiment called the New Zealand family court, asks Napier Candidate Karl Brett.

Press Release at republicans.org.nz

..the Christchurch children were each subjected to an average 400 questions by Social Welfare Department specialist staff, compared with 200 in the American case.In the American case a daycare worker was released after an appeal to the Supreme Court, which found the children’s interviews were “highly improper” with interviewers using “coercive and unduly suggestive methods”.

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A leading contributer to why <1% of early childhood teachers are men, and <20% of primary teachers.

The sentencing today of a geologist and manager of the Black Reef Mining Company highlights the disregard NZ shows to men’s contribution. Robert McGowan died when the mine he was working in was engulfed by floodwaters from an adjoining mine abandoned since 1932. The Department of Labour prosecuted the geologist and manager, and police are reported to be considering whether to pursue criminal charges. (more…)

This was answered over a question posted on a “yahoo answers” where you can ask any question you like to the wide world Internet.

This was the question:
Do these groups represent Men Rights Activists, or are they just radicals? Who does speak for MRA’s? And a number of links were put forward. Links from fathers and males of many ages including young teens who are spreading the caution to their brothers as to what the world is like for males. And spreading the solutions to help one another. (more…)

A National Radio interview this morning was another example of how violence against men by women is minimized. The mayor of Waitomo, Mark Ammon, described being assaulted by a Maori woman, Kahu Hohaia when he went to walk on a beach. Ms Hohaia believes visitors do not have a right to walk on the beach because it ajoins Maori land and a burial site, and she appears to have appointed herself as an enforcer of that rule even though her view is not consistent with the legal status of the beach. (more…)

The anti-smacking law brought in last year appears to be effective in persecuting good parents and wasting police time while our houses continue to be burgled, our children cut their feet on deliberately smashed glass bottles, and gangs intimidate many communities. I have not seen a gender break-down of those parents attracting police attention, warnings or prosecutions for using physical force in disciplining their children but one can assume it will be mainly men who are now harassed for their sense of responsibility in shaping and managing their children’s behaviour.

This story on Stuff tells of a father who is surrounded by six police after he flicked the ear of his 3-year-old son. (more…)

Are things balancing for fathers in Family Court proceedings as Judge Boshier (head Judge of the FC) tries to make us believe is a question I raised on another site that helps fathers through this difficult time. Here is an agreed comment back from fathers who work with cases.

My personal experience is that – here in Hawkes Bay – changes for the better are happening. Just recently for example, we (UoF – no lawyer) put together an application for a Without Notice Parenting Order and it was granted. I have to say that a couple of years ago, this would never have happened. We have also been far more successful in recent times achieving shared care.

It is important to note that Hawkes Bay is an area organised and the ‘Father’s Coalition’ and ‘Union of Fathers’ have protested outside the FC in numbers and were part of a documentary on TV. Not all areas are the same. (more…)

In today’s Dominion Post

The Health Ministry’s foot-dragging stance on prostate cancer screening for Kiwi men is criminal, patient advocates and doctors say.

A study by Wellington researchers of prostate screening and treatment, published in the December edition of the international journal Pathology, suggests the ministry’s outdated guidelines could be costing 200 men their lives each year.

The Ministry of Justice is carrying out a review of the Domestic Violence Act 1995

Somehow I don’t think we should expect substantial reform:

Recently we have consulted government agencies, the judiciary and some representative interest groups to obtain an up-to-date picture of how the legislation is working. Most people we have consulted support the principles and framework of the Act, and there has been no indication over the years that a more fundamental review is warranted. Therefore, we have taken an “issues-based” approach to this review.

(more…)

The Innocence Project New Zealand Conference at Wellington’s Victoria University last week proved to be an extremely interesting and educational three days.

Organised by Matthew Gerrie & Maryanne Garry, the project is primarily a group of scientists, writers and lawyers who aim to investigate possible cases wrongful conviction in the New Zealand legal system, educate people working in the justice system, and conduct research aimed at making criminal investigations as effective and safe as possible. Sadly, there were no judges at this conference, and I was shocked that nobody from the Ministry of Justice bothered to attend. (more…)

From Stuff.

Why not just make unpaid Child Support work the same as unpaid court fines?? Treat them like unpaid fines – clamp the non-paying parents’ cars, seize goods and in the end if they still don’t pay, have them hauled before a judge to be treated like fine defaulters. Put the non-paying parents’ names with debt collecting firms to ensure they no longer get credit to buy their big screen TV etc instead of paying for their own kids.
Mark Miller

Inland Revenue have a possessed toy by the same name, don’t they?

Dads not happy with mum’s violence challenge
By JOHN HENZELL – The Press | Wednesday, 05 December 2007

A fathers’ group is outraged Christchurch police have been challenged for informing a dad that his children had been present during a domestic-violence incident between their mother and her new partner.

The father learnt of the incident more than a year later when his son mentioned fighting and that they had been “in a police car” when they were taken to the safety of their grandmother’s home.

… Darrell Carlin, spokesman for the Union of Fathers, said it showed once again that the authorities were failing to make children’s rights the priority.

“Fathers need to be in a position to protect their children (but) it happens quite frequently that fathers don’t get to see what’s going on,” he said.

“He could have gone through the custody case and the court wouldn’t have been notified that this had gone on because it didn’t involve both (the mother and father).

“This case was about the mother’s dignity and feeling of humiliation, but we’ve got to bring it back to the kids and what it’s like for them and what it’s like to be taken out of their house in the middle of the night in a police car.

“To keep the checks and balances, fathers definitely have the right to know whether their children are likely to be in any kind of danger.”

Those who have separated may have recognized the extra expense of running two households when there had been only one while the family remained together. Researchers at Michigan State University have studied the environmental impact of increasing divorce rates. They calculate that an extra 38 million rooms, 78 billion kilowatt-hours of electricity ad 2373 billion litres of water are needed each year to accommodate this selfish fashion. Will the Clark government take steps to discourage family separation as part of its claimed priority on environmental protection? Unlikely. For this feminist government, biological families are seen as bastions of patriarchy that need to be torn down, and separation provides a convenient way to transfer wealth between the genders and to enslave men in order to pay for women’s lifestyles with no reciprocal obligation.

An astonishing article on National Radio this morning about Marianne Tremaine, described as “an executive of the Centre for Women and Leadership at Massey University” (what’s the bet there isn’t one for men…). The National Radio link will only last for a week but after that I will have a copy of this interview for anyone who wants it. Ms Tremaine is about to be awarded her PhD for her research into women mayors, and she has already won an international journalistic literary award. Here’s a Listener article that describes some of her findings. Apparently, she interviewed a number of NZ women mayors, no male mayors, and concluded that women mayors were much better than men at their jobs because they had “balanced egos” and unlike men were not “too concerned about themselves” to be able to see what the community needed. Apparently the lady mayors tended to admire the kinds of attributes that women mayors had rather than men mayors (how surprising). According to the women mayors, communities were much more impressed with women mayors and formed much closer bonds with them (so how come many communities vote for men?). (more…)

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A lot of deceit has gone on over the Electoral Bill but it is from the outside made to look so that the opposition to Labour cannot use their power of money.

And yet at the same time Labour is using dirty political tactics to win votes. This post is only touching the rim. Their tactics are very well planned.

John Keys video

Also of notice is the newspaper article on this bill ….

and the street protest. This is a must to read and notice the placards.

You can check out more if you wish by searching the HeraldNZ newspaper with the words electoral bill.

When 2000 people marched down Queen Street on 17th November the Prime Minister dismissed it as, “Not indicative of a groundswell.”

What do you think about that Aucklanders?

If you care about free elections – whatever party you support – come to the Auckland Town hall Saturday 1st December from 2pm and march down Queen Street at 2.30pm.

And show Helen Clark, Winston Peters, Jeanette Fitzsimons and Peter Dunne that elections are not owned by the Government, but by the people.

I watched this South Pacific Pictures movie last night and recommend it highly to all. It’s about Dave Henderson’s real-life fight against the IRD that shafted him. Many have been shafted by government departments and Courts, but few battle as effectively as Mr Henderson did.

Notable in the story were the gender issues. The problem apparently began when a male IRD officer made inappropriate personal comments to Mr Henderson’s partner. When Mr Henderson attempted to defend her honour by threatening violence, the IRD officer mounted a vendetta.

His partner, though initially happy at his chivalry, soon became stressed at the developments. She started attributing the problem to Mr Henderson’s own shortcomings, his anger and social impropriety (even though he behaved quite well after his initial outburst). She pushed him against his better judgement to share details about what was happening but as soon as he did she sulked and complained that he was raising his voice. She became angry with him when in his stressed condition he showed impatience towards her son. She berated him for raising his voice etc even while she was shouting at him about it. In the middle of it all she left him because it was too stressful, thereby wrecking the bond he had fostered with her son and leaving Mr Henderson bereft. When he eventually succeeded she was back to “I miss you”, and his chivalry extended to forgiving her readily for her abandonment of him in his hour of need.

Many men will find the themes quite familiar from their own experiences. Of a number of morals to this story, I will highlight only the importance of keeping detailed records of all communications and experiences when involved in a dispute.

J.A.M has been developed by Jim Bagnall during and through his support for over 10,000 Fathers and a few Mothers going through the Family Court.

The word justifiable applies to the context of the anger and its source and does not glorify anger in anyway. Justifiable is a word for an acceptance of that person’s anger.

The Pay/Fight back scale provides a framework and a structure in which anger exists and an explanation both to the angry person and their helper of how both the energy from the anger can be used and how a person can use the scale not only for understanding their anger but for analysis and action to combat their role deletion.

The scale usually should be read or listened to from its base which starts out with description at the Instinctual level and then moves up through anger’s mind treadmills and obsessions to a social level and a place where a person can find outlets for his/her analysis of where he/she is at.

At the top of the scale there is a place where standards are reshaped through analysis and where a re formed identity is realized and a higher justification is reached based on valuing people and a just outcome giving new strength through adversity.

Contact Jim Bagnall for J.A.M

Multi-Party Group Works On Family Violence Prevention

www.mensgroups.org.nz has been developed by David Brindley. Drawing on experience as a Trustee of MensTrust in Christchurch, his own growth through Men’s Work and as a participant and organiser of Men’s Groups, David has worked to create an informative web site to support Men currently in groups and to encourage Men to seek and join a Group.
(more…)

Sorry for the short notice but we have tickets for free parking in a city carpark and free tickets for a special area where children will not only see the Santa Parade but receive free goodies and such.

Santa Parade for single parents (mums and dads)

Also free tickets for a family show from Southern Stars Charitable Trust. Once again these tickets are $30 each to the public.

Date: 8th December 2007
Venue: ASB Showgrounds, Greenlane Rd West, Auckland
Times: 10am, 1pm and 4pm.

Christmas Adventure

Please let me know ASAP. If I can’t get the tickets out to you in time you can pick them up from my home.

[email protected]

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An awareness week for Men’s Health featuring FREE Men’s Health Check-ups, FREE Men’s Gym Sessions and a FREE Men’s Health Forum.

Waitakere Men’s Health Week. Waitakere City is to have it’s inaugural Men’s Health Week from 19 – 25 November. This week, which features FREE Men’s Health Checks at participating local medical practices, FREE Men’s Fitness Sessions at participating local gyms and a FREE Men’s Health Forum, is all about raising men’s awareness about the necessity to get checked regularly. It is a forum about men, for men, women and youth. The Forum, MC’d by Peter Leitch – The Mad Butcher, opened by Pete Hodgson – The Minister of Health, and featuring top speakers on Cardio Vascular Disease, Prostate Cancer, Men’s Mental Health and The Importance of a Healthy Male Workforce, will provide the men of Waitakere with all the information they need to keep alive and well. Simple tests conducted by a GP could save the lives of many Waitakere men of all ethnicities, from all walks of life, who die from preventable diseases such as Cardio Vascular Disease and Prostate Cancer. The Forum, from 6.30 – 9.00pm on Wednesday 21 November at The Trusts Stadium in Henderson, is a joint initiative between HealthWEST PHO and The Lions Club of Te Atatu. There will be great information stalls and wonderful prize draws for circular saws, toolboxes, T-shirts and other blokes stuff. Be a man, be staunch, be there!!! For a brochure:

Contact: Kay Lindley
Tel: 837 8820 Fax: 837 8852
Email: [email protected]
Website: www.healthwest.co.nz