Having spent 3 years in a relationship with someone (and having a child together) only to find that you have been accused of assault after separation can be rough.

Having met my ex-partner while working as a teacher, we fell in love very quickly. The relationship was a wirlwind of ups and downs but that’s what seemed to attract me to her. After a short while together she became pregnant and I was ecstatic that I was going to be a father.

We remained together a further 2 years until the day I discovered that she was having and affair (by stumbling upon it one faithful afternoon). I packed my belongings and left with plans of sorting out the next steps in a couple of days.

It was 2 days later when a call came to my friend flat asking me to pick something up from the police station. At the station I was arrested and told I was being charged with MAF (male assaults female). Having no time to process what was going on I was rushed into an interview room and told to make a statement. I did so, however as I did not say anything incriminating my statement was never brought to me to sign and I was told that it can’t be used as it was not signed.

After such an odd event I was also served with a protection order and told I would need to challenge it in court. I did not meet the criteria for legal aide and as a result ended up paying large amounts of lawyer fees with credit cards. I also lost access to my son and my teaching license was suspended due to The charges relating to serious concerns for child safety and school reputations.

I appeared in court with witnesses(one of which was the person she was having an affair with) and they confirmed that no physical altercation took place that night. The charges were dropped, the protection order removed and everyone involved in the legal process was pleased with the result saying I should be too.

This is where my bitterness really took hold. I had lost my career(at least in the short term), accumulated a large debt, lost access to my son for several months and have to work on reforming a bond, not to mention the stress from the previous year.
While my ex-partner suffers none of the consequences of making a false statement.

At this point I am wondering about the morality of the justice system (a system I used to believe was there to treat you as innocent until proven guilty but found the opposite to be true). I also wonder how many men are in the same position or worse as they are unable to prove their innocence?

Don’t get me wrong, believe that assault in a family relationship is wrong regardless of who the abuser is, however the events of the past year have made me doubt every accusation of abuse I have heard. A system that treats every man as an uncontrollable abuser and females as defenseless and weak is not a system that promotes female protection but is rather anti-male.

I believe that a system which treats abuse as wrong is correct, however a timeframe lasting a year is not conducive to providing justice for either party, being forced into separate legal battles doesn’t help either, men being forced into a 20 week anger management course before any verdict is delivered aides in the idea of automatic guilt (females also have this if accused of assault however only attend 6-8 week courses which provides more questions of equivalent treatment) and compensation needs to be made to those falsely accused (even better would be a public apology).

Hi all,

I was wondering if anyone has experience with reconciling with their wife after seperation – following involvement with Oranga Tamariki (now discharged) and where the Father has full custody and a parental order for the Mother’s contact?

I’m wondering where to from here and if it’s feasible from a judge and lawyer for child’s perspective. We have both done considerable work to address the concerns raised by the OT (not violence or abuse). At this stage there is a round table meeting coming up before the DC to finalize contact. It has been 2 years since this all began and we separated.

I would appreciate any advice from anyone who has been through this.

Thank you

I’m going to ask you for 12 minutes of your time to view this video clip.

Erin believes males are dying from being hated and being discriminated against. She says it is a form of genocide and it is being funded by the Government.

Says the Government plays the paper trail and does not actively take any action against male suicide.

Video link here

Hello

I am currently writing a dissertation for a Master of Health Science – Violence and Trauma. My topic of research is:

Men’s experiences of help seeking as victims of intimate partner violence; is there a need for change in community agency responses and/or family friends as first responders

A rather long convoluted title at present. 🙂

In a nut shell, I am looking for men who have been victims of intimate partner violence (IPV) from their female partner, who are prepared to tell me their story and to be heard. IPV (domestic violence) encompasses all forms of violence and abuse; emotional, physical, sexual, verbal, psychological, and controlling behaviors .

I believe that men as victims of IVP is a hidden phenomenon in NZ, and I want to examine the culture behind this; why don’t men tell – what are the barriers to telling – and if they do tell, who do they tell and what happens? I believe there is an asymmetry in the focus of IPV, in data collection of male victims, in services provided for male victims, and in gendered therapeutic interventions.

I am a mature female with a social work degree, and a post grad diploma in violence and trauma. I have worked in the prison system, both male and female, and also in child protection services. I have many years of listening to people’s truths, and working in the realm of difference and diversity.

If you would like to know more about the research and would consider participating , please email me at [email protected] and I will send you an invitation, with further information.
Thank you, kind regards

Hey Folks, we just launched some petitions on the parliament website a couple of days ago. Could you please sign them and share them with other people ……. Much appreciated! Links below …

Petition 1 : Sanctions on parents who misuse Family Court procedures

Petition 2 : Default 50/50 shared care for children after parental relationship breakdown

On International Men’s Day I saw Ford vs Ferrari the movie…what a movie!…

These kind of historic heights of Man, they were created because Man search for betterment, be it power from an engine or making of a country, this is our history and it is a great history full of valour and conquest.

The tables have turned for sure. The figures for Public Service workers, Ministry for Social development and now even general employment have women overtaken Men, though in the case of the first two mentioned sectors the percentage difference is in the extremes, public sector being around high sixtys to Mens high twenty percentages and similar stats for MSD.

So in this Ministry for Women announcement of which there are always many and continuos SHE SAYS that flexible work time will benefit both Men and Women the facts are that Women in their bulk are in these sectors of employment.

https://women.govt.nz/news/flexible-work-pilots-begin-public-service

My Son in Law has been immersed in the education sector this past year and will next year be teaching,,, he expounded to me the other day that we need more male teachers!,, NO KIDDING!!!
He is hugely competitive and so I am sure has come to see the lack of that within the system, a bunch of girls doing what is rightfully their option to do anything they want.

Sweden, as a country, consider themselves a feminist society with fourty percent considering themselves so, however when a Swedish Education specialist was over here recently he talked of how proud he was of their system and of how competitive it was, high callibre, highly paid and highly sought.

Levels of of teaching tell a different story in that secondary and particularly tertiary teaching is more Male predominant than with the primary and below, great but the concern here is that we have had falling numbers of university going males and when our higher Male Teachers retire who will replace them,, many industries have older Men who worry that when they do retire who will replace them.

Getting Care Right for All Children: Implementing the UN Guidelines for the Alternative Care of Children
Ensure that alternative care is a necessary, suitable and positive experience for children, with this free online course.
Taking the UN Guidelines as a framework, this free online course will help you gain insight into how the unnecessary placement of a child in alternative care can be prevented; how alternative care can constitute a suitable, positive experience for a child when it is necessary; and how children and young people who are leaving care can best be supported. Learn with alternative care specialists from CELCIS, UNICEF and the UN.
https://www.futurelearn.com/courses/alternative-care
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
This course will lay out issues that need to be competently considered when making decisions around care of children.
Separated parents will likely find the course constructive by reminding them of the issues that need to be considered, rather than looking on custody fights as a battle to death.
Although the Care of Children Act 2004 has moved away from talking about custody of children, towards focusing on day to day care, most judges are still thinking in terms of the old Guardianship Act 1966. This winner takes all attitude encourages lengthy and expensive to families legal fights, which of course serves legal worker’s paramount interests.
If litigants can focus on children’s interests, they can protect the family from financial destruction by legal workers and protect the children’s right to a healthy upbringing.

Please see link below
https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=12272738
Not only hell to go through, even though backed by the judge when found not guilty, judge awards costs against crown law but he still loses $200 000
Andres

I am meeting with Paul Hunt the New Zealand Human Rights Commissioner on 16 September.

I plan to discuss with him the gender politics of the NZHRC which appears to me to be ideological driven rather than rights driven. I will address a number of issues that disproportionately affect men or where men are neglected including: suicide and mental health; incarceration rates (prison population); criminal justice – gendered crimes, domestic violence and police and other frontline responses; family court.

I will not have a lot of time but if you have any specific suggestions please feel free to contact me.
[email protected]
02102235785

Fellow jailbirds,

we need to communicate to the NZ public about the realities of what goes on in her magesties caught$ and jail$.
Should we be more active in communicating to the public by holding art exhibitions?

https://www.facebook.com/events/331214947560832/
TĀMAKI MAKAURAU // 2-14 SEPTEMBER // STUDIO ONE TOI TŪ
Opening Monday 2nd September // 5.30pm

Prison doesn’t just affect the incarcerated. Families are left without a parent, a child or a sibling. Communities left with a hole where a person once was.

Kōrero Pono, a multimedia exhibition created by JustSpeak, is travelling the country, giving a voice to those with lived experience of the justice system.

The exhibition features the intimate stories of sixteen people who have been affected by incarceration. The stories run alongside portraits by a number of Kiwi artists including Marianne Muggeridge, Xoë Hall and John Crawford.

JustSpeak Director, Tania Sawicki Mead, says the project shares the importance of investing in solutions that resolve harm, rather than believing that punishment will provide accountability.

“Kōrero Pono simply translates to honest talk, which is what we need when it comes to incarceration in New Zealand,” she says.

“The stories, and accompanied artworks, come together as a powerful exhibition that speaks to the long term consequences of prison on family members, on job prospects and our collective failure to address the complex drivers of harm such as family violence, drug and alcohol addiction, and mental distress,” she says.
(more…)

The Phrase FAMILY LAWYER is commonly used on the Ministry of Justice website.
I am not sure WHY?
In my experience there was a Lawyer for HER, a Lawyer for HIM, and a Lawyer for the Baby.

Three Blind Lawyers, blind to the ‘FAMILY’.

Trying to make sense of the process in the light of ‘Family’ meant we were not only in the Dark, were being kept in the Dark, but also hope dwindled to hopeless.

The Three people in that Family were kept apart for so long there was no coming back from the awful experience.

The idea of a Family Lawyer would sound okay to me if I were to look at that phrase in my logic light.
A Professional in the field of Law and the Family, some one to guide you through the process from the beginning to get a ‘good for all’ result in a timely manner, Parents, their Babies and even extended families able to move forward in the re adjusted framework of their new lives apart.

THREE BLIND LAWYERS, THREE BLIND LAWYERS,
SEE THEM WORK,
EXPERIENCED IN RAWNESS,
WHO GAVE THEM A RIGHT TO CARRY ON THE FAMILY FIGHT,
ONE PARENT FAMILIES CREATED LEFT, RIGHT AND CENTRE,
LEAVING CHILDREN NOT KNOWING HOW TO VENT THEIR ANGER………

Felicity was interviewed on Morning Report today about the forthcoming appeal by Peter Ellis. She says:

“Basing a conviction purely on a child’s testimony, particularly when there has been a number of suggestive interviews that have taken place, is incredibly unsafe…not just for the person who gets wrongly convicted – it is incredibly damaging for the children who come to believe that these terrible things happened to them when they didn’t.”
(more…)

New divorce law recommended by the Law Commissioner

Arrested. Put in jail. Ruined for money. Cheated out of his home.

The police did not investigate claims.

On this occasion one female detective picked up on inconsistencies and decided to investigate.

It took 5 years. His parents spent AU$600,000 to find his innocence. Zero compensation. An a unbelievable toll to this man.

The previous post is a discussion about parental alienation surfacing as a world issue and how some New Zealand citizens have taken it upon themselves to express an opinion on behalf of our country.

An older post, Crusade for Free Speech discusses the role this issue played in undermining the essence of a democratic parliament, and a New Zealand parliament in particular.

It is particularly relevant to Fathers and men who value the importance of free speech.

Within our parliamentary system (more…)

What was your instant reaction when you saw that … a disease?

This is a proposal currently being given consideration by World Health. Previous posts on MENZ have debated child alienation from many angles but I don’t recall, disease. The process is probably following in the footsteps of addiction therapy which is mainly to do with funding, stigma, and recovery, even if it is not actually a disease.

These processes often arise out of larger target groups; for example drug addiction issues in the US armed services.

We’ve called it many things; a range of immorality, brainwashing, revenge and (more…)

I know two BOYS,,, one 8, one 10,
Their Lady teachers talk to them in Baby talk, they are 8 and 10!,, 8 and 10!!!

I see other Boys, often they have no Dad,,, their Mothers talk to them like Babies!!!

Please some one tell me, who they will be, will they be okay, will they be strong of mind?

Who will (more…)

This is where we are headed now.

The day after the introduction of new Family Law Legislation we see the demonizing case carpet-bombing New Zealand media.

This story from Australia is a used as a coordinated attack on our social perspective. There is a deliberate intention here, of simple-minded people who have no concern for the consequences of their actions.

In isolation it is one case. However, published to this extent, (more…)

This Act comes into force today, Monday 1st July 2019.

It replaces the Domestic Violence Act that entered our legislation on the 1st July 1995. The elephant in the original act is that it was not designed for New Zealand by New Zealanders. It was the brain child of a bitter and twisted foreigner that was glibly accepted by our parliament.

The current legislation 24 years later has been in development for sometime and has been passed on from the previous government. What relationship that might have with the current working group inquiry is probably a little vague.

What should also be read with this act is (more…)

Personally I’m looking back at a 25 year history of incompetence, corruption and the ensuing consequences that flow from this environment, and the arogant shit heads that infest it, and the good money bled by taxpayers for no good outcome, but that’s just New Zealand.

I’m no longer a direct participant but if you are, you have my heartfelt sympathy, if you’ve been blindsided by the unbelievable.

Recently we have seen the release of a report from an inquiry into the New Zealand Family Court and (more…)

A previous post, Just a Sperm Donor based on a case that originated in New South Wales but ended up a federal case, has so far attracted one comment from the land far far away.

Does that deserve to be won in a court of law at the high court?

Even though the girl was the result of her father’s original sperm, and not from her friend’s sperm?

Here is another interesting case from Nanded in India that has a basis in ‘Human Rights’ that we might be interested in.

The order (?decision) was passed by Judge Swati Chauhan of the Nanded Family Court last week. The order reads,

“…right to reproduce is a very intricate feminine right emanating from woman’s basic human right. Not allowing a fertile woman to procreate is like compelling her to sterilise. To curb or to curtail reproductive right may have subtle and devastating demographic outcome.”

Am I detecting a concern on behalf of Mother Nature, that interfering with this women’s desire to reproduce will upset the balance of nature?

What will make your eyes water is the rest of the story. (This couple are both doctors). (more…)

As an atheist and agnostic I have no time at all for religious statements. The ancient scriptures were written by men within the context in which their society existed.

The facts:

Both the Bible and the Quran are fundamental documents of the respective faiths and are not banned publications.

Folau refused to sign a contract forbidding him from expressing his support for the biblical teachings and therefore he was free to quote from them on his social media.

Freedom of speech means the freedom to express your thoughts regarding any subject you believe to have merit providing you have not voluntarily given up that right to your employer or any other agent.

What is Hate Speech?

Section 131 of the Human Rights Act deals with extreme acts of offensive speech. It is a criminal offence to publish or use threatening, abusive or insulting words. This section requires an intention of inciting ill-will or hostility to the people targeted.

Folau did not incite hostility to anyone. He believes he can save people, from a place he believes in called hell, by a method called repenting.

The juxtaposition

The zeitgeist of the period in history we are in is a dangerous one for father’s rights. All males are seen as tyrants due to the feminist dogma that states ‘patriarchal hierarchy is pure evil’. To quote material from any publication that challenges that dogma, or indeed display your own thoughts on the matter, may well ‘trigger’ a female reader into disgust thereby deeply offending her.

The writer may well then face criminal proceedings under new hate speech laws that are being considered at the moment.

Such radical legislation may not seem possible but you need to consider the speed at which society has changed its views over such a small period of time and the power and speed at which the radical left is gaining momentum.

I have supported the Gay community since I was very young as I had family friends with that inclination. I always viewed society as ignorant and bigoted in matters concerning homosexuality. Never did I think that society would remain equally ignorant and bigoted when the coin was flipped.

Be afraid, be very afraid.

The concept that the law is not black and white, confuses many people, especifically those that are just curious. They haven’t taken the time to work these things out.

Black and White is the foundation also of many liteary themes and a source of conflict in writing.

We misunderstand ourselves inside these processes.

From our (more…)

With the flurry of surveys and much talk about the rise of the want for a more Conservative governance both here and across the world, the heart of the Family is taking a bow amongst those wanting more conservatism and less Me me, individual me.

There is no doubting that at the same time technology is set to take another leap, on line gaming will increase and only Family can keep this from becoming a track that children take and become unreachable.
Parents used to question themselves on how good was it? to sit wee Johnny and Martha down in front of the TV, but now device time has soared, children are even growing new neck parts to make up for the way they stare down into their devices,,, do we really want epidemic after epidemic, where is the control, where is the care.

A call to Family is a call to Fathers, and their families, if we have to fight for Family Values then it must be together, Family values are at the very heart of the issues that Men all over the world are facing.
This really could be an opportunity more suited to the Male in that he is not going to say ‘ME’, he is going to say US, our FAMILIES and a Soul for our Societies.